writing life

Writing Life: the Reality

Published on by Kristi Holl

“Life is difficult,” wrote M. Scott Peck in his famous book The Road Less Traveled. “This … is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it… Once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”

I’d like to amend Peck’s quote to say that “the writing life is difficult.” And once that truth is accepted, “the fact that it is difficult no longer matters.”

The Fantasy

I imagine we all start out on the writing journey with a fantasy of what the writing life will be like. I know I did thirty-five years ago–and it was a fantasy that I clung to tenaciously for far too many years.

My own fantasy involved uninterrupted hours every day to write (after first journaling and then doing some creative writing exercises to ensure the writing would simply “flow”.) My fantasy included the books selling themselves without my help. I expected to reach a time when I’d never have to write anything without having a (lucrative) contract in hand. I also dreamed of writing by longhand in the fragrant garden of a thatched-roof English cottage. Sad to say, the cottage part was the only thing I recognized as pure fantasy. I figured everything else was just a matter of time.

Fast forward thirty-five years and forty-seven published books later…

I love my office in Texas, but it’s a far cry from a thatched-roof cottage. And unless you write from Walden’s Pond, I don’t see how anyone manages to have uninterrupted hours every day to write. Juggling my roles as wife, mother, Nana, daughter, sister, friend, writer and ministry leader means fighting for writing time daily. Each role, at one time or another, has meant dealing with loss, conflict, disappointment, and/or illness–all big time and energy eaters. And because of the changes within the publishing industry–in large part due to the economy and online social marketing demands–there’s no such thing anymore as an author who doesn’t help market his work.

It No Longer Matters

So where’s the silver lining around this black cloud? Simply this. Clinging to my fantasy life of a writer meant that every time reality intruded, I was disappointed or shocked or disillusioned. Lots of angst and wasted energy. As long as I was convinced that the writing life could be simple and more fun than work, I was irritated with reality. I made silent demands that this imperfect writing life go away!

  • Truth #1: The writing life will always be difficult.
  • Truth #2: It doesn’t really matter.
  • Truth #3: All things worth having (family, good health, writing life) are difficult sometimes.
  • Truth #4: We can do difficult things!

Accept Reality

Don’t miss the key point of the blog today. This is not a “downer” message. It’s a truth message–which will set you free. For me, it’s like having kids. Raising a family was the most difficult, time-consuming, challenging thing I’ve done in the last thirty-five years. It has also been the most rewarding, most fun, most gratifying thing I’ve ever done. It’s the same with the writing life. It’s been difficult, but I can’t imagine a career more rewarding than this. After many years, it does get easier--but I would never say it’s easy.

It’s okay to give up the fantasy that someday your writing life will be easy and smooth and not require you to grow or struggle anymore. You really don’t need the fantasy to keep you moving forward. “The fact that it is difficult no longer matters.”

That being the case, what fantasy about the writing life do you suspect you need to let go of?

My Writing Life in Pictures

Published on by Kristi Holl

This is my story the past few weeks…

I’m writing every day, many hours per day.

I’m reading and researching every day.

I have several contracts to fulfill, which is pleasant.

(Story continues below…)

 

 

This is me most evenings.

A darkened room, five minutes of reading for fun, and then blessed sleep.

(Story continues below…)

 

 

 

 

I have learned the difference finally.

I’m not busy on social media.

But I’m producing thousands of words these days.

I’m just missing three things.

(Story finishes below.)

Lions, and Tigers, and Bears…oh my!

Published on by Kristi Holl

Deadlines, and funerals, and a computer virus…oh my! It’s been one of those weeks!

(Photo courtesy of http://the-english-spot.blogspot.com/2009/11/cartoon-idiom-to-be-swamped.html)

A Few Days Later

It’s the weekend, and I’m more tired than I’ve been in a good long while.  And with the holidays coming, I’ve plotted my deadlines and weekly/daily writing “must do” lists on a giant calendar.

And something’s got to give. I won’t make my deadlines if it doesn’t. 

One thing that is going to be put on hold is this blog. I’ll be back when the calendar turns to 2015, but I need the next five weeks to just hunker down and write. I may not be on social media much until then either.

So…Happy Thanksgiving! Have a blessed Christmas. And Have a Happy (Writing) New Year!

A Writing Retreat with Friends

Published on by Kristi Holl

Retreat… Just saying the word is soothing.

While it is taking some planning and shifting of events, I believe I’ll be able to carve out two or three days for a personal writing retreat. Given the price of gas and hotels, though, I’m looking seriously at Judy’s ideas for how to do a retreat at home. (I’m referring again The Writer’s Retreat Kit: A Guide for Creative Exploration and Personal Expression by Judy Reeves.)

Adding Friends

After I do a mini retreat on my own, I’m thinking about trying one early in the new year with a writing friend or two. This quote from her book is what got me to thinking:

“For some of us, much of the joy of going on a writing retreat comes from spending time with other writers. Who else truly understands our need for solitude, our particular quirkiness, our mutterings and frustrations, our joys and disappointments? Who else speaks our language and comprehends the nuances of our silences? Other writers are our creative soulmates, kindred spirits, members of the same tribe. Not all writers, mind you, but those particular few whom we’ve come to know and love and trust with our tender hearts. Going on a writing retreat with a few chosen others, or a single best writer-friend, can deepen our connection with one another and with our writing.”

Doesn’t that sound heavenly? What about you? Is there a favorite writer-friend that you’d enjoy having along for a mini retreat of one day or two?

Nuts and Bolts Practicalities

If you had it at someone’s home, it wouldn’t have to cost anything. Retreaters could even go home to their own comfy beds at night. Retreating from 9-5, with plenty of time for writing exercises, solitude, journaling, talking, eating, walking (and writing on your novel if you felt so moved) would be a rejuvenating experience with the right people.

I’m going to give this some thought and see what my writing friends think!

Writing Fast or Writing Slow: Which is Better?

Published on by Kristi Holl

I’ve always been a fan of writing rough drafts at high speed. Turn off that internal editor! Get those words down as fast as you can! Don’t read anything till you get to the end.

And after absorbing Anne Lamott’s classic book on writing, Bird by Bird, I gave myself permission to write really rotten rough drafts as well.

So Now What?

Today I was reading a couple short chapters in writers in the Spirit by Carol Rottman. Something she said struck an inner chord with me, even though it isn’t actually what I believe. But it’s stayed with me all day, and I’m beginning to wonder. (And I’d like your reactions to it.)

First she talked about how writers used to write: slowly, on paper using a pen or pencil, thoughtfully. That regimen went out the window with the introduction of typewriters, although typing still required white liquid to cover typos. The computer came along and even eliminated messy corrections, and writers were encouraged to create right on the screen. Later, fixing and revising would be a snap.

Then Ms. Rottman said: “There may be a downside to easy writing on computers. More of us are writing, but most are not writing very well. I speak also of myself: I have become a sloppy typist and sometimes, I fear, a sloppy thinker. Knowing how easily words can be changed or rearranged, I don’t give my whole self to the first draft. I am less careful, thoughtful, and creative than I plan to be in the end product. Where once my internal editor ruled,  inhibiting all but the choicest words and  phrases, the antiperfectionist has muscled in, convincing me that anything will do.”

I know I am the same way, chanting “just get it down, just get it down” when hurrying through a rough draft. I’m beginning to wonder how wise all that hurrying is.

Is Writing Speed Everything?

Later she adds:

“Those imperfect first drafts need the clear thought of a devoted writer if they are to be salvaged by revisions. The creative front end of writing is our first drive for truth-telling. Authentic. Passionate. Perceptive. Not perfectly formed but potent.”

In the interest of not letting our internal editor stop us in our writing tracks, have we perhaps shut her up too much? What do you think? Where’s the balance between slow enough writing to capture what you want to say–and enough speed to build momentum and get the story down?

There are no right answers here. What has your own experience been?

A Call to Excellence

Published on by Kristi Holl

Have you lost your passion for writing? Is it harder to get to work than it used to be? Is it writer’s block or burnout? Not necessarily. You may have lost your passion for writing because you’ve lost your passion for excellence.

In the beginning of my writing career, even though I was tripping over babies and toddlers, I made time to write. I really studied magazines and market guides. I bought and read and marked up and re-read many writing craft books. I kept a writer’s notebook handy to jot down detailed character and setting descriptions. I did many writing exercises simply to improve my writing–not with an eye toward selling it. I revised and revised and revised. I let things “sit” before doing a final editing. I read award-winning books, trying to absorb by osmosis how these writers created imaginary worlds.

I wasn’t satisfied to be a good writer–not even a published writer. I wanted to be–tried hard to be–an excellent writer. I was rewarded, I think, when my earliest books won awards, landed on many children’s choice lists, and went into paperback and foreign editions. I have never done more satisfying writing in my life.

Exchanging Excellence for Rushed Writing

But when we turn professional (i.e. begin selling), the emphasis often shifts from sharing our stories and passions with the world to selling the next manuscript, or writing faster, or finding an agent.

Unfortunately, this shift often changes our priorities. Instead of telling a story with excellence, instead of writing an article based on in-depth research, we may subtly ease up on ourselves. Perhaps we don’t do quite as much research. (After all, we only use about 30% of what we unearth anyway.) We write briefer character sketches because (a) they’re too time-consuming, (b) we need to get to the real writing, and (c) less than half the details in those profiles make it into the finished manuscript.

Speed becomes an issue. We read books on writing faster, making more money per hour, finding hot topics. We don’t take time to revise and get critiques and revise some more. Sometimes we can’t, if we’ve become over-committed or we quit our day job to write full-time.

With many projects and deadlines, you may still do acceptable work. But will it be your very best work? Nope. The “hurry hurry” shows, and you end up with books you’re not proud of, that get poor reviews, and that undermine your writer’s self-esteem. “Have I lost it?” you wonder in private. No, you haven’t. But when you rush, the writing suffers. It can’t help it. And your desire to write diminishes.

Deeper Solutions

What can you do about this spiral? Can you get back the passion for your writing that comes from a commitment to excellence? Yes, I believe you can, but it may require overhauling your entire life. Having an excellent writing life is part of leading a life of excellence–period. Writing is only one part of your life.

As I remembered the early years of my writing, I realized that not only had I pursued my writing with passion, I had (in spite of many struggles) pursued excellence throughout my life. My four kids were read to, played with, well taken care of. My house was clean, I cooked nutritious meals from scratch, kept a tidy (huge) vegetable garden, and taught classes at church. I even quilted and created homemade Christmas presents.

A few years ago, I took a hard look at myself. Boy, had I slipped! My husband and I only ate really healthy meals about half the time. My office was often cluttered and dusty. My small flower garden had more weeds than flowers, and I hadn’t quilted in ten years. I had stopped running, but hadn’t replaced it with anything else aerobic. I wasn’t pursuing excellence in any area of my life really. Acceptance of mediocrity–and the dissatisfaction that accompanies it–had settled in.

Back in the Saddle Again…

I decided to clean up my life that week. I started with small changes, but changes toward excellence again. I cooked nutritious meals and froze a week’s worth for convenience. I scoured the house and weeded the flower beds. I sorted, filed, then dumped my piles of “stuff.” My office gleamed. I cleaned the junk off the treadmill and put it to use.

And there was an odd side benefit. When it was time to write, I found my standards had gone up. I took more pains with my writing: doing the daily exercises, keeping a notebook again, nurturing the muse, ignoring hot topics and returning to my own ideas and passions. As I put more effort into my work, I enjoyed it more. As I enjoyed it more, I worked even harder. Momentum built as I grew excited about my writing again. I relearned an old truth: being stretched and challenged renews our passion for our writing.

Living–and Writing–at a Higher Level

A “call to excellence” will look different for each of us. Strive to live an excellent life, not just one where you get by. If you have a day job, arrive on time, work hard, and take care of your personal business elsewhere. Pay your bills on time. Lose that 20 pounds you gained when you had your last baby (who’s now in junior high) or when you stopped playing touch football with the guys on weekends. Cut down on your TV time; watch programs that nourish your mind and spirit. Get exercise and fresh air. Keep commitments and promises, even if you regret having made them.

Believe it or not, deciding to live an excellent life will translate into living an excellent writer’s life too. You–and your readers–deserve that. Don’t settle for less.

Regaining Your Love of Writing

Published on by Kristi Holl

Before my three-month sabbatical started, I printed out a few articles that struck a chord and that I wanted to take time to ponder. One such article was “When the Thrill is Gone.”

Here’s a bit of what it said, and I hope you’ll read the whole article.

In recent weeks, I have had conversations with a genuinely startling number of writers who confess that they have lost their hunger to write. One says he is weary of the struggle to publish; another says she’s lost her motivation; another just shrugs. “It’s hard.”

Some wonder if they ever had any talent to begin with, or maybe they did and it has dried up like last year’s clover. Some have lost hope of ever landing that longed-for contract or agent to help with the overwhelming business of publishing. Others have dived into indie publishing with great hope only to discover it’s a lot of work for little return.

The thrill is gone. Maybe it’s time to throw in the towel, get a divorce from this ridiculous passion, call it quits on a marriage no one but you ever thought was going to amount to anything.

The author of the article, Barbara O’Neal, was so right when she said this could be caused by a number of different things-–but it isn’t the writing. 

So What Causes It?

She mentioned several causes, and if you feel like you’ve lost your love of writing, they are worth exploring:

  • exhaustion from various aspects of your writing career added to stress from life experiences
  • internal and external pressure (from our own expectations and expectations of others in our writing life)

On Friday, after you’ve had a chance to read her article and do some thinking about it, I’ll share with you some of things I discovered about my own loss of joy in writing–and how it came back.

The author gives a five-step process for recovering your love of writing, and I think it would be worth your time to print out her whole article. If you don’t need it today, you will need it sometime in the future. Life happens. Exhaustion and pressure happen. And writing dreams–and the love of writing which propels us forward–can die on the vine.

Don’t let that happen to you.

"They Say…" Writing Advice

Published on by Kristi Holl

I hope you new writers question everything “they say” you have to do to succeed. That includes any advice I might give on this blog.

Thirty years ago “they said” a new writer had to find a way to get to New York and meet the editors face to face if she wanted to sell a book. I had four small children and couldn’t afford that, but still got in “over the transom” to be fished out of the slush pile. I didn’t meet my editor face to face until I had done seven novels with her–and someone else paid for a business trip to NY.

Over thirty years, I’ve had 44 books published by various traditional publishers. Today “they say” you must attend conferences to meet editors face to face and increase  your chances of selling to them. I have met some lovely editors and agents at conferences I both attended and spoke at. I’ve paid for critiques with some of them. However, I’ve never sold anything that way.

Don’t Get Me Wrong

I’m not saying to avoid conferences or trips or critique groups or social networking or anything else “they say” you must do to succeed. There is some wisdom in all that advice. But does it all apply to YOU? No one else can tell you that.

This week I am taking some time to re-think a few writerly things I’ve been doing that “they say” are so important for writers to succeed in the digital age. Some things I will keep doing. Some, I suspect, I will drop.

Real Writing Advice

Some writerly advice never changes though. If you want some wise advice for writing success, read “Rules for Writing and Life” by Jane Resh Thomas.

Retreat Time: Is It Possible?

Published on by Kristi Holl

While recovering from an illness I picked up simply (I believe) from being exhausted, I was going through my favorite writing books.

One caught my eye and created an instant longing: The Writer’s Retreat Kit: A Guide for Creative Exploration and Personal Expression by Judy Reeves. It’s like a writer’s retreat in a box, with ideas for one-hour retreats, half-day retreats, weekend retreats and longer. They can be retreats at home or far away.

Retreat: a Definition

Among other things, the author wrote:

A writing retreat isn’t just about the time spent writing. Perhaps equally important as the time spent writing is the time given over to nourishment… For many writers, a retreat is a time for reconnecting with nature, for long walks in quiet woods or beside a restless seashore, for rowing on a lake or canoeing on a river. We long for a soundtrack of birdsong or trickling creek, for the lazy sway of a hammock beneath a shading tree, for a rocking chair on a generous porch, mint tea, a glass of wine or fresh, sweet water within reach. We want someone to bring us lunch. A retreat is a quiet place (except for the birds or maybe the profound purring of cat on lap), and when the time is right and good and when we are ready, it is writing.

Since I have met all five writing deadlines (some book length, some not), I am seriously considering giving myself the “gift of time” that such a retreat would take.

Pressure to Write

I’ve only gone on one writing retreat, and during that time, I felt the pressure to write continually. I had no one to cook for, no Internet connection, no one needing me for anything. It wouldn’t be like that when I returned home, so I felt much pressure to write, write, write!

But oh! A retreat without pressure or guilt? Wouldn’t that be heavenly? It wouldn’t have to be expensive–or even cost anything at all. I live near a pond and greenbelt area to walk in, I have a porch with a swing and three rockers, and I can fix the tea.

It’s the time that will cost me–time away from people and expectations and deadlines. It would be having the guts to say “no, I can’t,” when I’m home and free. Right now, I can barely fathom what it would feel like to retreat like this and not write until I really felt called back to it.

But oh! What an idea! I think I’m going to take a serious look at my calendar!

Writing–and Writers–That Last

Published on by Kristi Holl

I’ve been watching Walton’s re-runs since the recent death of Ralph Waite. (He was the father of the Waltons.) So for you Waltons fans, here is a re-run of a post done after visiting Walton’s Mountain, VA…and what I learned about writers there.

I’m going to reveal my age here–I was born the same year as John-Boy Walton. I loved the Walton family, I own all ten seasons of their show, all the specials, and a few books about them.

So when our plane was overbooked and we didn’t get on our overseas flight, we drove from Baltimore to Norfolk, VA, to catch a plane flying out of the Naval Base there. We had four days to relax and read. I was looking at a map of Virginia when suddenly the words “Walton’s Mountain Museum” leaped out at me.

Forty Years Ago!

There it was! Right in the Blue Ridge Mountains, very near Rockfish. The Museum was in Schuyler, the small town where Earl Hamner, Jr. (creator of the Waltons) grew up. The drive took longer than expected, and we very nearly didn’t get there on time to see the 30-minute video before going through the museum. I was entranced, enthralled…

This was my favorite family during their ten-year run on TV. They were considered a goody-goody kind of show. When they were put on the air in September (’73, I think), they were in the same time slot as Flip Wilson’s comedy show and “The Mod Squad.” Earl Hamner said they didn’t think the series had a prayer against those two popular shows–but by Christmas just three months later, “The Waltons” was #1. They remained popular for ten years.

Write What You Know

I always love to see the homes of writers. The Hamner home on a steep hillside (above) was modest for a family that included eight children. The country store sits on the spot where Earl Hamner, Jr. had a writing shed. The church they attended was just around the corner on the country road. We passed several logging trucks and loggers at work as we neared Schuyler–everything very “Walton.”

Whether you loved the Waltons or not, as writers it’s worth thinking about its popularity at a time that everything was “mod” and becoming irreverent. Earl Hamner, Jr. tapped into something that spoke to people. First his books, and then the shows made from his books. How did he do it? He followed the advice of “write what you know.”

Writing That Connects

He studied people–and what made them tick. He knew specific details: the birds, the trees, the wildflowers on the mountain.

He observed dynamics between people and got to the heart of what made a common man heroic. He wrote and rewrote and rewrote some more.

[NOTE: Hamner is 90 now and lives in California, but you can still buy his autographed books at his boyhood home.]

I left the mountain inspired.

[Leave a comment if you were/are a Walton’s fan!]