Preparing to Write

In Writing as a Way of Healing, author Louise De Salvo, Ph.D. delineates seven different stages of the creative process—and warns how we can derail our entire writing process with certain behaviors at each stage.

“For our writing to be healing,” Louise says, “it’s important for us to understand that there are different stages of the writing process, and different challenges at each stage.” It’s important to be able to write in a healing way, without undue anxiety. “I’ve come to understand,” Louise says, “that the most healing way of approaching the writing process is to focus upon the potential and possibilities for growth rather than upon its problems and pitfalls.”

Predictable Stages with Predictable Problems

Ms. De Salvo talks about seven predictable stages we pass through with each creative project. While sometimes stages can overlap, they are distinct stages with separate challenges—and they hold different opportunities for us to grow as writers.

The seven stages are:

  • the preparation stage
  • the germination stage
  • the working stage
  • the deepening stage
  • the shaping stage
  • the completion stage
  • the going-public stage

The preparation stage (the subject of today’s blog) comes first. This is when puzzling ideas and odd images and snippets of conversation drift in and out of our dreams and musings. We wonder what they mean, and we’re intrigued. At some point we stop musing and begin to put things down on paper, trying to organize our thoughts, figuring out what genre or literary form we want to use and possible viewpoints. “Beginning writers,” says de Salvo, “often spend far too little or far too much time at this stage; some avoid it altogether and plunge right into working, which can derail our process.”

Sabotage at Stage One

How do writers sabotage themselves during the preparation stage? Several ways. One big way is by not writing down those fleeting thoughts we have at odd times. It’s not so much that we think we’ll remember those thoughts later. It’s more because the thought seemed rather silly, certainly insubstantial. We decide at some level that the idea just isn’t big enough to warrant attention—and so it’s lost.

On the other hand, you may take this initial stage so seriously that you shut down. You may expect too much of yourself, thinking that if you were a “real writer,” you’d have a plan! You’d know where all these odd bits and pieces floating around your head belong. You expect the images and musings to fit into a pattern much too soon, and this kind of pressure can give you a lovely writer’s block before you ever get started.

Tips for Stage One

In this preparation stage, in order to get the most out of it, give yourself permission to think and make note of trivial thoughts. Write down everything, no matter how unconnected it might seem to anything you want to write. Eventually, these odd bits and pieces may start making connections and spark other ideas that will be more useful or substantial.

Learn to enjoy this stage! Force yourself, if you’re a Type A organizational freak like me, to let your brain slowly release ideas to you. Don’t force connections immediately. Don’t try to make each snippet “mean something.” Let it happen for a while. For quite a while, actually. Remember, you’re just in the preparation stage.

Blog posts during the next two weeks will cover the remaining stages of the writing process, both the setbacks and the tips for navigating that stage successfully!

Forget About Age

“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?”  –Satchel Paige

Two writers in the past month mentioned that they were probably too old to start writing. One had waited till her last child had graduated. Another had waited until he retired.

I’d like to debunk that “I’m too old” myth. It’s never too late to get started! It’s always a good time to tackle a new dream.

Jessica Tandy won the Academy Award for Best Actress at age eighty. James Michener didn’t write his first novel until age forty-two, then produced a gazillion bestsellers before he died at age ninety. There’s a woman in my neighborhood who can out-run me, and she’s at least seventy-five now. Youth isn’t everything–not in physical endeavors, nor mental ones.

Experience Rules!

Become comfortable with your current age, even if it’s not what you wish it were. You have tremendous writing potential because you’ve lived long enough to have learned a lot. You have life experience!

For example, years ago I had an elderly student (70’s) who wrote beautiful historical fiction lifted straight out of her childhood–a la Laura Ingalls Wilder. She loved doing it! She didn’t have to do any research, yet her descriptions were superb and rich with detail because she drew on her personal experiences.

Time’s a Wastin’

If writing and publishing are aspirations for you–but you’ve come to it later in life than others–please don’t let that stop you. If you come to the end of your life, will you be disappointed that you didn’t try? I think you will.

You have the same qualities that drive younger writers: creativity,  perseverance, and a passion to succeed. You may not have as much energy, but you probably have a much larger pool of ideas and experiences to draw from. Don’t be afraid to start something new at any stage of life. Chances are good that, if you apply yourself like any other writer, it’s not too late to succeed.

Writing During Summer Travels

Summer is just around the corner. And for many writers, that means traveling to see family and taking vacations while trying to meet deadlines.

Consistent writing may be a necessity during the summer. Can writing and traveling co-exist? Yes, quite happily, but only if you think and plan ahead.

Paved with Good Intentions

We may have the best intentions of writing on trips, but usually we return home with little or nothing accomplished. Since most writers don’t have the luxury of paid vacations—and deadlines approach regardless of summer holiday travel—we need practical ways to squeeze in writing while we journey to see family and friends. It can be done, and without offending anyone or missing out on the festivities. If you plan to hit the road or airways this summer, give these ideas a try.

First, you have to find the time to write. When you first peruse your travel schedule, you may feel convinced that there simply won’t be any time available for your writing. You may have activities planned (or planned for you) that don’t seem to show any gaps of free time. If so, look again.

What about when you check into your motel? Avoid turning on the TV for “company” or to check the local news and weather. Instead, unpack your writing supplies, clean the fly­ers and TV program listings off the desk, and set up an instant office. If you’re staying at someone’s house, make up your mind to write while others watch TV or snooze after a big family dinner.

You can easily find time to write on planes. Just skip watching the movie, ignore the head phones, and leave the in-flight magazines unread. Instead, write longhand or on a laptop on your drop-down table. You can also find time to write on buses and in taxis during long shuttle trips to and from airports. Time spent waiting in airports provides other opportunities to work, whether “people-watching” and jotting notes for your character files or writing longhand while perched on your pile of luggage.

Second, you need places to write. Workplaces for the traveling writer are even easier to find. Depending on the location of your trip, you may find yourself writing on a bench in the mall or at a backyard picnic table at a relative’s home. If your group is staying in a motel, you can write at a table by the pool or sneak down to the lobby and find a comfortable chair behind a potted plant for half an hour. You can write in public libraries. While others in your party shop at the mall, you can write in bookstores that provide chairs and tables. If you’ve planned a day at the beach, try writing while you tan instead of reading or listening to music.

Other places to write on the road include diners, lunch counters, delis, and coffee shops. And don’t forget your bed! Pile up pillows behind your back and grab your notebook or laptop. You can write first thing in the morning if you’re a guest in someone’s home—just let them think you’re sleeping late. Or write in bed before you go to sleep. At first it might not seem like much, but a half hour or full hour of writing can produce more work than we think.

Writing When Traveling: Think Ahead

If your holiday schedule will include traveling, yet you need or want to keep writing while on the road, do some pre-planning before leaving home. Adjust your mind-set ahead of time as well.

Be alert to unexpected changes in your travel plans and grab some impromptu writing sessions. Keep your writing tools handy in order to take advantage of these opportunities to write during your day. Be deter­mined to write in whatever chunks of time you find. If you want to travel, but you also need to work, this is one way to have your cake and eat it too!

Writing after Major Losses

After I’d been publishing for a number of years, I had an eight-year period where major personal and professional losses piled on each other.

During this time, I had four surgeries in thirteen months and took on extra work to pay medical bills. Our teenage adopted child was having severe emotional problems, I went through a divorce, moved twice, remarried, and survived a blended family’s three custody battles. Then came the corporate publishing take-over when my eleven books went out of print. 

Block or Burn-Out?

At that point, I could no longer write; no “Ten Tips for Overcoming Writer’s Block” would help me. The common advice was of no use:  “Just retype the last page of your previous day’s work and you’ll be off and running.” There wasn’t any previous day’s work … or previous month’s either.

I had symptoms of “writer’s burn-out”: by-products of prolonged stress. It can be treated. Each symptom stifles a writer’s creativity in a specific way and needs a specific remedy.

Symptoms

FIRST, my buried feelings refused to come to the surface. I felt like a robot trying to write. My heroine’s impassioned speeches were stilted and wooden. Plots I hatched were so worn they were threadbare. This was because during a crisis we get rigid control over our feelings. We have to in order to deal with things. Over many months, feelings “under control” become “frozen feelings.” This numbing out spells disaster for writers because we rely on emotions to bring characters and conflict to life.

A SECOND symptom concerns your self-image. During stress, self-esteem takes a plunge. To write best, we need to feel good about ourselves. Long-term crises (divorce, child in trouble, job loss) deal heavy blows to even a healthy self-esteem. It leads to increased fears of criticism. How does that affect you as a writer? Even in the best of times, negative reviews and rejected manuscripts are tough to handle. When emotional resources are shot, normal parts of a writer’s life become impossible hurdles, and we become fearful of trying any new project.

THIRD, after prolonged stress, we often are no longer able to unwind. To create, we need a relaxed, “loosened” state of mind. During long-term stress, because of the extraordinary need for tight control of our feelings and behavior, we become rigid and lose our ability to relax that control when the need passes. Always having “everything tightly under control” leaves a writer too rigid to produce a decent rough draft.

Solutions

There are some antidotes to thaw your frozen feelings and restore your confidence. They’re simple–but effective.

FIRST, tackle your “frozen feelings.” Pay attention to yourself, learn again to identify emotions. You’ve probably been so centered on others for months that you lose touch with how you actually feel. Get re-acquainted with yourself. A simple journal of daily events and the feelings aroused can be very helpful. Sample journal entries:  “When John criticized me at lunch I was so furious that my hands shook” or “That meeting with the attorney left me feeling anxious, as if I’d somehow lost his approval.” Identify and record those feelings. Try writing out your prayers and tell God how you feel too.

SECOND, work on your self-esteem. Lost self-confidence is sometimes tied to isolation that sets in during periods of long-term stress. We don’t feel up to seeing people. It’s easy to retreat within our own four walls; writers don’t even have to leave the house to go to work. We tend to get locked into our homes during high-stress periods. Your office begins to resemble a prison. Even in public, we isolate ourselves from others by “putting on a happy face.” To rebuild self-confidence, break your self-imposed isolation. Walk to the park, putter around a museum, take an adult ed class, go to the movies with a friend, and talk to a counselor.  Get out.

THIRD, give yourself permission to relax. Let go of those around you. After living with out-of-control situations, giving up control can seem terrifying. However, giving up the rigid control will probably be necessary if you’re to be a productive writer again. Our best work–our most creative–comes from us when we’re in those relaxed states of mind.

All Healed Now?

Suppose you’ve come this far. You’re now in touch with your feelings, you’ve come out of isolation, and you’re letting other people live their lives while you get on with yours.

Does the writing now flow automatically? Unfortunately, no.

The final task is to coax your creativity out of hiding. It’s not really gone–just merely in hibernation. Often it’s just a matter of changing course, being creative in another area of your life for a time. So try another creative outlet. Each person’s choice will be different. For me, flower gardening and quilting did the trick. Just start small (not some big formal garden or king-sized quilt for a wedding.) You need a no-pressure project.

I planted two tiny plots of petunias and impatiens. I stitched individual quilt squares for wall hangings and table coverings. These were small projects that I worked on for ten or fifteen minutes at a time. Slowly, over time, as I stitched and hoed and prayed, my mind’s rusty gears started to turn. It wasn’t long before my quilting and gardening time produced more story ideas than flowers or wall decorations, and my burn-out was a thing of the past.

Writing Through Relationship Struggles

Do these scenarios sound at all familiar? (They all happened to writers I know.)

  • You’re writing your first picture book, but your husband is jealous of your time at the typewriter and won’t speak to you at supper. (I know this sounds childish, but it happens fairly often.)
  • Or your wife reads your book and asks you what makes you think you’re a writer. (These struggles are not gender-specific.)
  • Or you’re struggling to write, but your recent marital separation has left you too depressed and exhausted to concentrate.
  • Or your wife gained fifty pounds to protest how much time you spend writing. (Yes, this actually happened to a writer friend.)

How to Keep Writing

Many talented writers lose confidence and lay aside their writing dreams because of marital problems. THIS ISN’T NECESSARY. However, it does require you to fall back and regroup when you have an unsupportive spouse, whether this person is just mildly irritated with you or has filed for divorce.

*First, develop faith in yourself. Rather than looking for outside support, look inside. The decision to write is made–and carried out–alone. Then write daily, even if just a journal entry. Nothing–no matter how long you write or how much you are published–builds faith faster that you’re a real writer than the physical act of writing every day.

*Create an outside support system. For me, this starts with God and prayer. Also join or form a writers’ group that can offer you encouragement. Attend writers’ conferences to hear inspirational speakers. Clip or photocopy encouraging articles from The Writer and Writer’s Digest to re-read when needed. I have a six-inch thick file of such articles.

*Change your writing time. When I worked at the dental office during my separation, I wrote for an hour before work and during my lunch hour, a totally different writing schedule for me, but the break in routine was effective.

*Change your surroundings. Our surroundings hold memories. And when they’re bad memories, they stifle our creativity. So change your place of writing. Work in the library or another room in the house.

*Just write. Writing won’t necessarily banish depression, but depression doesn’t have to banish the writing either. Don’t wait until you feel happy to write.  Just keep writing. Don’t edit at this point–nothing sounds good when you’re depressed. Write instead. Journal. Write out your prayers if praying is difficult at this time. (A helpful resource is Writing for Emotional Balance: A Guided Journal to Help You Manage Overwhelming Emotions by Beth Jacobs.)

Relationship struggles happen to most people eventually. It doesn’t have to mean the end of your writing. Take specific steps to keep putting one writing foot in front of the other. You want to have a career left when the dust settles–and you can.

Writing Through the Storms

Writing well requires an enormous amount of concentration and energy, plus a decent dose of self-confidence and courage. It’s not like making widgets on an assembly line, where your mind can wander while your hands stay busy producing.

For that reason, even “normal” amounts of stress can freeze your writing fingers. (“Normal” meaning those stresses that come to us all at times: sick children, rocky marriages, financial problems, etc.) 

Survival Strategies

To write during “normal” stressful times, try these things to get going:

First, inventory your life experiences to create a list of topics to write about. When burned out, or you feel stumped for something to write about, ask yourself questions like, “What has bugged me that I’ve been able to handle effectively?” or “What have I learned from this experience?” From this come articles that make a difference in people’s lives–whether it’s teaching them the healing power of laughter or just helping them to decorate on a shoestring.

Then make an inventory of your life experiences. (My Writer’s First Aid book has a section called “Getting to Know You” which gives you such an inventory to use.) What have you learned in the school of hard knocks? As writer Marshall Cook said, “You have a great pool of living to dip into for your writing. You’ve met scores of different people. You’ve been scores of different people.”  Use that!

Second, switch from output goals to time goals. At least for a while, switch from a set number of pages a day to hours spent writing. (“I will write for one hour;” not “I will produce five pages.”) Skip the daily quota pressure until life settles down. (Or skip it altogether, as I ended up doing.)

Third, schedule your writing time, but be flexible. Sounds contradictory, but it’s not. Do schedule writing time, as usual. Strive to keep that appointment, no matter what else is going on in your life.

But be flexible: if your time is taken by a bedridden father or an emergency call from your daughter’s school, attend to the urgent event, but carve out the writing time later in the day, even if it’s in three or four smaller pieces. Overcome the tendency to think, “My writing time is shot today–I’ll try again tomorrow.”

Fourth, develop a specialty. In stressful times, you often become an expert on your situation. Over the years, I’ve collected extensive libraries on personal recovery, remarriage, writing, quilting, the Civil War, England, and devotional books. You probably have your own collections.

Capitalize on the information you’ve absorbed. Do more research, and slant ideas many ways: for fiction and nonfiction, for children and adults. (Example: if you provide care for a bedridden father, you might write an inspirational piece for Guideposts on having the strength and patience to do it; or a how-to piece for a family magazine on finding the best home health care for an invalid; or a children’s article on how to make visits to elderly grandparents a joy to both child and grandparent; or a middle-grade fiction book on living with a bedridden grandparent.)

Fifth, be yourself. Use your life experiences to express your unique vision of the world and insights into life. Those insights become your style, that special something that is yours alone-voice.

Keep On Keeping On

Be aware that all writers–both the famous and the not-so-famous–deal with stress. They find ways to do this and keep writing–often incorporating those very experiences into their work. Writers write–and not just when the days are easy. We’re like postal workers–pushing on through rain, and snow, and sleet, and dark of night…

You’re not alone in finding it difficult to write some days. But when the dark days pass, you’ll be very glad you continued to work even when it was hard. When the sun comes out again, you’ll be thankful that you spent that time growing as a writer. Then it will be full-steam ahead!

Mixing Writing & Adult Children

Keeping with our Mother’s Day theme of combining writing with raising children (Hats Off to Mom WritersCombine Babies and Bylines,Combining Writing and School-Age Kids, Writing During the Teen Years), let’s talk about writing when you have college kids and grown children (plus grandchildren). Again, your writing skills need flexibility!

(with granddaughter, Abby, at a book sale)

Déjà Vu

Just when your days (or evenings and weekends) are blissfully free to write, your college-age children are home for the summer. They turn your precise schedule upside down. They also provide such a temptation to sit and chat and go shopping, etc. Or maybe your adult child moves back home, perhaps with small children. Here are some ways to deal with those situations:

*Don’t abandon your schedule! These people aren’t company or house guests. For the time being, they are simply living with you. Your life doesn’t need to revolve around them. Keep to your schedule.

*Deal with possible interruptions ahead of time. Say something like this to them: “I start work early, but help yourselves to the eggs and juice in the fridge.” Don’t wait on them hand and foot. Resist the urge to clean up their messes in the kitchen and living room until your writing time is finished.

*If your writing room is needed for sleeping space, turn a corner of your bedroom into a temporary study. Have a place where you can close the door and write. During this parenting time, you might write a story for a children’s magazine called “Moving to Grandma’s House.” Or perhaps you’ll share your insight with other grandparents in an article called “Mothering Your Grandchildren.”

*Resist the urge to take over the parenting if you’re not providing childcare. I find it much harder to say “Nana has to work” than I did “Mommy needs to work.” If my kids (with the grandkids) ever lived with me even temporarily, it would be hard for me to keep remembering that I’m not the grandkids’ mother, nor their entertainment committee. My daughters wouldn’t expect it–it’s just something Nanas seem to do!

As with all the other phases of parenting, you can continue to write as children leave home, come back for visits, move back in, and/or bring grandchildren. I started writing when my children were 5, 2 and 10 days old. I now write and mix in the four grandchildren who live close by: 12, 9, 4 and 1. My family will always come first, but there’s room for writing too! You just need to learn the tricks of the trade for each stage.

Writing During the Teen Years

Keeping with our Mother’s Day theme of combining writing with raising children (Hats Off to Mom WritersCombine Babies and Bylines, Combining Writing and School-Age Kids), let’s talk about writing during the teen years–and the skills it will entail.

The main challenge at this time is keeping (and constantly regaining) your sanity! Even normally active teens can leave a parent hyper, worried, deaf, and frustrated: not a state conducive to your best writing. Teens in ongoing trouble can just about finish you off. I discovered Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way during a few years of having one teen in a serious situation. I think that book was instrumental in saving my career.

Surviving and Thriving with Teens

Over the years, I discovered some helpful tips for writing with teens in the house…

*Use ear plugs and white noise machines.  Find soft foam ear plugs, like miniature marshmallows. Ear plugs block out stereos, giggling girls, phones ringing, and TV. You can buy white noise machines in the baby departments of most stores.

*Adjust your schedule–because the kids won’t/can’t adjust theirs. On weekends I waited up to ensure each child got home safely from part-time jobs and dates. I used to doze by the TV and then was too tired to write in the morning, which I resented. So, despite the difficulty making the switch, I started writing from ten to midnight on weekends. Then I would sleep late the next morning without guilt.

*Teenagers’ roughest times (drugs/drinking, pregnancies, school problems) can come close to derailing an author’s ability to write creatively. These problems last for months–or years–and can be a source of major writer’s block. If this is your situation, throughout the day try some free-flowing ten-minute writing exercises to unblock, writing about whatever you’re feeling. Just keep writing–anything. Keep the words flowing during these high-stress times so your ability to write is intact when the crisis finally passes.

Some of those ten-minute segments may later provide you with story/article ideas for teens or parents. Perhaps, with teens underfoot, you’ll write a nonfiction book for parents like my favorite self-help title: Get Out of My Life But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall? Is there any doubt that this author merged raising kids with his writing?

Combining Writing and School-Age Kids

Yesterday we talked about how to Combine Babies and Bylines. There are challenges galore when writing with newborns and babies in the house. At that stage, we usually daydream of that magical day when the kids will be in school and we’ll have all those uninterrupted hours to write.

Yes, it is easier to write when kids are older, but not necessarily easy. You still need ways to be there for your family while making time for quality writing.

One place I found a ton of helpful advice when I was starting out was the book above: How to be a Successful Housewife/Writer. It always helps to learn from someone who practices what they preach.

Wearing So Many Hats

Life is hectic at this time, with chauffeuring kids to baseball and ballet. You may also work full- or part-time. More demands are made on your evenings and weekends. At this stage, the key is to be flexible and disciplined.

*Write wherever/whenever you can. I finished an entire novel by writing in the orthodontist’s waiting room, bleachers during basketball practice, and the doctor’s office while my daughter got her weekly allergy shots.

*If you work outside the home, write on the bus if you commute. Use a voice activated tape recorder if you have to drive. Write during your lunch hour. One time I worked as a receptionist in a dental office to make ends meet. I took my laptop to work with me and wrote during my lunch hour–and got a surprising amount written. And there’s always pen and paper.

*Go to the library to write some evenings or weekends. Grab a few hours of peace and quiet there. (I still do that–to make myself stay off email and work!) If you can concentrate in a book store or coffee shop, take your writing there for a couple hours.

*If your days are free while your kids are in school, limit TV, Internet surfing, volunteering, and lunches out. You must CHOOSE writing and choose it first whenever possible, before other activities. When helping at your kids’ schools, volunteer for ONE activity at the beginning of the school year (e.g. help with the Christmas party) instead of becoming room mother or some job that takes many hours per month. (Remember: more than one school-age child multiplies the requests for volunteering.)

*When working at home, use an answering machine and voice mail. Kids learn to remember their own homework and lunches if you’re no longer available to run forgotten items to school.

Turn Experiences into Manuscripts

Much of my early publishing success came directly from parenting school-age kids. I wrote articles like “Telephone Safety” for Jack & Jill. I also wrote novels like The Haunting of Cabin 13 (children’s choice award winner) after camping with my school-age kids in Backbone State Park in Iowa.

Parenting school-age children doesn’t have to mean choosing between your family and your writing. Try combining them instead. This age group provides you with rich material. Make flexibility your watch word, and you’ll be able to juggle both.

My children helped me be a better writer–and writing daily helped me be a better (happier) mom!

Do Facts Equal Truth?

About ten years ago, someone said to me, “You write fiction because you can’t handle the real world.”

I was stunned by the accusation. For one thing, my fictional characters were very real to me! And I tackled real situations in my books–often based on actual events. From my childhood on, I’d learned a lot of truth about the human condition from reading fiction. In many cases, I learned more from fiction than from observing my real world.

Do Facts Equal Truth?

In Madeleine L’Engle {Herself}: Reflections on a Writing Life, the Newbery-award winner wrote about this issue “the truth of art”: “Once when I suggested to a student that he go to the encyclopedia when he wanted to look up a fact, he asked me, ‘But can’t I find truth in stories too?’ My reply: ‘Who said anything about truth? I told you to look up facts in the encyclopedia. When you’re looking for truth, then look in art, in poetry, in story, in painting and music.’ Now this student was doing no more than making the mistake of many of his elders, confusing provable fact with truth, and then fearing truth enough to try to discount it. If I want to search for the truth of the human heart, I’m more apt to go to Dostoyevsky’s Brothers Karamazov than a book on anatomy.”

I think that people who discount fiction don’t really understand it–or haven’t read much of it. They don’t grasp the power of story to carry truth. They have a bit of a superior attitude, as if reading a biography or a book on unclogging your sink has more merit than a novel.

Truth Learned in Fiction

I still have most of my favorite childhood books, and I still re-read some of them. I loved sharing them with my daughters, and I now love sharing them with my grandchildren. Some truths are universal and timeless (like the lessons on friendship learned from Charlotte’s Web.)

My all-time favorite children’s book was Little Women. I learned a lot of important truths from the March family: how to love deeply, how to grieve a loss and go on, and how to feed the imagination. (I expect the writing “bug” bit me then, as I watched Jo March toiling away in the attic over her stories.) I learned that writers wrote about what they knew, what they cared deeply about, and how to have hope.

Life Lessons

What about you? What book or two from your own childhood impacted you? What truths do you remembering learning in fiction?