writing

Spiral UP? Or spiral DOWN? Your choice!

Published on by Kristi Holl

For over a year, I’ve been dealing with three difficult circumstances that impacted everything, causing one downward spiral after another. Since I tend to handle things privately, I disappeared from social media. 

But this fall, I felt the urge to get back to thriving instead of simply surviving.

Easy to say, but hard to do!

Self-Examination

I had picked up some escapist survival habits that were more engrained than I first believed. I had great intentions at the beginning of the day; however, failure to follow through happened with regularity (like many times daily). One or two poor choices flipped me into that excuse of “I’ve ruined today, so I’ll start again tomorrow.”

I don’t think I’ve had a perfect day yet where I made good eating choices, writing choices, and relationship choices without fail. And my lightning quick brain finally realized perfection wasn’t EVER going to be possible. Not this side of heaven anyway. But I finally learned something critical that improved every area that needed healing:

Every poor choice is the beginning of a spiral. Like a circular staircase, you can either spiral up or down. You always have two options, and you get to choose.”

Spiral Down Fast

Each day contains at least one poor choice we make. (Often it is several.) A poor choice is one that doesn’t fit your goals. It could be a writing goal, a health goal, a time management goal, or a relationship goal.

A poor choice could be

  • scrolling social media during your writing time,
  • eating two sugary donuts,
  • binge watching TV till midnight, or
  • snapping at your child.

Your first poor choice is your critical choice moment. 

You can make a poor choice and SPIRAL DOWNWARD FAST. Imagine yourself at the top of this twisty slide. One push, and down you go, around and around until you hit bottom.

Practically speaking, what might that look like?

  • You can decide that the day is already ruined when you eat a donut for breakfast. So, you eat junk food and sugar bombs the rest of the day.
  • You feel guilty, so you add binge watching a favorite TV series until you are blotto.
  • You put away your manuscript again to tend to your headache, and
  • give the obstinate child the silent treatment for good measure.

Choice #2: Spiral Up (Slowly but Steadily)

On the other hand, you can make THE VERY SAME POOR CHOICE, then decide to SPIRAL UP SLOWLY, STEP BY TINY STEP, instead. 

You can stop the downward trajectory immediately by taking a small step UP.

  • After your donut, you might brush your teeth or plan a healthy lunch.
  • You might close all the live streaming tabs on your laptop.
  • You might turn to where you left off during your last writing session and re-read the page.
  • You might apologize to the child and hold her on your lap for a minute.
  • You might take a slow, five-minute walk to interrupt your negative thinking.

Continual Choices

Yes, the upward spiral is a slower path, but it’s a steady path of growth. The steps up don’t have to be big at all. And you can take lots of pauses to refresh with a stretch or walk around the yard or enjoy some planned treat with a favorite book.

The downward spiral that comes with several poor choices is a slippery, speedy easy path that comes with a hard landing. But even then, it’s not all over.

Pick yourself up at the bottom of the slide. Choose the upward spiral staircase right away, and just focus on the smallest step right in front of you. And after a pause, when you’re ready, take another step up. And eventually another. 

Every single poor choice throughout your week is just the beginning of a spiral. But whether you spiral up or down is entirely up to you. It really is. Pause. Relax. Breathe deeply. (And if you’re like me, pray for help.)

REMEMBER: the poor choice is the first step in both sequences. The direction (of your day, your week, and ultimately your life) is your CHOICE.

 

At home with C. S. Lewis…in Oxford!

Published on by Kristi Holl
Jack’s desk upstairs

Last week I got to fulfill a big dream of mine by attending a week-long summer seminar at The Kilns, the home of C. S. Lewis just outside of Oxford in the UK. There were 14 students, and we were together from breakfast till late every night, learning about Jack, his life, his family, his books, his ministries, his war years, his impact on the Christian world…

Our group: 14 students, 2 teachers, our driver, and two guests (ages 96 and 100) who both knew C.S. Lewis personally and told the BEST stories!

Our two teachers were excellent, and the discussions were fascinating (whether at the Kilns, or on walks around Oxford and Cambridge where Jack taught, or on paths by the river, or in pubs for great food or the gardens outside having tea, or after worshipping in Jack’s church, or visiting his grave–as well as Tolkien’s and Churchill’s…)

Well, I can’t describe the magic. It was eight full days of being with kindred souls, and sometimes you felt you JUST MIGHT meet C.S. Lewis coming down the stairs, or sitting in his favorite “smoke a pipe” spot by his pond, or fixing a “cuppa” (tea) in the kitchen, or writing at his smaller upstairs desk. I took hundreds of photos, but here are a few.
Some of the nicest people I’ve ever met!
common room
Looking out on the garden from common room
Side door; stairs above me go up to Jack’s bedroom.
Tea or supper in the garden was heavenly. So many flowers blooming everywhere…and no mosquitoes! Doors and windows were left open with no screens!
Jack’s and Warnie’s (older brother Warren) grave. (I saw graves with up to 7 people buried in one spot.)
The “Narnia window” in the church Jack attended. We worshipped there on Sunday. Lovely service.
Magdalen (pronounced Maud-lun) College at Oxford, where Jack taught. His rooms were on the second floor in the middle.
Chapel at Oxford University
College rooms at Oxford
Famous icon in Oxford if you watch Masterpiece Theater on PBS. “Morse,” “Lewis,” and “Endeavor” were all set here.
Central Oxford
Chapel at Magdalen College
Dining hall at Oxford
One of my favorite pubs…all those books!
Another great pub…many of the pubs had outdoor areas to linger and talk.
Churchill’s favorite pub

 

Outside Churchill’s parish church
After Oxford, Jack taught at Cambridge University (Magdalene College).
Cambridge classrooms
Cambridge chapel
Inspiration for “The Hobbit”
Punts on the river were flat-bottomed boats propelled along very quietly by someone with a long pole.
A Cambridge church over 1,000 years old!
Many swans throughout the UK. For seventy years, they were “The Queen’s Swans.” Now they belong to the King, and you do NOT touch!
A “crazy American” built this (according to a shopkeeper.) So glad America contributed to Oxford’s culture..ha!

Stop Adding, and Try Subtracting!

Published on by Kristi Holl

I woke up feeling sick today, and it is my own fault. I ate both gluten and sugar yesterday, and a lot of it, which is a no-no if I want to feel well.

My writing to-do list was daunting, and while I wanted to make great strides ahead today, I just didn’t have the oomph. 

Then I remembered something my favorite habits guy, James Clear, said in his article, To Make Big Gains, Avoid Tiny Losses.”

In many cases, improvement is not about doing more things right, but about doing less things wrong… Improvement by addition is focused on doing more of what does work. Improvement by subtraction is focused on doing less of what doesn’t work.

Best Choice Today!

I’m too “under the weather” today to improve by ADDING more to my plate: not write faster, or write a longer period of time, or read a productivity book. Today I’m going to improve by SUBTRACTING things that don’t work: poor food choices, binge watching a show, and checking email every five minutes. Can I really make writing improvements that way?

[UPDATE LATER: I didn’t add various strategies in order to write more today. I simply subtracted (1) my poor food choices, (2) the presence of my phone for two hours, and (3) closed all social media tabs for the morning. And despite feeling rather rotten physically, I wrote more this morning than I have all week. Thank you, James Clear, for reminding me that there are  two paths to improvement.

Audio Day 8, May 16, England

Published on by Kristi Holl Leave a comment

Day 8, May 16, England: Fun day today! My writing morning flew by, and this afternoon I had tea and scones at a museum coffee house with another writer friend, Sarah Lister. We met at The Folly, a café within the museum. I’m attending her school presentation tomorrow at the local church graveyard.

Those kids are in for a treat!

Best gluten-free scone ever!

Sarah’s latest two books. She has been my best source of material for Book 2 in my work-in-slow-progress trilogy.

Delightful and so very funny, Sarah Lister!

 

 

 

Day 7, May 15, England

Published on by Kristi Holl

I did more writing than walking today.

However, even on short walks, there are things to see!

 

(Delicate purple flowers growing out of the drystone wall)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yum! If I were home, I’d make a little pie.

White lilac (more a tree than a bush), but oh! the scent!

a toy store decked out for last week’s coronation, complete with a photo op golden carriage at the bottom and the royal family at the upper window

I will never, ever, ever get tired of this view!

 

 

 

Day 5, May 13, England

Published on by Kristi Holl
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I walked to the train station this afternoon. It was 65 and sunny, and I never saw so many people walking around with ice cream cones.

A steam train was scheduled to pass through (but not stop) about 4:00.  Here are the train station, the stationmaster’s house, the old water tower and coal house (for use back when steam engines were prevalent), and the Settle signal box, which is now a fascinating museum. Enjoy!

 

Day 3, May 11, England

Published on by Kristi Holl

Day 3: my walk with Julia…

I met Julia Chapman five years ago, and she’s become a dear writing friend. This morning she took me up into the “bluebell woods” (Wharfe Woods) near the village of Austwick, where she lives.  https://www.yorkshiredales.org.uk/be-inspired/what-to-do/the-yorkshire-dales-in-spring/ We saw dozens of lambs, bluebells, wild lavender orchids, yellow cowslips, ivory primroses, wild garlic, and other wildflowers. (It’s absolutely stunning what a well-watered countryside can produce—no offense to Texas.)

From the bluebell woods:

Writers are the same on both sides of the pond, and we talked nonstop all things publishing. It was such a joy to see Julia again. Her books are for sale everywhere, including the beautiful local Limestone Books bookstore.

Stone bridge several hundred years old…

Wild lavender orchid

Primroses

A stile built of stones projecting from the drystone wall

See the little lamb behind me with its mama!

Lots and lots of little bleating lambs…my favorite thing!

Stopped in a pub/café on the way home and found this in the “loo”!

England: Day 2, May 10, 2023

Published on by Kristi Holl

I took three walks today, just to get reacquainted with the village and buy food. (England has the BEST gluten-free bread!) Photos today include a few historic buildings in the village plus the surrounding hills, limestone crags, fields with new lambs, drystone walls zigzagging uphill, and everything so GREEN! Everywhere you turn, something is blooming in flower boxes, hanging baskets, and tiny gardens. Enjoy!

Left: Gallery on the green: this phone booth has been converted into a local art gallery. I don’t know how often it changes, but at this time, it features a book by a writer/historian I know here. 

Below: Old street sign pointing to neighboring villages and the way to London! Embedded into a stone wall on what must have been a main thoroughfare several hundred years ago. 

I never get tired of this view: the stunning hills (fells, they call them), and the sheep. Lots of new lambs! [The third one is a poor sheep with its head caught in a traffic cone!]

And now…some of the flowers! 

England: Day 1, May 9, 2023

Published on by Kristi Holl

I’m back at my writer’s retreat in the Yorkshire Dales. I plan to spend my days writing, reading, sleeping, and walking (a lot).

I plan to show daily some highlights of my stay in the Yorkshire Dales. A few photos, a few notes…from a small village filled with lovely people.

Confession: I also bought ten books today–so many old bookstores here! I’m going to have a lot to mail home! I’m going to post pictures daily for the three weeks I’ll be here. Thanks for coming “with” me across the pond!

The top picture: the coronation of King Charles was this past weekend, and the village is still decorated. My favorite thing is how ladies have crocheted decorations for the tops of the mail boxes. [That’s a crown on the top.]

The view out my cottage window looking down on my tiny back garden…

Looks like pink snow! It’s a flowering cherry tree and smells heavenly.

They have hedgehog laws too for preservation.

Love their garden and lawn ornaments! The hills are filled with tiny lambs right now.

This is the back side of Falcon Manor. Looks like the manor appropriate for the Lord who used to own most of a village, but it was actually built in 1841 for a Reverend Swale with money from his two grandmothers. See here for the gorgeous front: https://www.visitsettle.co.uk/thefalconmanor.html

Time for bluebells, and they are everywhere!

Living the 5-Minute Life

Published on by Kristi Holl

I’m too old, I’m too tired, I can’t write for hours anymore… But something won’t let me quit writing! Is there a solution?

Through a lot of trial and error, I found the solution for me: the 5-Minute Life. It didn’t just revolutionize my writing. You can also break a bad habit, or start a good habit, or rest when you’re weary—all in 5-Minute slices of your day.

Solving Problems, 5 Minutes at a Time 

Want to break a habit of overeating at a meal and not stopping when you’ve had enough? After your meal, set your kitchen timer for 5 minutes and do something else. Maybe you’ll still eat more when the timer dings, but many times you won’t. The craving actually disappears in about 90 seconds, according to “habit experts.”

Want to start a new habit? Maybe lift weights, floss your teeth, write on your work-in-progress daily? Set your kitchen timer for 5 minutes, and when it dings, you can quit! Or, if you feel like going longer, you can and often will. (Getting started is usually more than half the battle, and you conquered that. Staying in motion is immeasurably easier.)

What about weariness or those pesky aches and pains? When you realize that your body is protesting, stop and set your timer for 5 minutes. Close your eyes and do deep breathing. Listen to uplifting music, something that soothes your soul. Wander around your back yard and see what’s blooming. You’ll be amazed how much 5 minutes can refresh you. (Just don’t waste it on your phone, email or social media. You’ll feel worse instead.)

“It doesn’t make sense to continue wanting something if you’re not willing to do what it takes to get it. If you don’t want to live the lifestyle, then release yourself from the desire. To crave the result but not the process, is to guarantee disappointment.” ~~James Clear, author of Atomic Habits

WELL, YES . . . AND NO.

Live the 5-Minute Life? How?

“To crave the result [the finished manuscript] but not the process [your writing habits, or eating habits, or sleeping habits, etc.] is to guarantee disappointment.”

I had a suspicion that something was wrong with my process. After floundering, I would have wonderful energetic re-starts, but the older I got, the amount of time I could stick to my writing schedule grew smaller. No matter how you take care of your health, age happens (if you’re lucky) and energy declines a bit each year.

I was sick and tired of giving up, getting depressed over NOT writing, then reading motivational books, praying hard, making check charts for the closet door to keep track of my work hours…and after a week or so, quitting again.

When younger, I could keep a rigorous writing schedule while teaching and raising kids, but not now at 71. I wanted to live the process and love it, but I found myself no longer able. [And it still bugs me to admit this.] Did that mean I had to quit writing books? It was beginning to seem so. 

But, but, but…

What if I could invent a writing process that I COULD fall in love with all over again? When I started writing and publishing in 1983, I had to work my writing around a newborn, a toddler, and a newly adopted boy from Korea who spoke no English. But I found a writing process (writing in bits and pieces) that worked for me then, so I launched my career (while we added yet another baby.) Many of those experiences became my two writing books, Writer’s First Aid and More Writer’s First Aid.

The More Things Change…

. . . the more they stay the same.

I’m no longer scrambling for bits of time in the same way. But getting started writing when not feeling well or when busy with volunteer and grandchildren activities still takes some grit. However, writing or marketing for five minutes is doable for anyone.

Yes, more than half the time, my 5-minute chunks of writing or marketing stretched into 30-45 minutes. Even when it didn’t, though, I was astounded by how much I could do in 5 minutes–just like I had trained myself to do during the baby years. I started giving myself high fives for every bit I wrote. Silly maybe, but it worked!

Where There’s a Will

I stop for different reasons now, of course. It’s not because a toddler fell and cut her lip or a baby needs changing. It is more often the aches in my wrists [shattered left wrist in 2017 and broken right hand in 2019] that crawl up my arms. But while stopping is different, starting is remarkably similar.

Give it a shot and see! Live the 5-Minute Writing Life!