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Audio Day 8, May 16, England

Published on by Kristi Holl Leave a comment

Day 8, May 16, England: Fun day today! My writing morning flew by, and this afternoon I had tea and scones at a museum coffee house with another writer friend, Sarah Lister. We met at The Folly, a café within the museum. I’m attending her school presentation tomorrow at the local church graveyard.

Those kids are in for a treat!

Best gluten-free scone ever!

Sarah’s latest two books. She has been my best source of material for Book 2 in my work-in-slow-progress trilogy.

Delightful and so very funny, Sarah Lister!

 

 

 

Living the 5-Minute Life

Published on by Kristi Holl

I’m too old, I’m too tired, I can’t write for hours anymore… But something won’t let me quit writing! Is there a solution?

Through a lot of trial and error, I found the solution for me: the 5-Minute Life. It didn’t just revolutionize my writing. You can also break a bad habit, or start a good habit, or rest when you’re weary—all in 5-Minute slices of your day.

Solving Problems, 5 Minutes at a Time 

Want to break a habit of overeating at a meal and not stopping when you’ve had enough? After your meal, set your kitchen timer for 5 minutes and do something else. Maybe you’ll still eat more when the timer dings, but many times you won’t. The craving actually disappears in about 90 seconds, according to “habit experts.”

Want to start a new habit? Maybe lift weights, floss your teeth, write on your work-in-progress daily? Set your kitchen timer for 5 minutes, and when it dings, you can quit! Or, if you feel like going longer, you can and often will. (Getting started is usually more than half the battle, and you conquered that. Staying in motion is immeasurably easier.)

What about weariness or those pesky aches and pains? When you realize that your body is protesting, stop and set your timer for 5 minutes. Close your eyes and do deep breathing. Listen to uplifting music, something that soothes your soul. Wander around your back yard and see what’s blooming. You’ll be amazed how much 5 minutes can refresh you. (Just don’t waste it on your phone, email or social media. You’ll feel worse instead.)

“It doesn’t make sense to continue wanting something if you’re not willing to do what it takes to get it. If you don’t want to live the lifestyle, then release yourself from the desire. To crave the result but not the process, is to guarantee disappointment.” ~~James Clear, author of Atomic Habits

WELL, YES . . . AND NO.

Live the 5-Minute Life? How?

“To crave the result [the finished manuscript] but not the process [your writing habits, or eating habits, or sleeping habits, etc.] is to guarantee disappointment.”

I had a suspicion that something was wrong with my process. After floundering, I would have wonderful energetic re-starts, but the older I got, the amount of time I could stick to my writing schedule grew smaller. No matter how you take care of your health, age happens (if you’re lucky) and energy declines a bit each year.

I was sick and tired of giving up, getting depressed over NOT writing, then reading motivational books, praying hard, making check charts for the closet door to keep track of my work hours…and after a week or so, quitting again.

When younger, I could keep a rigorous writing schedule while teaching and raising kids, but not now at 71. I wanted to live the process and love it, but I found myself no longer able. [And it still bugs me to admit this.] Did that mean I had to quit writing books? It was beginning to seem so. 

But, but, but…

What if I could invent a writing process that I COULD fall in love with all over again? When I started writing and publishing in 1983, I had to work my writing around a newborn, a toddler, and a newly adopted boy from Korea who spoke no English. But I found a writing process (writing in bits and pieces) that worked for me then, so I launched my career (while we added yet another baby.) Many of those experiences became my two writing books, Writer’s First Aid and More Writer’s First Aid.

The More Things Change…

. . . the more they stay the same.

I’m no longer scrambling for bits of time in the same way. But getting started writing when not feeling well or when busy with volunteer and grandchildren activities still takes some grit. However, writing or marketing for five minutes is doable for anyone.

Yes, more than half the time, my 5-minute chunks of writing or marketing stretched into 30-45 minutes. Even when it didn’t, though, I was astounded by how much I could do in 5 minutes–just like I had trained myself to do during the baby years. I started giving myself high fives for every bit I wrote. Silly maybe, but it worked!

Where There’s a Will

I stop for different reasons now, of course. It’s not because a toddler fell and cut her lip or a baby needs changing. It is more often the aches in my wrists [shattered left wrist in 2017 and broken right hand in 2019] that crawl up my arms. But while stopping is different, starting is remarkably similar.

Give it a shot and see! Live the 5-Minute Writing Life!

Put Out to Pasture—Or Not?

Published on by Kristi Holl

(Published on the ACFW blog page October 31, 2019)

I just returned from a research trip in the Yorkshire Dales in northern England, the setting of my historical work-in-progress. It was my second time to stay in this small village, whose buildings date back to the 1600’s. I wrote, I visited museums, and I hiked the hills two or three times each day. I will never get tired of the beauty of this area. Both years I especially loved the sheep. Fluffy white ewes dotted the high green fells and stared at me from beyond dry stone walls.

And, oddly enough, God spoke to me through those sheep. (Or maybe not so odd. The Lord spoke to Balaam through a donkey.)

A New Season of Life

Since passing 65, I’ve had several inquiries about when I might retire. I had never considered it until I dealt with a number of health issues, among them breaking my left wrist in four places and after that, my right hand. There was plenty of time to think about it while in casts, doing rehab, and learning to type again. I was afraid God might be telling me to stop pressuring myself over deadlines and retire. Oh, how I hoped that that was not what God was trying to tell me. (See also “Does Age Matter for Writers?” by Rachelle Gardner)

If you’ve ever wondered if you’re getting too old for the writing game, I want to share a lesson I learned from a shepherd last year.

Past Her Prime

A ewe can have two lambs per year (because of five-month pregnancies). Since there are many occasions of twins, a healthy ewe may produce more than two lambs per year. After four or five years, these mama ewes are worn out. Most of the older ewes simply can’t carry a lamb full-term anymore, or their lambs are no longer born healthy. So what happens to a ewe when she can no longer fulfill her purpose?

It all depends on the quality of what she’s produced up to that time. If this ewe has produced many lambs that are very healthy and strong, it means she has good genes. She is singled out for special treatment. Rather than killing her for mutton and lanolin, she is given a season of extra nutritious food and extra rest. This is to restore her to vibrant health after being depleted by giving birth to all those lambs. The ewe could then live and reproduce another five years, and sometimes much more.

Do you identify with these older, tired ewes? I did. We can feel depleted after giving birth to one novel after another, year after year, and need some definite renewal. Instead of retiring, I sensed that I also needed a super healthy diet and a more restful (and less stressful) season. The Lord showed me (step by step) how to do both, which eventually restored my energy to a level that a working writer needs.

The Lord is My Shepherd

Seeing how the older ewes were restored to full function wasn’t as dramatic as Moses’ burning bush, but it spoke volumes to me. Instead of taking my health scares as signs that I should retire, I sensed strongly that I also needed to submit to two things. I must upgrade my nutritional choices and deal with my lack of sleep, if I wanted to keep writing as the years go by.

Are you a writer who secretly wonders if you can keep going, even though you are at the peak of your writing craft? If so, pray about it before you quit writing. You may well be one of the Lord’s worn-out sheep whom He wants to restore, so you can continue to do the work He created for you to do.

Resting and Reflecting Before Re-Aligning

Published on by Kristi Holl

Since I last posted regularly, I’ve written three books (two adult mysteries and one juvenile nonfiction book), traveled, and been sick. The holidays blurred by, to be honest, because one of the book deadlines was December 20th. Two days ago I finished the second adult mystery.

One good thing about being sick is all the time you’re forced to be still: in waiting rooms, in recovery at home, in the night. Quiet time. Thinking time. Evaluating time.

HIATUS

What should happen when you take a hiatus from your regular life? [Hiatus = time off.] Among other things, I disappeared from my blog, newsletter and social media. I dropped out of several things at church for a while, and–this was the hardest–had to say ‘no’ a lot to my girls regarding babysitting my grandchildren.

An article, sustainable trauma recovery: taking a hiatus boosts MOTIVATION, by Robyn Mourning explains a healing process well. Her three-point recovery plan included rest, reflection, and getting re-aligned. A hiatus can be months away from your normal routine, or a week off, a weekend, half a day, or an hour long.

How should you spend your hiatus, if you want to feel the full benefits?

REST

Rest: take a breather, relax, stretch, just be.

At first, this was all I could do. I sat…on the couch, in bed with a book, in the backyard swing, down the trail by the pond. I wasn’t even thinking much. Not reading either. Catatonic mostly. Sometimes I walked rather zombie-like, appalled at how winded I was just walking! (I won a 5K race in my age group two years ago.) The walking and stretching helped get rid of the headaches and backaches from sitting too long. Being in nature is also very healing for me.

REFLECT

Reflect: become aware of your progress, what you’ve done so far, notice any big or small shifts that are providing hope and fostering resiliency.

I knew I was making progress when I wanted to read again and could focus and stay awake to read. I had a stack of fiction books (over 20) and nonfiction books (25) that had piled up this past year, unread. I also began to reflect on how I had managed to get myself into such a situation so that I didn’t repeat it.

Most of the problem was that I had scheduled myself with no margin at all last year. If NOTHING extra had come up, there wouldn’t have been a problem. But lots of extra things did occur, and being sick so often wasn’t on my calendar either. It was one of those “life happens when you’ve made other plans” kind of years. No one’s fault. My planning wasn’t wrong, but it had been unwise in the extreme not to build in any margin.

RE-ALIGN

Re-align: get re-aligned (or strengthen your alignment) with your unique purpose, your values, your goals.

Upon resting and reflecting, I realized there were a few important things I had let go of when things got so busy. One was proper exercise and sleep. One was time with friends. Another included a couple family members I lost touch with. So it was then time to re-align. I used a couple of tools for this.

One tool was the book Living Forward by Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy, which is new. It came with many, many free online resources, including an excellent test which shows what parts of your life are working well–and which parts you’re drifting in, just trying to keep your head above water without being sucked down by the undertow. It pinpointed two more places I’d let slide without realizing it. Doing the Life Plan has helped me get my values re-aligned with how I spend my time.

The other book that is helping me get re-aligned is When the Body Says NO: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection by Gabor Mate, M.D. It has been eye-opening, not at all what I expected. I’m still learning from this one.

REST. REFLECT. RE-ALIGN. You’ll be glad you did. 

The Power of Intermittent Recovery

Published on by Kristi Holl

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

From the book The Power of Full Engagement:

To be an effective energy manager, you need to spend nearly all of your time fully engaged in the high positive energy quadrant or recovering your energy by spending time doing things in the low positive energy quadrant.

Definition of Terms

The low positive energy quadrant consists of doing activities that leave you relaxed, mellow, peaceful, tranquil and serene. For me, that means reading a good book or watching a good movie or spending time with certain people with whom I’m on the same sympathetic wavelength.

For you, such positive-energy producing activities may include fishing, golf, sitting in your porch swing, listening to music, going for a bike ride or stroll, or any number of things. The important point is this: unless you spend sufficient short periods throughout your day in intermittent recovery, you’ll burn out and experience a host of other unpleasant symptoms.

Is It Really That Important?

Yes, if you spend all day writing furiously on your novel, zipping along in your high energy positive quadrant, you’ll produce an amazing amount of work. That day, anyway. Maybe even two days in a row, but that will be it.

By relentlessly spending mental energy without recovery, you’ll be tired, anxious, irritable—and self-doubt will inevitably set in. In a tired state, our stories stink, our ideas sound hackneyed, and our prose deadly dull. At that point, we end up taking off more time from the writing than we would have if we’d made ourselves take those intermittent breaks throughout the writing day. (Trust me on this. I speak from experience.)

The Pay-Off

What’s the result of taking those short “low positive energy” recovery breaks? You’ll come back to your work more energized, less ache-y in the neck and back, and more emotionally upbeat.

The emotional component is just as important as your physical energy level! Defusing the bombs of self-doubt and anxiety will help your writing as much as feeling re-energized. And in the end, you’ll write more, not less, by taking the short breaks throughout the day. This is one of my 2016 goals.

Now I think I’ll try it myself and step outside into the lovely Texas sunshine.

The Writing Life: Stopping "Unintentional Acceleration Syndrome"

Published on by Kristi Holl

Have you ever had the experience of driving a car which suddenly–and for no apparent reason–accelerates? Applying the brakes has no effect.

It sometimes happens with certain defects in cars, and while the driver can see the accident about to happen, he is powerless to do anything about it.

Symptoms of Acceleration Syndrome

Many writers feel like their lives have the same “defect.” Symptoms can include lethargy, tiredness after a full night’s sleep, depression or free-floating anxiety without a specific cause, and spaciness. A writer with an unintentional accelerated pace of life has precious little time for the reflection and quiet “head space” needed for creating.

Does the description of this syndrome sound familiar to you?

The ever increasing pace of life is called the “acceleration syndrome,” and it is causing a global epidemic of hurry sickness. One of the symptoms is the dizzying speed at which we live and the amount of living we are forcing into our lives…Many “solutions” offered, such as time management and learning to delegate and prioritize, are having the opposite effect. They are actually increasing the pace of life, creating a time squeeze in which we are encouraged to cram even more into an hour. They only aggravate the problem we are supposed to be addressing.

What’s a writer to do?

It’s covered in one of the “dirty dozen” chapters that Caroline Leaf talks about in her book Who Switched Off My Brain (the chapter called “Toxic Schedules.”) There’s also a one-minute video segment you can watch on the topic. I highly recommend all her books. They have helped me tremendously  with “detoxing” over the past two years.

Unlike the driver of a car stuck in unintentional acceleration, you CAN do something about your speeded-up life. And if you want to enjoy your writing life, you will probably need to. 

The Necessity of Solitude

Published on by Kristi Holl

Women are givers. Women writers are some of the most giving people I know.

We tend to have stronger relationships because of it–with babies, grown children, friends, and extended family.

But unless you learn how to balance all this giving with replenishment, you’ll find it nearly impossible to write.

Gift from the Sea

It has been a particularly busy family time the last two months, with little sleep and too little time to write. I wouldn’t go back and change any of it either–very rewarding times. But there comes a time when you realize you’re close to being drained. Pay attention to those times, or you’ll pay for it later (in your health, in your lack of writing, and in lack of patience with those around you).

This morning I was reading a bit in one of my favorite little books, Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s book, Gift from the Sea. I re-read it at least once a year. Here are a few snippets that might speak to you giving women:

  • What a circus act we women perform every day of our lives. It leads …to fragmentation. It does not bring grace; it destroys the soul.
  • Eternally, woman spills herself away in driblets to the thirsty, seldom being allowed the time, the quiet, the peace, to let the pitcher fill up to the brim.
  • Only when one is connected to one’s own core is one connected to others, I am beginning to discover. And, for me, the core, the inner spring, can best be refound through solitude.
  • One must lose one’s life to find it. Woman can best refind herself by losing herself in some kind of creative activity of her own.

Is That You?

If you find yourself feeling fragmented and agitated today, find a way to steal away from everyone for even ten minutes of total solitude (and if possible, silence). Breathe deeply. Bring the energy spilled on everyone else back inside for a few minutes. Re-focus. Relax.

If you have a couple hours, get a copy of Gift from the Sea and read straight through it. You’ll love it!

And tell us your favorite way to find solitude–whether for a day or just a few minutes. We all need suggestions for this!

A Writing Retreat Re-Defined

Published on by Kristi Holl

Last weekend I spoke at a writers’ conference, and my last talk was on self-coaching and self-care. If no one else got anything valuable from the talk, I did.

I realized as I preached about self-care for writers that my own had slipped badly. That was part of the reason I was talking armed with cough drops and hot tea with honey.

I needed some time apart to get rejuvenated. I needed a retreat.

I Don’t Have the Time or Money!

Most of us have preconceived ideas of what a “writer’s retreat” would look like for us. Anything outside that box (we think) just wouldn’t fill the bill. A cabin in the woods–alone. A week at a convent–alone. A long weekend at a hotel with room service–plus writing friends in adjoining rooms. Everyone has an idea of the perfect writing retreat. And that’s often why our internal response is, “But I don’t have the time or money for that.”

So, if that’s your situation, what do you do when your body and mind scream for a retreat? Dig into The Writer’s Retreat Kit: A Guide for Creative Exploration and Personal Expression by Judy Reeves, author of A Writer’s Book of Days. She challenges writers to think of retreats in other ways–and thus to see the possibilities around us to create such retreats. Her themed retreat ideas can be for a weekend or scaled down to a few minutes, depending on what time you have available.

Make a Mental Shift

Chew on this quote for the weekend and see what you come up with.

Much as I believe that the idea of a writing retreat will always include Time Away Alone (I expect secluded mountain cabins or pri­vate, distant seashores will also remain in our writer’s mind’s eye), I also believe it is possible for each of us to create other, less extensive writing retreats that can refill and restore us, that can be containers enabling us to produce new work and to open us to creative expres­sion and that allow us to dip into the solitude we need to communi­cate with our inner selves.

  • Consider that a writing retreat is not necessarily a place, but a concept.
  • Consider the word retreat not as a noun but a verb.
  • Consider time not as a measure in length, but in depth.
  • Consider the idea of being alone not as being distant from people but as not allowing others to intrude on your solitude.

Get Practical and Make It Happen

In other words, let loose all those old ideas about what is nec­essary for a writing retreat to be “real,” and open your mind and heart to another way of giving yourself this gift of self-care. Get out your notebook and begin listing retreat ideas that last fifteen minutes, an hour, half a day, and a weekend. Brainstorm ideas that range from free to a trip to a European hide-away, if that’s your dream retreat.

Then choose several ideas and put them on your calendar as important appointments with your writer self. I added one ten-minute retreat idea to my daily routine this week, and I’m loving it. That tea and pumpkin spice candle does it for me.

How about you? Do you have mini retreat ideas you could share?

Saying YES to the Writer Inside You

Published on by Kristi Holl

Maya Angelou said, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

I don’t know about that. I’ve had some bigger agonies in my life than that.

HOWEVER, after several years of burying an untold story inside me, I’ve decided to take some concentrated time to get the story on paper.

Halting Progress

I started this novel five years ago. I have started and stopped this novel so many times I’ve lost count. I still love it, but it’s one of those novels that isn’t commercial (no Amish vampires), isn’t a series, and isn’t edgy. But I love it. It stays with me every time I pause to write a series for someone, or teach a workshop, or critique a novel, or write a work-for-hire book for an educational publisher.

My novel is languishing half finished, and I’ve decided to take the time to finish it now. Three months of study and writing time is going to be my gift…to ME!

Changes

What will that mean? Several things. For three months (until August 1): 

  • I won’t be writing new blog posts. If you’re looking for help, there are hundreds of blog posts available here on all kinds of topics. (See the list down the right-hand side.)
  • I won’t be doing novel critiques for three months.
  • I won’t be available for guest blog posts, online interviews, or teaching a workshop.
I’ve been writing lately about retreats, but I decided I needed more. It’s like a sabbatical, time away from activities that can burn you out, then taking that time and energy and pouring into your work. I’m excited about the coming months! See you back here August 1!