pain

Focus Shift: Photoshop Your Moods!

Published on by Kristi Holl

In addition to a Covid family death, I lost two friends in December, plus my last (and favorite) uncle. The focus was on grieving, plus a severe autoimmune flare-up it caused.

With Christmas around the corner, I found it difficult to feel the joy of the season. And writing? That felt out of the question, so my work-in-progress languished. Everywhere I turned were reminders of loss and the pain of suffering loved ones left behind. It seemed there was little I could do but pray and endure and pretend to be happy, so that I didn’t dampen anyone else’s holidays.

But there was more I could do, which I learned inadvertently from my teenage granddaughter, Abby. She’s taking dozens of my W.I.P. England photos, resizing and refocusing them for use in blogs, plus Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest posts. I watched her change photos from bright and cheery to somber and shadowy, in keeping with my mystery series.

Photoshop Your Days

Abby was taking reality (the amateur photos I took), and either brightening or darkening the mood by what she chose to emphasize. So, I tried it myself, experimenting with a Yorkshire Dales graveyard photo (shown first below.) Using cropping and blurring and tints and hues, I brightened the mood (the second photo) and then used the same techniques in reverse to darken the mood (the third photo.)

Here is a shift away from the darker elements to a brighter spot in the photo. Definitely a cheerier mood.

Here is a shift in focus again, but this time ignoring the brighter spots, but focusing on the somber, darker elements.

A light dawned. Could I finagle with my own downcast soul in the same way I adjusted the photos? Could I take the circumstances of loss and sickness—the true snapshot of my current life—and adjust my mood by choosing what to focus on? What could I crop out that wasn’t helpful to focus on? Could I brighten the tone? What heightened contrast would give a truer perspective?

Focus on Eternal Truths

Yes, the truth was that those were sad days. But what else was true? These loved ones were out of pain now. I trusted that I’d see them again one day. True, I felt unwell, but thanks to Covid isolation, I was already expert at ordering food via Instacart. So two Christmas dinners arrived with all the prep work done. And since I love Christmas music and movies, I filled the empty spaces with more intentional joy. It was Philippians 4:8 in action.

But in addition to changing the focus to things that were true and uplifting and kind, I had to crop out a few things from the current picture. First was to stop thinking about negative events in the world and in the extended family that, beyond fervently praying, I couldn’t change. I reviewed my old copy of Codependent No More by Melody Beattie to remind myself what problems I was responsible for, and which problems in the extended family I clearly was not responsible for fixing. And stepping back to view the whole situation made it look much less disheartening.

Making these seemingly small changes reminded me of another book on my shelves, The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time by Alex Korb, PhD. According to science, these small “photo app” changes  shift brain chemistry from depression to hopeful joy. I even read some of my own blog posts, like From Panic to Focus: Save Your Writing Project and Find Your Focus: Stick to the ONE Thing.

So, if your 2021 New Year looks less joyous than in previous years (for any reason), don’t despair. Do some creative cropping, change your focus, and brighten the picture. Watch how you are transformed by the renewing of your mind!

[Originally published January 3, 2021, on the American Christian Fiction Writers blog]

When Your Writer’s Personality is Rejected

Published on by Kristi Holl

The post below about a writer’s personality ran six years ago, and something happened this past week that reminded me of how much we need other writers. I am blessed to have two such people as close friends: one who is my age and in relatively the same stage in life, and one who is 15 years older, who has weathered tougher times than I have and still kept her marvelous sense of humor. I hope to be like her someday. However, the first 2/3 of my writing life wasn’t like that, and I felt truly alone in this venture. If that sounds like you, read on (including the comments which I saved.) When I say that “we’re all in this together,” I mean it.

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If you’ve studied personality types, you may have noticed how many writers have a good dose of the Melancholy Temperament.

Some of the signs:

  • You’re sensitive to your own feelings plus the vibes given off by others.
  • You notice things that go over the heads of others.
  • You love solitude—and need it to feel sane and calm.
  • You like to think, and think deeply.
  • You may be more of an observer at parties, avoiding the limelight if possible.

All those traits help your writing immensely. Other writers will love those traits in you.

Unwelcome Personality

Be warned, however. Many people in your life won’t like some of your creative personality. When that happens, it will feel like another form of rejection.

I was reminded of this when re-reading a terrific book called The Soul Tells a Story by Vinita Hampton Wright. Here’s what  the author has to say about this:

“My gifts were always welcomed and encouraged in my family, church, and school communities. What was not welcomed was the personality from which those gifts spring. I was moody, easily depressed and extremely introverted. I had no social skills, was too honest when I talked, and didn’t know anything about flirtation or other forms of politics.” She added that she had “an overriding sense that people didn’t accept me as I was. I would be told to stop having a long face, that I should smile more, that I should be more outgoing…that to be inward was to be self-centered.”

If you have some Melancholy Temperament, and you also grew up in a dysfunctional environment, your personality traits may be even more pronounced.

Finding a Kindred Personality

I could really identify with Ms. Wright’s words. All my life I’ve been told that I think too much. So my best friend (a non-writer) shocked me when we first met. She said, “I like that you read a lot and think deeply.” She does too—and we bonded for life! You need to have such kindred souls in your life–even one will do.

I’m not saying we never need to change. And I’m not suggesting that you announce to your family “I’m moody because I’m a writer, so get over it” or snarl “Go away and leave me ALONE because I’m an introvert” or tell people off because you are honest.

On the other hand, stop tying yourself into a pretzel to be what someone else thinks you should be.

Be Grateful for Your Writer’s Personality

I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to “undo” my writer’s personality, not realizing what it was (or that it was part of a gift). You may find that there are few people that you can be your unvarnished self with. (I am blessed with a best friend, a dear sister, and another writer who let me relax and say whatever is on my mind and never judge or reject me. If you have even ONE person in your life where you can do that, you are blessed.)

With everyone else, I tone down the tell-it-like-it-is honesty, and I smile whether I want to or not. I developed social tricks to get others to talk so I didn’t have to. I’ve dumped my “unacceptable” feelings into journals for nearly thirty years.

I might not be as brave as some of you. Or maybe I’m just old enough to be too tired to deal with people who don’t understand me and don’t want to try. It stirs up exhausting discussions that go nowhere. I’d rather save that energy for my writing.

Put Your Writer’s Personality to Good Use

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t stuff things till I implode. (I used to–bad for the blood pressure!) Instead, I pour those in-your-face honest feelings into my fiction and nonfiction. I let characters say things I don’t say anymore. I tend to create characters that feel like they’re out of the mainstream socially. And I love characters who are sensitive and probably think too much.

Ms. Wright says: “Creativity takes you places that are weird to others. Don’t be surprised when others reject you for being different, asking too many questions or expressing yourself in ways that are unfamiliar to them.”

You’re not alone if you get this type of reaction fairly often. Just be sure to hang out with people—like me—who will value your writer’s personality. They’re out there. Look for them, and don’t stop till you find one. I was in my late 30s before I found a truly kindred soul.

When you find someone who likes your writer’s personality, you may find out that they’re undercover writers as well. If so, you’re doubly blessed.

If you’ve ever felt this way, please leave a comment! You’re among friends here! [NOTE: I understand that a security issue has blocked comments. I have a “work order” into Sucuri to get it fixed, in case you try to post and can’t. Argh!]

Writers: Sitting Fit Anytime

Published on by Kristi Holl

One of my health goals is to stop taking so much aspirin and other painkillers. It causes more problems than it helps. This has been an ongoing goal for years, and recently I found something amazingly simple that is really helping!

The Painful Side of Writing

When I started writing, I don’t recall ever reading anything about health problems associated with writing. But sitting for hours, especially at a computer, takes a toll on your neck, back, wrists, and hands. The associated headaches and back pain keep many writers on painkillers of one sort or another.

Then my daughter suggested that I get some yoga DVDs. My initial reaction was negative. My mental image of yoga was of some spaced-out chanting person twisted into an inhuman pretzel. Not for me!

Yoga for Writers (and other stiff people)

I quickly learned that my ideas were outdated. From my library, I checked out “Healing Yoga for Aches & Pains,” which was as soothing as a massage (and got rid of my headache!) I have yet to try “Yoga for Inflexible People.” My favorite DVD so far is Yoga: Sitting Fit Anytime, which has nine separate 3-5 minute segments addressing individual needs of people who sit at computers for hours.

It’s easy to follow, you do it sitting, and it targets neck and shoulder tension, lower back pain, upper back pain, tight hamstrings, headaches, and carpal tunnel problems. There was even a segment for stiff hands and fingers. There was no chanting. 😎 (FYI: I skip the New Agey intro–not for me! Just want the stretches.)

Preventive and Restorative

If you don’t have aches and pains from writing, thank heaven. But also consider doing some routine stretching to prevent developing such problems. If you already suffer from head, back and/or arm pain, consider yoga as a drug-free solution. Your body–AND creative mind–will thank you.

[P.S. If you long-time faithful readers thought this sounded like a repeat, you’re right. Had a ripping headache today that I finally got rid of with the DVD stretches! Thought you all might need the same reminder I did.]