Spiral UP? Or spiral DOWN? Your choice!

For over a year, I’ve been dealing with three difficult circumstances that impacted everything, causing one downward spiral after another. Since I tend to handle things privately, I disappeared from social media. 

But this fall, I felt the urge to get back to thriving instead of simply surviving.

Easy to say, but hard to do!

Self-Examination

I had picked up some escapist survival habits that were more engrained than I first believed. I had great intentions at the beginning of the day; however, failure to follow through happened with regularity (like many times daily). One or two poor choices flipped me into that excuse of “I’ve ruined today, so I’ll start again tomorrow.”

I don’t think I’ve had a perfect day yet where I made good eating choices, writing choices, and relationship choices without fail. And my lightning quick brain finally realized perfection wasn’t EVER going to be possible. Not this side of heaven anyway. But I finally learned something critical that improved every area that needed healing:

Every poor choice is the beginning of a spiral. Like a circular staircase, you can either spiral up or down. You always have two options, and you get to choose.”

Spiral Down Fast

Each day contains at least one poor choice we make. (Often it is several.) A poor choice is one that doesn’t fit your goals. It could be a writing goal, a health goal, a time management goal, or a relationship goal.

A poor choice could be

  • scrolling social media during your writing time,
  • eating two sugary donuts,
  • binge watching TV till midnight, or
  • snapping at your child.

Your first poor choice is your critical choice moment

You can make a poor choice and SPIRAL DOWNWARD FAST. Imagine yourself at the top of this twisty slide. One push, and down you go, around and around until you hit bottom.

Practically speaking, what might that look like?

  • You can decide that the day is already ruined when you eat a donut for breakfast. So, you eat junk food and sugar bombs the rest of the day.
  • You feel guilty, so you add binge watching a favorite TV series until you are blotto.
  • You put away your manuscript again to tend to your headache, and
  • give the obstinate child the silent treatment for good measure.

Choice #2: Spiral Up (Slowly but Steadily)

On the other hand, you can make THE VERY SAME POOR CHOICE, then decide to SPIRAL UP SLOWLY, STEP BY TINY STEP, instead. 

You can stop the downward trajectory immediately by taking a small step UP.

  • After your donut, you might brush your teeth or plan a healthy lunch.
  • You might close all the live streaming tabs on your laptop.
  • You might turn to where you left off during your last writing session and re-read the page.
  • You might apologize to the child and hold her on your lap for a minute.
  • You might take a slow, five-minute walk to interrupt your negative thinking.

Continual Choices

Yes, the upward spiral is a slower path, but it’s a steady path of growth. The steps up don’t have to be big at all. And you can take lots of pauses to refresh with a stretch or walk around the yard or enjoy some planned treat with a favorite book.

The downward spiral that comes with several poor choices is a slippery, speedy easy path that comes with a hard landing. But even then, it’s not all over.

Pick yourself up at the bottom of the slide. Choose the upward spiral staircase right away, and just focus on the smallest step right in front of you. And after a pause, when you’re ready, take another step up. And eventually another. 

Every single poor choice throughout your week is just the beginning of a spiral. But whether you spiral up or down is entirely up to you. It really is. Pause. Relax. Breathe deeply. (And if you’re like me, pray for help.)

REMEMBER: the poor choice is the first step in both sequences. The direction (of your day, your week, and ultimately your life) is your CHOICE.

 

Living the 5-Minute Life

I’m too old, I’m too tired, I can’t write for hours anymore… But something won’t let me quit writing! Is there a solution?

Through a lot of trial and error, I found the solution for me: the 5-Minute Life. It didn’t just revolutionize my writing. You can also break a bad habit, or start a good habit, or rest when you’re weary—all in 5-Minute slices of your day.

Solving Problems, 5 Minutes at a Time 

Want to break a habit of overeating at a meal and not stopping when you’ve had enough? After your meal, set your kitchen timer for 5 minutes and do something else. Maybe you’ll still eat more when the timer dings, but many times you won’t. The craving actually disappears in about 90 seconds, according to “habit experts.”

Want to start a new habit? Maybe lift weights, floss your teeth, write on your work-in-progress daily? Set your kitchen timer for 5 minutes, and when it dings, you can quit! Or, if you feel like going longer, you can and often will. (Getting started is usually more than half the battle, and you conquered that. Staying in motion is immeasurably easier.)

What about weariness or those pesky aches and pains? When you realize that your body is protesting, stop and set your timer for 5 minutes. Close your eyes and do deep breathing. Listen to uplifting music, something that soothes your soul. Wander around your back yard and see what’s blooming. You’ll be amazed how much 5 minutes can refresh you. (Just don’t waste it on your phone, email or social media. You’ll feel worse instead.)

“It doesn’t make sense to continue wanting something if you’re not willing to do what it takes to get it. If you don’t want to live the lifestyle, then release yourself from the desire. To crave the result but not the process, is to guarantee disappointment.” ~~James Clear, author of Atomic Habits

WELL, YES . . . AND NO.

Live the 5-Minute Life? How?

“To crave the result [the finished manuscript] but not the process [your writing habits, or eating habits, or sleeping habits, etc.] is to guarantee disappointment.”

I had a suspicion that something was wrong with my process. After floundering, I would have wonderful energetic re-starts, but the older I got, the amount of time I could stick to my writing schedule grew smaller. No matter how you take care of your health, age happens (if you’re lucky) and energy declines a bit each year.

I was sick and tired of giving up, getting depressed over NOT writing, then reading motivational books, praying hard, making check charts for the closet door to keep track of my work hours…and after a week or so, quitting again.

When younger, I could keep a rigorous writing schedule while teaching and raising kids, but not now at 71. I wanted to live the process and love it, but I found myself no longer able. [And it still bugs me to admit this.] Did that mean I had to quit writing books? It was beginning to seem so. 

But, but, but…

What if I could invent a writing process that I COULD fall in love with all over again? When I started writing and publishing in 1983, I had to work my writing around a newborn, a toddler, and a newly adopted boy from Korea who spoke no English. But I found a writing process (writing in bits and pieces) that worked for me then, so I launched my career (while we added yet another baby.) Many of those experiences became my two writing books, Writer’s First Aid and More Writer’s First Aid.

The More Things Change…

. . . the more they stay the same.

I’m no longer scrambling for bits of time in the same way. But getting started writing when not feeling well or when busy with volunteer and grandchildren activities still takes some grit. However, writing or marketing for five minutes is doable for anyone.

Yes, more than half the time, my 5-minute chunks of writing or marketing stretched into 30-45 minutes. Even when it didn’t, though, I was astounded by how much I could do in 5 minutes–just like I had trained myself to do during the baby years. I started giving myself high fives for every bit I wrote. Silly maybe, but it worked!

Where There’s a Will

I stop for different reasons now, of course. It’s not because a toddler fell and cut her lip or a baby needs changing. It is more often the aches in my wrists [shattered left wrist in 2017 and broken right hand in 2019] that crawl up my arms. But while stopping is different, starting is remarkably similar.

Give it a shot and see! Live the 5-Minute Writing Life!

A Writer’s Perfect Week

Writer friends from our local ACFW

It has been a writer’s perfect week. I wish I had a word for it! A perfect storm (of which I’ve experienced many over the years) is a “particularly bad state of affairs, arising from a number of negative  factors,” according to the dictionary. But this week was the opposite: a writer’s perfect week.

While I don’t believe a picture is worth a thousand words (or I wouldn’t be in this business), I love photos that tell stories too, so they’re sprinkled throughout.

Two Big Events

Two things made this such a great week: a national writers’ conference last weekend, and my research trip to England tomorrow!

Hyatt Regency

I’m president of our local branch of ACFW (American Christian Fiction Writers), and this past week was our National ACFW conference. We met downtown at the Riverwalk. (That is a view from my room.) As host city, we were responsible for a few things, like transportation for VIPs. (Thank you again, Bruce Judisch!)

 

Milestone Pin award

On Thursday night I was surprised before the dinner by receiving a “Milestone Pin” for having had more than 50 books published with traditional publishers. My friend’s photo caught us as we left the stage. 

Incredible Speakers

Frank Peretti

The speakers this year were superb, and it was an honor to sit under the teaching of authors I had admired and read for decades. They were all so generous with their time and “secrets of the trade.” One special time for me was meeting Frank Peretti, author of two books I read in the 80s (This Present Darkness and Piercing the Darkness) that made a huge impact on me (as well as the other 3.5 million people who bought the books.) He was hilarious and deep, a rare combination, and such a kind man. He was our keynote speaker for the weekend, plus he shared in workshops, and I came as close to being a groupie fangirl as I have ever come in my life.

Other speakers who were favorites were Allen Arnold, James Scott Bell, Robert Dugoni, and Susie May Warren. They all shared deeply moving stories about their lives as well as teaching on writing.

One especially encouraging thing happened with the pitches for my new series idea set in the Yorkshire Dales in England. The agent I spoke with, and both editors I “pitched” the idea to, were very interested and want to see it. I am so grateful for this encouraging “shot in the arm.” It doesn’t mean a sale, but it’s the next step in that direction.

Perfect Timing

The Old Brewhouse flat

So, I head back to England tomorrow, to a small flat in Settle, England, to work hard on Book 1 and finish research for Books 2 and 3. My head is practically bursting with ideas after sitting in 16-18 hours of excellent teaching. My next three weeks will be filled with writing, reading, museum visits, talking to the sheep on my hikes…and then starting the cycle over again. I can’t wait! I’ll post some photos and news throughout the time I’ll be there.

And if anyone knows a word for the opposite of “a perfect storm,” let me know!

 

 

How the Chunky Method Saved My Life

A couple of months ago, after being sick and traveling and meeting two book deadlines, I stalled when given some unwelcome health news which required tests and more tests. I got really, really behind on an adult mystery, and for hours I would struggle to write, only to throw it all out at the end of the day.

I was used to writing in 90-minute or two-hour blocks, taking a break, then doing it all again. I’d used that schedule for years, since I no longer have small children living with me. But sickness and burn-out had taken their toll, and I wouldn’t make my deadline at the rate I was going.

Enter the Chunky Method!

I had signed up to attend a Saturday writing workshop, and I was eager to be around other writers t. The speaker, Allie Pleiter, was to talk about her book, The Chunky Method Handbook: Your Step-By-Step Plan to Write That Book Even When Life Gets in the Way. To be honest, I didn’t expect to learn anything really new. I just wanted to be encouraged.

I got so much more!

In a Nutshell

Based on our personalities, our lifestyles, our season of life (small children, day job, retired empty nester) and our health, we all write in different “chunks.” By Allie’s definition, a chunk of writing is what you can comfortably do in one sitting, stopping when you pass the point of “this writing is good” into “the writing I’m doing now will have to be tossed out because it stinks.” She had a test for determining the length of your natural chunk. Big and little chunks are equally valuable.

Frankly, I was going to skip the test when I got home and move on to the rest of her book. I had to get busy! Anyway, my natural chunk for years had been about 90 minutes, or about 1500 words. I knew that already. But was it anymore? My writing life was certainly no longer working.

Back to the Drawing Board

I decided to do the chunky test. (You’re supposed to do this five days in a row, one chunk per day.) I didn’t have five days to use for this, so I did four chunks spread throughout a day. I was careful to stop when I felt too tired to keep going productively. Big discovery!

My chunk had shrunk!

I wasn’t able to comfortably write 1500 words at a sitting. My four chunks averaged only 500 words, and my sitting was only 45 minutes. At first I was really dismayed. I was too far behind to write the novel in 500-word chunks. Or so I thought.

I had nothing to lose by trying this method of writing my “comfortable chunk,” then resting a good while, then doing another “comfortable chunk,” and so on throughout the day.

Changing It Up

It worked! Before the Chunky Method workshop, my struggles had only produced about 1200 words per day, and sometimes not that much. Using the Chunky Method, I was able to average about 5,000 words per day rough draft, and some days nearly 8,000 words. And with the rest breaks between the chunks, where I walked or just went outside, I wasn’t stiff and sore or even very tired in the evenings. [NOTE: Determining your “chunk” is just the first step in the Chunky Method. I would tell you more, but I don’t want to plagiarize her book.]

Because I was writing so close to the deadline, I followed my own advice and got a paid critique from a writer I know and trust who has written award-winning mysteries. (Thank you, Mary Blount Christian!) After revising according to her excellent critique, I was able to turn in the manuscript on time. (And very little revision was requested by the editor this time too.)

So, in case you’re stuck, or you’re trying to write in the midst of stressful circumstances, I’d encourage you to buy The Chunky Method. It could change your writing life. It sure did mine!

Motivate Yourself Overnight!

Getting Into Character: Seven Secrets a Novelist Can Learn from Actors by Brandilyn Collins, discusses taking on your characters’ inner lives (their emotions and motivations) in order to write believable story people. If you first get inside them, you become those characters.

What if you could use this technique to become the motivated writer you want to be?

Acting “As If”

Steve Chandler, in 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself, discovered this technique of  “getting into character” was a great way to do just that.

“You’ll gather energy and inspiration by ‘doing the character’ you want to be,” Chandler says. “I took an acting class a few years ago because I thought it would help me with stage fright. But I learned something much more valuable… I found out that I could motivate myself by thinking and acting like a motivated person. With practice, the line between acting and being disappears.”

Mind Over Matter?

I’ve never acted on the stage, but his words rang true. When I first gave talks in schools and speeches at library functions, the only way I got my knees to stop shaking was to tell myself continually that “I’m having fun!” and to demonstrate it with the accompanying smiles and gestures. I was petrified and nauseated for nearly two years, but one day–in the middle of a speech–I realized that I actually was having fun! I was stunned.

Just suppose that you could harness this technique and use it to change your own character.

Take Your Pick

What kind of writer do you want to “become”?

  • An organized one? A dedicated one? A motivated one? A super successful bestselling one?
  • Okay, so how would you act?
  • How would you think?
  • What kinds of things would you say to yourself?
  • How would you spend your time?
  • How would you handle negative feedback from editors?
  • Add to these inner changes the proper voice, walk, posture, and facial expressions.

I challenge you (and myself) to act like the writer we want to become. Recovery circles use this when helping people change, dropping destructive behaviors in favor of new healthy ones. “Act as if” and “Fake it till you make it” are commonly heard bits of advice.

As a Man Thinketh in His Heart…

I will never act on the stage, nor need to get into character for opening night. But often, when facing that blank computer screen, I guarantee you that I have “off-stage” fright.

Maybe I’ll begin right now getting into my “confident writer” persona. As Chandler says, “With practice, the line between acting and being disappears.” And won’t that be fun when it does!

Key #1: Have a Reason to Write

[First read Part 1 of the series called “Writing in Flow to Make Writing Fun.”]

The first key that Susan K. Perry mentions in Writing in Flow is this: have a reason to write. I’m going to break this into two parts.

First: The Reason to Write in Flow

For me, the reason to write “in flow” is that I enjoy the writing so much more! I can force myself to write, but it’s not much fun. A majority of the writers interviewed by this author had learned how to control their flow experience. They had learned what they needed to do in order to slip into this “timeless” flow state where the writing is so pleasurable.

If you can figure out how to enter the flow state more predictably, you’ll enjoy your writing much more. Thus you’re more likely to write more and produce more.

The “flow theory” states that you enter a flow state when the following requirements are in place:

  1. You have a clear goal and will get some sort of feedback (even if it something like tracking word count).
  2. You sense that your skill level is fairly well suited to the challenge of your writing (neither so easy that it’s boring, nor so far above your skill level that you feel anxious.)
  3. You are intensely focused on what you’re doing.
  4. You lose awareness of yourself and almost feel a part of your story.
  5. Your sense of time shifts, with time seeming to slow or stop.
  6. The writing experience becomes its own reward; you enjoy the writing itself.

Doesn’t that kind of absorbed, trance-like writing sound like fun? That’s an experience I’d want to repeat on a daily basis!

Second: What’s Your Reason for Writing?

In Part 1, I talked about a few reasons for writing, and why writing only for money or fame or to impress someone won’t help you get into flow. “A point often missed by novice writers,” says Perry, “is that by zeroing in on one or more of the right reasons–for you–you’re more likely to find the one that will help you enter flow and keep writing in spite of frustration and rejection. You must feel strongly motivated to get fully absorbed in the writing, if flow is to follow.”

Remember, your reasons for writing are your own! Jot the following question in your journal: “So why do I write?” Then take plenty of time to answer it.

Write down all the TRUE reasons you write. No one ever needs to see this. You might write because you have an insatiable curiosity about the world or the private lives of people. You might have had a disturbing childhood that left you with many questions, and you write for the answers. Maybe you write because you need someone to listen. Maybe you believe you have the answers to XXXX and you need to share your wisdom with the world.

Find Feedback

This doesn’t mean find a critique group. To write in flow, you need to train yourself to listen to yourself. Popular novelist Elmore Leonard said, “I say my sentences inside my head until they chime with some kind of turning fork.” Other writers read their work aloud to find the rough spots. [I’d be rich today if I had a nickle for every student who told me that they knew something was wrong with the ending–or plot twist, or motive–but they were hoping I wouldn’t think so. I thought so.] Pay attention to that inner writer, especially during revisions, that gives you the feedback that “something is off here.”

Please note, however, that paying attention to your inner feedback does NOT mean encouraging those critical inner voices that tend to harshly judge your writing. Nor do you want to entertain thoughts at this time of what some editor will think of your idea. This kind of feedback will keep you from finding that relaxed flow state.

Feel Competent

In order to make flow possible, you have to find a way to feel both competent (not overly anxious) and keep your interest high (not bored). Many writers don’t outline because they don’t want to write a story they already know. It’s boring to them, and they lose interest. On the other hand, some writers (like me) like outlines because without them, the anxiety level rises to the point that they’re blocked. Everyone is different. There is no right or wrong here, but you must find for yourself the right combination of subject matter and planning for your stage of career.

When I started writing thirty years ago, I couldn’t feel that my writing skill “was fairly well suited to the challenge” unless plots were outlined, character sketches were detailed, and I knew the ending clearly. I needed that much planning for the anxiety level to come down far enough that the writing was fun. It was many years before I was comfortable enough to write without a greatly detailed outline. However, other writers are bored with “cranking out stories” where they won’t be surprised along the way.

What About Rewards?

I’ve had to plan rewards plenty of times for getting through a piece of writing. It was either writing I didn’t want to do, but it would pay some bills, or writing that felt too far “above me” in difficulty. But if you want to write “in flow,” in that timeless sense of joy, you will need to find reward in the writing itself.

If it’s boring, work to make the plot more interesting, more surprising, deeper. Make something happen in the story that fulfills a wish of your own! If your story is causing you so much anxiety, stop and figure out why. If you haven’t done enough planning or research to feel comfortable, do that first. (You can do that part in flow too!)

How to Use Key #1

Some practical ways to find your reason to write include:

  • Reflect on why you want to write in general, or why you want to write this particular project.
  • Keep your ideas to yourself instead of talking about them; write them out first.
  • Define success for yourself. (Writing regularly and enjoying it is my idea of success!)

Next time we’ll address Key #2: thinking like a writer. Keep the long-term goal in mind: writing more and enjoying it!

No Motivation or Willpower? A Simple Solution

Motivation is a great thing to have, but note this: it’s unreliable. And because it’s unreliable, motivation is NOT a good strategy for making change in your writing life.

Motivation to write comes and goes. I love when it’s there. I love that “can’t wait to get to the keyboard” feeling about telling a story. I had it yesterday, as a matter of fact. Today a headache and list of unexpected “to do” items have derailed my motivation to get into the writing zone.

Willpower? Won’t Power!

The only alternative seems to be using willpower, but that’s a limited resource. You might start the day with a full tank of willpower. If nothing siphons off any of it, by the time you get to your writing, you can look at your goal and be determined. You can use that willpower to write those 2,000 words or whatever your big goal for the day includes.

But many things can use up willpower. Maybe before your writing time–which for many writers is later in the day–you have wrestled with a big decision. Or you went to the gym when you really didn’t want to. And you forced yourself to be pleasant to the clerk who wouldn’t get off her smartphone to wait on you. (Or you dealt with an obstinate toddler all morning.) We use bits and pieces–or big chunks–of willpower throughout the day. If you have little left when your writing time rolls around, you will look at your goals list (“write tomorrow’s blog post,” “outline chapter three,” “write 1,000 words”) and go to the fridge instead.

What’s the Answer?

Counting on motivation to help build good writing habits will give you mixed (and often disappointing) results. Feeling motivated is wonderful, but it is more of a bonus that you can’t count on. Motivation, based on your feelings, comes and goes. It can be affected by anything: low energy, headaches, rejection of any kind, you name it. If you base your writing success on being motivated, it will be very on-again-off-again. It won’t be the daily habit you want that will make you the most productive, help you grow the most, and let you truly enjoy your writing.

So, is it hopeless? No! You can count on writing habits.

As Stephen Guise, author of Mini Habits: Smaller Habits, Bigger Results, said,

when you’re not motivated to do something, the “willpower cost” skyrockets. And when willpower cost is high, it makes it difficult for you to sustain a behavior over time (and build it into a habit).

Remember: willpower is limited. And I know from many years’ experience that if you grit your teeth with the Nike slogan on your lips (“Just do it!”), you’ll be productive and get sick. Not the happy solution you’re looking for.

For years, I believed those were my only options. I’d work hard to pump myself up with motivation. And when the motivation sagged, I’d invoke the willpower. And when I was low on willpower, I’d push harder and “just do it.” And then I’d get sick (sometimes from gorging on too much sugar, a dead-end in itself.)

Mini-Habits Trump Motivation and Willpower

As I mentioned in Tuesday’s blog, Not Enough Willpower to Reach Your Goals? Make Mini Habits!, creating mini-habits takes care of both problems (no motivation and low willpower). It is almost bizarre how our minds play tricks on ourselves. For days my goal was “write at least 2,000 words.” I just couldn’t get started. Each day had a different reason, but I didn’t feel motivated, I didn’t want to do the work to get motivated, and my willpower was low.

But when I switched to mini habits with mini goals, it all changed. My mini habit of “write 50 words” has consistently gone over the goal (and often over the 2,000 mark). It takes me so little willpower to get started if I only have to do 50 words and can quit. (That’s maybe 5-10 minutes of writing.) I still kept the goal at 50 words. [NOTE: My goal this morning was just to write 50 words for the blog–I’m up to 829 so far and not tired. But when I feel resistance kick in, I quit.]

Most important, I am building in my writer’s brain the idea that I write daily. I am also building the idea that getting started is easy. That might not sound like much, but it’s an area that has perplexed and depressed me much of my writing career.

A Simple Solution

Even if this sounds too simple, I urge you to try “mini habits” if a consistent writing life is a problem. Use tiny bits of willpower for mini goals. Realize that you can write every day, and often more than you intended. That will make you feel motivated from the inside fairly often. But even when you don’t feel motivated to write, you will know it doesn’t matter. Motivation is a bonus, but not necessary, because by then you will be in the writing habit.

And as we all know, writers write. That just means that writers have the habit of writing, plain and simple.

Writer Imaging (Part 3)

(First read “Writer Imaging” Part 1 and Part 2.) Here are the final attributes of a happy writing life…

4. Staying focused on the positive. View your writing life as a series of opportunities and growth experiences, even though some experiences (like rejection slips) may involve pain.

Daily there are good things to focus on though. Focus on the excitement of finding a good idea, or researching a fascinating subject, or working in a quiet library where you can still smell the stacks of books.

In the same vein, avoid worry, anger and depression wherever possible, and if it’s a part of your life, stop and deal with it. In The Right to Write, Julia Cameron says: “the truth is that too much torment and too much depression can make it as difficult to write as to make the bed, wash the dishes, do the laundry. To the depressed person, writing may present itself as one more chore. For this reason, we are actually working on our writing when we directly address the larger issue of our happiness.”

5. Spending time socializing with other writers. Form writing and critique groups. One word of caution, though: choose WORKING writers, not just people who like to talk about writing someday or go to workshops. Choose writing friends who actually are committed to writing consistently and trying to improve.

Iron sharpens iron. You need writers who will hold you accountable, not for sales, but for trying, for studying the markets, for revising, for doing thorough research, for your daily journaling, or whatever writing activities you’ve chosen for your growth. And if the writers you meet with stop writing, don’t feel compelled to remain in the group. Drop out and find other working writers to socialize with. You will help each other along.

The Whole Truth and Nothing But 
Believe it or not, winning an award or being on the bestseller list would NOT change your writing life, either for better or for worse. That’s because fame and fortune (both which are fleeting, I’m told) are not the elements of a good writing life any more than being thin guarantees happiness for women.

Incorporating the above five elements in your life will do a lot more for creating a happy writer. The best part about this news is, of course, that these five attributes are totally under your control. They don’t depend on the shifting markets, changing times, or fickle public taste.

Each attribute of a happy writer’s life is attainable by every writer. So start today. Right now. Change your perceptions of what a successful writer’s life entails. (It’s probably better than you’ve imagined.) Then go out and make it happen for yourself.