Make Good Use of Your (Over)Reacting Habit

“10 Habits of a Successful Writer” was the article title in the writer’s magazine. Same old, same old, I thought, intending to skip over it. After all, I knew the rules by heart: write every day, write what you know, write first in the day, etc.

Then I glanced at the actual list of writing habits, and none of those “rules” were there. Instead I saw things like “the habit of rehearsal,” “the habit of ease,” and “the habit of reacting.”

I was hooked.

The article by Donald M. Murray (writing teacher and Pulitzer Prize winner) was a reprint of a 1992 article. On “the habit of reacting,” he wrote:

“I am aware of my reaction to my world, paying attention to what I do not expect, to what is that should not be, to what isn’t that should be. I am a student to my own life, allowing my feelings to ignite my thoughts… I notice my writing habits, and from that grow this article. I see signs for a house tour, feel an unexpected anger at the smugness of those who invite tours into their homes, and end up writing a humorous piece about an imaginary tour through a normally messed-up house, ours. I have taught myself to value my own responses to the world–and to share them with readers. I build on my habit of reacting.”

Value YOUR Reactions

This jolted me!

I’ve spent most of my adult life trying to curb my reactions. Because of my personality, I tend to react quickly (instead of stewing quietly), have strong opinions about everything and everyone, and think I know how to fix everybody and every injustice I see. (“Oh, Kristi, calm down,” is a phrase that always annoys me.) Obviously, for the sake of my relationships, I’ve had to learn to keep most of my critical opinions to myself and stop trying to fix people and situations, many of which are none of my business anyway.

But try as I might, the inner opinions and reactions don’t stop. Sometimes I think I will pop a cork if I have to keep quiet one more minute. (Literally, I leave the room sometimes to get a grip on my mouth.) While all this is well and good–and necessary for peaceful relationships–I think it’s had a negative effect on my writing.

I was discussing this with a writing friend–the problem I was having infusing enough conflict into my novels lately. Everyone had become so “nice.” Few strong opinions were expressed by my characters anymore, and they mostly kept their feelings hidden. I found them boring and, for the first time in my writing career, I was abandoning projects half-finished.

The Habit of Reacting

My personality type will probably never stop reacting, but after reading this article, I decided to write down all the strong reactions I have to people and things and situations. Instead of biting my tongue till I implode or get a headache, I write in my “reaction journal.” In it I say what I really feel and think about the events of my day.

Later, when appropriate to a plot, I’ll let my characters react! They’ll say the things I’m thinking behind my bland tolerant smile. They’ll say the things I no longer feel are right or necessary to say to people inhabiting my real world. It will keep conflict out of my relationships, but add it to my characters and stories where it will do some good.

I am beginning to understand why Julia Cameron (of The Artist’s Way fame) says, “Keep the drama on the page.”

Journal Through the Summer (Part 2)

(First read Journal Through the Summer–Part 1) Journaling has many purposes and uses–and here are some more!

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Journaling Dreams

Journal through your summer by exploring your dreams and daydreams. Give yourself free rein to imagine the kind of life you’d love to live. No restrictions. Journal about where you’d like to live, things you’d like to experience, new foods you’d like to eat, different hobbies you’d like to try. Let your mind wander off onto all sorts of delightful tangents, then capture those daydreams in a journal.

You’ll begin to notice common threads. Perhaps you’ll discover all your daydreams cen­ter around creating more simplicity in your life. Perhaps they express a need for more adven­ture. Perhaps they’ll uncover a buried dream or goal from long ago. Slow down, and take the time to get to know yourself again.

Journaling Creativity

Use a summer journal to explore more facets of your creativity. Perhaps you’ve written and published numerous nonfiction pieces. In your journal, experiment with poetry. Draw a pic­ture. Write an essay or a fairy tale. Create some song lyrics. Write a fantasy story if you’ve always written modern-day thrillers. You may be surprised to uncover hidden talents in areas you never explored before.

Use a summer journal to take snapshots. In addition to using a camera, use your jour­nal. After you snap a picture of Grandma reading to your son, write a journal entry describ­ing the scene. Be liberal with sensory descriptions, and use all your senses. Describe the lilt in Grandma’s voice, the tattered childhood book, the creaking of the rocking chair, your son’s terrycloth sleeper, how he curls into her bent arm. Capture memories with the sensations of the moment. I intend to keep a journal when my daughter’s new baby arrives in a few weeks. I’ll take a million pictures, but I also want a written account of those first days and weeks of the baby’s life. It will contain treasured memories to enjoy myself and share with others.

Switch Gears

If this summer’s crowded calendar has you throwing up your hands and walking away from your computer for a season, take heart. Your writing isn’t over for the summer. Instead, switch gears. Buy a notebook and pen, and this year journal your way through your summer.

Has this summer journaling idea given YOU any ideas of how you can use your summer “chaos” to further your writing?

Journal Through the Summer

I’ve received a lot of email from writers and blog readers about the difficulties of writing during the summer. Kids and grandkids are home from school, vacations are taken, company arrives. Is there a way to keep writing, despite all this?

Yes. You can journal through the summer.

I wrote this article (first part below, second part on Tuesday) for my book, Writer’s First Aid.  It’s from the section called “Work Habits That Work for You.” Hope you find it helpful!

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For a variety of reasons, writers often have difficulty writing during the summer. Your children may be out of school and underfoot, or you may have a house full of company. You may have trips and vacations planned. Warm weather may entice you onto the beach or golf course. Whatever the cause, you’re thrown out of your writing routine. Sometimes you stop writing altogether and lose your momentum. One solution? Journal through your summer.

Journaling is a hobby with many advantages. It’s inexpensive. A cheap spiral notebook will work just fine. Your journal is always available, and all you need in the way of equip­ment is a pen. Journaling can be done at any time of day, in any type of weather, for as long (or short) a time as you desire.

Are We Having Fun Yet?

Journaling is meant to be fun. Don’t put expectations on yourself during journaling time. Forget about your performance, and don’t critique yourself. Relax. Let go. Writers need a place to write where “enjoyment” is the only requirement. Ask yourself frequently, “Am I having fun?” If not, loosen up. Write from your gut. Be totally honest. If you can relax and have fun, you’ll eventually discover the natural writing “voice” within you. You won’t have to try. Your unique voice will simply flow out onto the page.

Journal the Joys

Journaling during the summer has many advantages. If you’re traveling, it can provide written snapshots of the people you see, the places you go, and the things you do. (Back home, these descriptions easily translate into nonfiction ideas or into characters, settings, and plots for your stories.) If a special event is scheduled–a wedding or the birth of a grandchild–journaling is ideal for capturing those special, once-in-a-lifetime feelings. If you’re surrounded by active children, journaling provides a practical and convenient way to capture creative ideas on the run, since a useful journal entry need take no more than 10-15 minutes.

Journal the Blues

Journaling can also be beneficial in helping you work through unpleasant feelings that sum­mertime sometimes produces. Perhaps your cross to bear is your in-laws’ yearly two-week visit. Journal beforehand, journal during the visit, and journal afterwards.

Before they arrive, write about your feelings of dread. Remember (on paper) the past visits. Describe how you hope this visit will go, then brainstorm ideas that can make that dream a reality. During their visit (perhaps late at night) journal your frustrations, failures–and successes! Use the journal for a dumping ground of negative feelings. (Be sure to hide the notebook!) After they return home, a journal can be used to process the visit. How did it go? What did you learn? What would you do differently next time? Was there improvement? (Later, these notes could become a how-to article on structuring a successful in-law visit.)

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The second part will be on Tuesday. Feel free to add your own ideas for journaling in the summer in the comments!

Writing to Heal

How essential is writing to your basic well-being? Does not writing distress you?

I’ve been thinking about these questions this week as I’ve journaled and worked through the book Writing For Emotional Balance: A Guided Journal To Help You Manage Overwhelming Emotions. I shouldn’t be surprised anymore, but I was astounded at the relief (and practical help) I found simply through journaling.

I use the Life Journal software, password protected, and I found it so helpful, coupled with the exercises in the book. Writing means a lot to me for many reasons: a way to heal, a way to make a living, a way to connect with readers, and a lot of fun.

So I have this question for you: 

What does writing mean to you?

To kickstart your thinking, here are some famous writers’ opinions. Ray Bradbury is quoted as saying: “Writing is survival… Not to write, for many of us, is to die. I have learned, on my journeys, that if I let a day go by without writing, I grow uneasy. Two days and I am in tremor. Three and I suspect lunacy. Four and I might as well be a hog, suffering the flux in a wallow. An hour’s writing is tonic. I’m on my feet, running in circles, and yelling for a clean pair of spats.”

What does writing mean to you?

Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple, said: “Writing is a matter of necessity and that you write to save your life is really true and so far it’s been a very sturdy ladder out of the pit.” She sees writing as a safe and strong and dependable way out of a pit.

Again: What does writing mean to you?