encouragement

Writers: Choose Your Friends Wisely

Published on by Kristi Holl

As I pack my bag this week to head off to the “Sharing Our Hope” workshop, I give thanks for the writers I know that will be there and the new writing friends I expect to make. 

We writers need to nurture our creative sparks, rather than snuff them out (or allow someone else to do it). This requires a lot of appropriate self-care: solitude, healthful eating and sleeping habits, and a mentally stimulating environment.

Is that enough? No.

Self-Doubts

Early in my career (like 30 years ago), I had all those things. I was very disciplined, ate right, walked daily, studied hard, and took time to dream my ideas into stories and books that sold. Yet my self-doubts grew along with my list of credits, my enthusiasm eventually waned, and I feared my success had been a fluke.

I was puzzled. Although I worked very hard, I was also careful to avoid burnout. I took time to relax with my friends. But, as it turned out, that appeared to be part of the problem.

Friendly Fire

The Bible says there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Today I’m blessed with many such treasures, but in the beginning I noticed that some of my friends said things to me like: “Come on and do this; you’re only writing. You can do that anytime”; “My nephew fell asleep in the middle of your new book”; “That book will never sell with that ugly painting on the cover”; “Jane’s advance was three times what you got”; and “How long does it take to crank out a kiddie’s book anyway?”

Each comment stung a bit. I thought I needed a thicker skin. But truly, with friends like these, who needs enemies?

Safety and Security

What does this have to do with health and self-care for writers? Creativity grows and flourishes when we have a sense of safety and self-acceptance. The writer in you, like a small child, is happiest when feeling a sense of security, and this requires safe companions. “Toxic playmates can capsize our artist’s growth,” says Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way.

Every writer needs friends, but it’s the quality, not the quantity, that counts when it comes to your emotional health. Our choice of friends is critical. We have enough of a challenge when plagued by our own fears of failure or inadequacy without having to deal with someone else’s.

Reasons Friends Turn Toxic

Jealousy makes some people toxic. These friends usually want to write too, but aren’t presently working. If you’re producing pages of a novel or interviewing experts for your magazine article, it’s harder for them to collect sympathy for being the victims of some mysterious block. Undermining your self-confidence is easier than completing their own work. Confront the issue kindly and ask for their support instead. If their put-downs don’t stop, consider ending the pseudo-friendships.

Sabotage from non-artist friends has more to do with your lack of availability. These friends may not understand your need to set aside time to work. Sometimes this becomes an unconscious test of your friendship. Will you stop work and be with them? (You wouldn’t expect your teacher friend to leave her classroom for two hours to go to a movie with you. That’s her work. Well, writing is your work, and every bit as valid.) So what do you do when your best friend shows up halfway through your writing time to go antiquing? Be gentle, be firm, but hang tough.

Plug the Drain!

Be aware also that some friends are so emotionally draining that being with them extinguishes your creativity. A hyperactive, life-of-the-party friend can leave you too wound up to work. Or your friend with serious problems may dump on you until you absorb all her negative feelings. If these draining friendships are valuable enough to you to keep, then choose your contact times carefully.

For example, during my rough draft stages where creativity must be high, I reduce time spent with such friends. I also learned to use my answering machine to screen the ninety-minute, heart-rending calls that derailed my whole writing day. I returned these calls after my writing was done. [Obviously I’m not talking about true emergencies here.]

But writers need friends! A good writing friend is the best kind of friend! On Friday I’ll talk about traits of a true friend–the kind every writer needs and deserves. Stay tuned!

Silent Sabotage

Published on by Kristi Holl

The writing is flowing, you’re accomplishing your daily word counts, you’re in the flow!

Then, without warning, you take a nose dive. You spiral downward to crash and burn. Your writing comes to a screeching halt.

Why?

Silent Sabotage

This phenomenon happens when we least expect it. Silent sabotage comes in many varieties. Here are some of the most common forms for writers.

  • You’re doing well on your writing (your output, your class work, your marketing, etc.) Love those productive days! Then a little voice in your head whispers, “You know it’ll never last. It’s just a matter of time before you’re blocked again. Might as well give up now–you’ll never make it.”
  • You plan to write your blog and study online writers’ guidelines, but you realize you’ve been surfing the Web for half an hour of your “writing” time. You only had an hour to write, and you’ve wasted half of it! How discouraging. A feeling of hopelessness sweeps over you. The voice whispers, “Well, today is blown. You can’t get anything done in the little time you have left. Might as well keep surfing.”
  • You’ve finally finished the story or book manuscript. You’ve worked hard, and success feels great. What a high! The voice whispers, “You deserve a reward, a break from the computer.” So you don’t write the next day…or the next…or the following week or month. Your break turns into a full-blown block, and you just can’t get started again.

Voice Message

So what can you do about this silent sabotage, this automatic negative thinking? Remember, where the mind goes, the man follows.

If you don’t want to crash and burn your writing schedule, what voice messages can replace the sabotage? How can you encourage yourself instead?

  • When things are going well, pat yourself on the back. Remind yourself that “slow and steady wins the race.” If you set goals that are truly achievable on any given day, and you persevere day after day, you will succeed. You will finish that manuscript; you will submit it (and re-submit if necessary.) If you refuse to give up despite rejections, if you are willing to revise, chances are good you will sell it.
  • When you’ve wasted your writing time by playing Solitaire or surfing or writing endless emails to friends, tell yourself (like the dieter who splurged), “Well, today wasn’t my best day. I’ll make good use of the time that’s left. Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it. Today’s mistake is limited to today. Tomorrow I will be even more productive.” Stop the slide down that slippery slope of failure.
  • When you’ve completed a project and feel the need for a break, schedule it. Choose a reasonable length of time (maybe one day for finishing a short story, or a week after finishing a book.) On your calendar also schedule time on the day you intend to get back to writing. Enjoy the time off, but gear up mentally for returning to work when the vacation time draws to a close.

Be aware of your thoughts, and counter the negative ones quickly. Change that voice message. Successful writers have learned how to counter the voices of self-sabotage. You can too!

[What are the voices that torment you? How do you counter them to avoid quitting? Let’s share strategies!]

Learned Optimism

Published on by Kristi Holl

Are you a pessimist? You might be surprised. Choosing to be an optimist, according to author Randy Ingermanson, can change your writing life.

Read his article below, reprinted with permission. It’s long–but worth it!

(By the way, I whole-heartedly endorse this book, Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life.)

What’s Holding You Back?

I recently discovered something about myself that surprised me. Something that makes me take a lot longer to get things done than I should. Something that sometimes keeps me from finishing tasks. Something that occasionally even keeps me from trying in the first place.

I’m a pessimist.

This came as quite a surprise. After all, I’m not nearly as pessimistic as “Joe,” a guy I used to work with. Every time I suggested a new idea to “Joe,” the first thing he’d say was, “Now be careful! There’s a lot of things you haven’t thought about yet.” Then he’d shoot the idea down with rocket-powered grenades.

After a while, I learned not to run ideas past “Joe” because apparently, all my ideas were bad.

I haven’t seen “Joe” in years, and I’m pretty sure I’m not as pessimistic as he is. But somewhere along the way, I definitely went over to the Dark Side. I became more like him than I ever imagined possible.

That’s the bad news. The good news is that pessimism is not forever. You can quit being a pessimist and start being an optimist.

But should you? Aren’t those pesky pessimists more in touch with reality than those annoying optimists?

Yes and no.

Yes, pessimists generally do have a better grasp of the hard realities of the situation. “Life sucks” and all that. You can prove in the lab that pessimists are better at recognizing reality.

But no, no, no, because in very real ways, you make your own reality. We all know about self-fulfilling prophecies. Those work both ways. Optimists are happier, healthier, and get more done. Because they expect to. Pessimists are less happy, less healthy, and get less done. Because they expect to. Again, you can measure that difference in the lab.

If you’re a pessimist and you want to know what’s holding you back in life, just go look in a mirror.

It’s you. But you already knew that, and you were already down on yourself, and now you’re mad at me for blaming you, but realistically, you secretly believe it’s your own darned fault, so you’re really just mad at me for telling you what you already knew.

Sorry about that. I feel your pain. Remember, I’m a pessimist too, and I’m probably a bigger one than you are.

I’m a pessimist, but I’m going to change. Which is actually an optimistic thing to say, and it means the cure is already working.

What is pessimism? And what is optimism? And how do you know which you are?

I’m not the expert on this. Martin Seligman is the expert, and he has been for a long time. Recently, somebody recommended Seligman’s book to me. The title is LEARNED OPTIMISM.

I grabbed a copy off Amazon and began reading. Seligman hooked me right away with his account of how he and a number of other researchers broke the stranglehold on psychology that had been held for decades by the behaviorists.

Behaviorists taught that people were created by their environment. To change a person, you had to condition him to a new behavior. A person couldn’t change himself merely by thinking differently, because thinking didn’t matter. Only conditioning mattered.

What Seligman and others showed was that the behaviorists were wrong. The way you think matters. Thinking optimistically, you could change things for the better. Thinking pessimistically, you could change things for the worse–or at best just wallow in the “life sucks” mud.

There’s a test you can take in LEARNED OPTIMISM that helps you figure out your particular style of thinking. There are three particular aspects to measure:

* Permanence — if things are good (or bad), do you expect them to stay like that for a long time?
* Pervasiveness — if one thing is good (or bad), do you expect everything else to be like that?
* Personalization — if things are good (or bad), who gets the credit (or blame) — you or somebody else?

Optimists think that good things will continue on but that bad things will go away soon. Likewise, they think that good things are pervasive whereas bad things are merely aberrations from the norm. When good things happen, optimists are willing to take a fair share of the credit; when bad things happen, they’re willing to let others take a fair share of the blame.

Pessimists are the opposite on all of these.

I took the test and discovered that I’m somewhat pessimistic in two of these aspects and strongly pessimistic in the other.

That’s not good. But (having now read the book) it’s not permanent. I can change if I want to. Furthermore, that pessimism is in my head, it’s not a pervasive feature of the universe. Most importantly, my pessimism isn’t entirely my fault, because I can see now who taught it to me.

The above paragraph is a model of how to change from pessimism to optimism. Both optimism and pessimism are driven by your beliefs, which are driven by what you tell yourself.

When you change your self-talk, you change your beliefs. When you change your beliefs, you change your behavior. When you change your behavior, you change your life. Chapters 12, 13, and 14 of LEARNED OPTIMISM teach you the techniques you need to change your self-talk.

Let’s be clear on one thing. Optimism is not about the alleged “power of positive thinking,” not about making those wretchedly gooey self-affirmations, and not about telling lies to yourself.

Optimism is about looking for alternative plausible explanations that might lead to improving your life.

Pessimism is about looking for alternative plausible explanations that might lead to disimproving your life.

Which of those is likely to make you happier, healthier, and more productive? Bringing this home to the topic of fiction writing, which of those is likely to help you get your novel written, get it read by an agent, and get it published?

Research shows that optimism is an invaluable tool in dealing with criticism and rejection. If you’ve ever shut down for three days after a tough critique, or stopped sending out query letters for three months after getting a rejection from that perfect agent, then you can see the value of learning optimism.

Optimism will keep you going through the hard times as a writer. And you are going to have hard times. That will never change. What can change is how you respond to those hard times.

There is no way I can explain in 500 words exactly how it all works. The best I can do is to point you to Martin Seligman’s book and tell you that I think it’s gold. I expect this book is going to revolutionize my life in the next year. I hope it changes yours too.

*******

Award-winning novelist Randy Ingermanson, “the Snowflake Guy,” publishes the Advanced Fiction Writing E-zine, with more than 21,000 readers, every month. If you want to learn the craft and marketing of fiction, AND make your writing more valuable to editors, AND have FUN doing it, visit http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/>http://www.AdvancedFictionWriting.com.
Download your free Special Report on Tiger Marketing and get a free 5-Day Course in How To Publish a Novel.

Unlocking Your Potential

Published on by Kristi Holl

Winston Churchill once said, “Continuous effort–not strength or intelligence–is the key to unlocking our potential.”

I believe he’s right. Over the years, the writers I’ve seen succeed weren’t the most talented. They were the ones who refused to give up.

Plugging Away

I pondered that principle last month during NaNoWriMo when I was sick or gone or being interrupted. I also watched the 38 people in my NaNo Challenge Group plugging away through much tougher challenges than I had.

Samuel Johnson said, “Great works are performed not by strength, but by perseverance.” In a like vein, Helen Keller (one of the most determined people you’ll ever read about) said, “We can do anything we want to as long as we stick to it long enough.”

That’s good news to me! Is it to you?

It’s Your Choice

We may not be the most talented writers. We may not be the most clever or well read. We may not have an MFA in writing or be able to afford expensive writing conferences. BUT we can each choose to persevere, to stick to it till we finish.

Know where you want to go, and map out a clear strategy on how you plan to get there. Team up with writing friends and encourage each other. There are many ways to study and grow, ranging from free online courses and books to expensive MFA programs at prestigious colleges.

But in any case, the only person with an advantage is the one who refuses to quit. Is that YOU?

Toxic vs. Supportive Writing Friends

Published on by Kristi Holl

Not long ago, I blogged about how to be your own best writing friend. Sometimes that’s easier said than done because we’re not quite sure what that looks like.

So, with that in mind, I want to chat today about the characteristics of toxic writing friends and supportive writing friends. This should help you to…

  1. identify some good potential writing or critique friends, and
  2. identify if you are being toxic or supportive with yourself.

We writers need to nurture our creative sparks, rather than snuff them out. This requires appropriate self-care: solitude, healthful eating and sleeping habits, and a mentally stimulating environment. Is that enough? No.

Self-Doubts
Early in my career (like 30 years ago), I had all those things. I was very disciplined, ate right, walked daily, studied hard, and took time to dream my ideas into stories and books that sold. Yet my self-doubts grew along with my list of credits, my enthusiasm eventually waned, and I feared my success had been a fluke.

I was puzzled. Although I worked very hard, I was also careful to avoid burnout. I took time to relax with my friends. But, as it turned out, that appeared to be part of the problem: toxic writing friends.

Friendly Fire
The Bible says there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Today I’m blessed with many such treasures, but in the beginning I noticed some of my friends said things to me like: “My nephew fell asleep in the middle of your new book”; “Your book will never sell with that ugly cover”; and “Jane’s advance was three times what you got.”

With writer friends like these, who needs enemies?

Safety and Security
Creativity grows and flourishes when we have a sense of safety and self-acceptance. The writer in you, like a small child, is happiest when feeling a sense of security, and this requires safe companions. “Toxic playmates can capsize our artist’s growth,” says Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way.

Every writer needs friends, but it’s the quality, not the quantity, that counts when it comes to your emotional health. Our choice of friends is critical. We have enough of a challenge when plagued by our own fears of failure or inadequacy without having to deal with someone else’s.

Reasons Friends Turn Toxic
Jealousy makes some people toxic. These friends usually want to write too, but aren’t presently working. If you’re producing pages of a novel or interviewing experts for your magazine article, it’s harder for them to collect sympathy for being the victims of some mysterious writer’s block. Undermining your self-confidence is easier than completing their own work.

Other writing friends have been working hard, but they haven’t sold their writing yet, so it’s hard to be happy for your success. Either way, confront the issue kindly and ask for their support instead. If their put-downs don’t stop, consider ending the pseudo-friendships.

Plug the Drain!

Toxic friends can be so emotionally draining that being with them extinguishes your creativity. Your friend with serious problems may dump on you until you absorb all her negative feelings and can’t write. If these draining friendships are valuable enough to you to keep, then choose your contact times carefully.

For example, during my rough draft stages where creativity must be high, I reduce time spent with such friends. I also learned to use my answering machine to screen the repeated ninety-minute, heart-rending calls that derailed my whole writing day. I returned these calls after my writing was done. I’m afraid that sounds pretty cold-hearted, but it was the only way I could get my writing done.

What about true writer friends–the kind every writer needs and deserves? How do you identify them? What traits in a writer friend do you need to show to yourself?

We all need friends, as writing can be a lonely business sometimes.

Traits of a True Friend
So…what are the characteristics of friends who best nurture our creativity and productivity?

A. Supportive non-writer friends show an interest. They may not understand exactly what you do, but they ask about your current projects (as you ask about theirs). They’re happy for your successes, no matter how small in the world’s eyes.

B. Supportive writer friends pump you up to do your best work, and even act as cattle prods. (“Quit stalling. Sign up for that conference.”) The encouragement of your peers is special. At one point, because of some health problems, I had virtually lost touch with my writer friends for over two years. Until I reconnected at a conference, I hadn’t realized what a grind my writing life had become. Just being together to “talk shop” reminded me that I was a writer. It rejuvenated my enthusiasm.

C. Friends in a working critique group can be a godsend. First, the members offer good constructive criticism to each other. Second, members hold each other accountable (in a kind way) for actually producing some material each week.

D. In a beneficial way, misery loves company! How much better I felt when I attended a retreat to discover that I wasn’t the only one whose books were going Out Of Print or who hadn’t signed a book contract all year. Instead of feeling like an abysmal failure, I then saw my experience as part of the general upheaval of the publishing world.

E. On a practical level, supportive writing friends often share valuable marketing tips (who’s looking for what genre, an agent’s advice about a hot topic). Alone, we writers have little “inside information”; collectively, we have a broader base of knowledge.

Where Are Such Friends?

If you need a change in the friendship area, don’t despair. You can find new supportive friends. As you nurture your writing life and grow in self-confidence, you’ll naturally attract friends (writer and non-writer alike) who are more supportive as well.

This is one area where the Internet has helped enormously. I know many writers who are in critique groups, but they haven’t actually met in person, although they’ve been critiquing for years! And if you are “friends” on Facebook with other writers, or leave thoughtful comments on their blogs, you’ll make supportive writer friends that way sometimes as well. I know many writers who found accountability partners that way, and those writers definitely became friends.

This may sound backwards, but we often have to believe in ourselves before anyone else will. Others often take their cues from us. So learn the characteristics of a supportive friend, and learn to be your own best friend first!

What is a trait you look for in an ideal writer/friend? And how could you show that kind of support to yourself today?

Be Your Own Best (Writing) Friend

Published on by Kristi Holl

Wish you could afford a writing coach to hold your hand and encourage you to write each day?

Me too!

But if that’s not in your budget right now, don’t despair. You can learn to be your own best writing friend.

With Friends Like This…

If a friend from your critique group told you “I just can’t get started on my story today,” what would you say? “Get moving, you lazy do-nothing wannabe!” I hope not!

If your writing friend bemoans receiving another rejection, do you say, “Well, what did you expect? Your novel stinks!”? I would hope not.

Most of us are better friends than that…except to ourselves.

Your Own Best Friend

Listen to how you talk to yourself. When you procrastinate, do you beat yourself up? Do you call yourself names? And to paraphrase Dr. Phil, “How’s that working for you?” Does it spur you on to do your best writing–or to give up and eat a pint of ice cream?

When you receive a rejection, do you downgrade your writing? Do you tell yourself that publishing is just a pipe dream, that it’s for others but not for you? If you’re going through a dry spell, do you secretly call yourself a has-been?

Do you say things to yourself that you would NEVER say to a writer friend?

Time to STOP!

Learn to tell yourself the truth–but with kindness. Be a mirror that reflects back understanding. If you got off course, gently encourage yourself back on the writing path you want to travel.

Not:

  • You’re so lazy that you’ll never get anything written and published.
  • No editor or agent will ever read your novel, much less publish it!
  • You only have friends on Facebook because they don’t really know you.

Say this instead:

  • You may have trouble getting started because you’re afraid of something. Try journaling to get to the bottom of it.
  • You may (or may not) find an editor who loves your novel–but you’ll never know if you don’t keep sending it out. Let’s try one more time.
  • Many people in your real life know you and love you. Make a list. Be thankful for each person on the list.

Be That Good Friend

The next time you stall or hit a rough spot in your work, talk to yourself like a true friend would. Be kind, be understanding, give some praise, and encourage yourself to try again.

You can be your own best friend.

What is one thing you need to start saying to yourself today? Please leave a comment!

Regain the Passion (Part 3)

Published on by Kristi Holl

(First read “Regain the Passion” Part 1 and Part 2.)

How to Regain Lost Passion
If you were passionate about your writing in the past, but haven’t felt that way for a long time, there is a definite sadness mixed in with the lethargy. It feels like falling out of love, and in a very real sense, it is.

Can you stir up the fires of passion for your writing? Can you fall in love with writing and your work again, when all seems dry as dust and just as tasteless?

Yes!

Surprising Sources
Years ago, I struggled with this question, slowly becoming afraid that the boredom and apathy were permanent. I tried to muster some enthusiasm for my book-in-progress, whose deadline was fast approaching, but to no avail.

It wasn’t the book manuscript itself. I knew it was finely plotted, with well placed clues and plenty of tension. The problem wasn’t in the manuscript—it was in me.

Unexpected Lesson

I found the answer to the problem one cold, snowy morning, and it came from the most unlikely source: my dog. We’d had freezing conditions for several days, cutting short my walks with Rhett (my black Lab.) I chained him outside for the day, then hurried back indoors. Playtime was cut short—it was just too cold and windy for me.

I paid little attention to Rhett during that week, although I’d loved him passionately since bringing him home from the pound ten months earlier. As the frigid week wore on, and the weather stayed miserable, I began to resent having a dog. I hated going out in the weather to his snug dog house, carrying water so often because his dish froze over. I became apathetic about Rhett—he was getting to be more trouble than he was worth.

Then one day the sun came out, melted the snow, and temperatures soared. I put Rhett on his leash and took an hour-long walk, complete with Puppy Biscuit rewards for correct sitting, heeling and staying. When we got home, I chained him outside near his food and water, then stayed to play.

I petted, I stroked, I laughed, I cooed. (If you’ve never been a dog owner, you may need to gag here.) Anyone watching me that morning could see I had regained my passion for owning a dog.

Simple Formula
I’m sure you see the parallels. Regaining passion for your work can be accomplished the same way:
A. Pay attention to your work. Think about it when you’re not at your desk. Mull over your theme. Ponder plot points. Have mental conversations with your characters.
B. Take care of your work. Feed it with quotes and good resource books. Do in-depth research and interviews. Immerse yourself in your subject matter.
C. Spend time with your work. Daily, if possible. If you want passion to ignite in anything (a relationship, your work, a hobby) you must spend consistent—and sufficient—time with it. We understand this principle in romantic relationships, but it’s just as true with your writing.

Don’t Settle
Part of the enjoyment of being a writer is the pure passion and pleasure of setting words on paper. Don’t settle for ho-hum, apathetic work. Instead take the necessary steps to revive your passion for writing.

Do it as often as necessary to keep that spark of joy alive!

Regain the Passion (Part 2)

Published on by Kristi Holl

(Read Part 1 of Regain the Passion first.)

When does passion flourish? Under what conditions?

First, a writer’s passion is generally at its highest point when life is going well. (Big surprise!) When relationships are smooth, health is good, there’s enough money to pay the bills, the writer is following a healthy diet and getting sufficient sleep: these are the optimal conditions.

Whatever is draining your passion first needs to be attended to, thoroughly and persistently. Unfortunately, this doesn’t always bring back the passion. It simple sets the stage, giving yourself the optimal environment for your resurrected passion to grow.

Habits of a Passionate Writer
How do you recognize passion for writing? Yes, it’s a feeling, but it’s so much more.

Each writer will exhibit certain habits when she is being passionate about her writing. These habits are individual and personal. Take a moment to make a list of habits that (to you) marks a writer as passionate.

To me, a passionate writer:
A. writes, almost daily.
B. listens, observes and thinks—alert to her surroundings.
C. carries a notebook everywhere to jot down impressions, descriptions and ideas.
D. journals—daily, if possible.
E. is focused—begins and continues her writing with energy.
F. reads other good children’s books, both current and classics.
G. keeps up with professional reading.
H. shares her enthusiasm at conferences and workshops (but doesn’t over-schedule such events so they don’t interfere with writing).
I. leads a more secluded life than the average person, in order to nurture and explore her talent.
J. is physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually healthy.
K. Most of all, passionate writers are 24-hour-a-day writers. Even when washing dishes or cutting grass, the passionate writer’s work is close at hand, on the edges of her mind. Everything she does is writing-related and life-related, so that her work and her life are inseparable.

What did I leave out? What additional things are on your list? (Next time we’ll talk about practical ways to get the passion back.)

Regain the Passion

Published on by Kristi Holl

Has this ever happened to you?

You’re half-way through a short story revision, or the rough draft of your novel, or the research for a biography—and without warning, you lose your desire for the project. The passion evaporates.

You feel lethargic, sad, and brain dead (or least oxygen deprived.) You put your writing away for a few days, hoping it’s hormonal or a phase of the moon or post-holiday blues.

After Some Time…

However, when you dig it out again, it’s even worse. It doesn’t grab you. You’re sure it won’t grab anyone else either! It’s boring. It goes back in the drawer.

Unfortunately, over the next few weeks, the situation worsens. Lethargy turns to apathy. Boredom turns to dislike. You face the fact that, for some reason, you’ve lost your burning desire to write this story—or maybe even write anything at all.

Without the passion, why bother to endure the long hours, the potential rejection of your work, and the low pay? Perhaps the bigger question is this: once it’s lost, how do you recapture your passion for writing?

What is Passion?
The question is summed up well by Hal Zina Bennett in Write from the Heart:

“How do authors connect with that passion, bordering on obsession, that drives them to finish even the most ambitious writing projects in spite of seemingly insurmountable handicaps? What is the secret creative energy that the world’s best writers can apparently zap into action the moment their fingers touch their keyboards?”

Some say this passion is tied to how meaningful the writer feels his work is. He feels passion when what he is sharing is deeply meaningful. He may lose his passion when his writing turns into

  • what will sell
  • what the markets dictate are current trends
  • what pays the most money.

Eric Maisel in A Life in the Arts says,

“The most salient difference between the regularly blocked artist and the regularly productive artist may not be the greater talent of the latter, but the fact that the productive artist possesses and retains his missionary zeal.”

Most writers would agree that a passion for writing involves enthusiasm, excitement, drive, and a deep love for your work. This passion makes writing a joyous occupation. It makes time fly while “real life” is shoved to the far comers of the mind. It’s being in the flow, enraptured in the present moment. For some, it’s being aware that they’re writers twenty-four hours a day.

Why Does Passion Dissipate?
Passion can spring a leak after too many rejection slips, too many critical comments from spouses or reviewers or critique partners, and too many crises to handle in your personal life. Passion can also die when you repeat yourself in your work instead of exploring new avenues of writing.

Lack of passion can also be caused by chronic fatigue.

“Fatigue and the accompanying blockage also come with living the sort of marginal life that artists so often live,” says Eric Maisel. “The effort required to put food on the table, to deal with an illness without benefit of a hospital plan, to pay the rent, to get a toothache treated, to attend to the needs of a spouse or children, can tire out the most passionate and dedicated artist.”

Do YOU sometimes struggle with this issue? Please leave a comment! (Parts 2 and 3 will discuss ways to get the passion back!)

Nourish Your Writer's Soul with Spontaneous Combustion

Published on by Kristi Holl

For the past month, I have been choosing what Nancy Butts calls “activities that nourish your writer’s soul” (from Spontaneous Combustion: A Writer’s Primer for Creative Revival by Nancy.)

In fact, one of the activities I do each day, before I work on my novel, is to read half a chapter or so of Nancy’s book. (Chapters are fairly short.)

It’s much like having a dear writing friend right there beside you who GETS the writing life.

Why Write if Nobody’s Buying?

Even after you are published–maybe even published multiple times by traditional publishers–you’ll hit dry periods. Very dry periods where no one wants to buy from you.

I’ve been there a couple of times, each discouraging period lasting several years.

When it happens to you–not IF–will you quit? Will you hang in there a bit–and then quit? Or will you be like Barbara Pym, someone Nancy suggests should be the patron saint of writers.

After reading Barbara’s story, I have to agree. And with Nancy’s permission, it is reprinted below. Enjoy it–and let it inspire you.

Nourish Your Writer’s Soul

In the 1950s, Pym published six novels: quietly comic books about the lives of spinsters and curates in English villages. She was well-reviewed, had a body of loyal readers, and seemed to enjoy a solid working relationship with her publisher.

Then in 1963 she submitted her seventh novel— and despite her fans, her good reviews, and her history with the publisher, they refused to print it, saying it was out of step with the times. She revised and resubmitted it, and they rejected it again. She submitted it elsewhere, twenty times. And twenty times it was rejected.

Pym was living through a writer’s ultimate nightmare. The people whose opinions she valued— upon whom her very existence as a writer depended— no longer respected her work. She was devastated by this experience. “I get moments of gloom and pessimism when it seems as if nobody could ever like my kind of writing again….” she wrote in 1970. 

Note two things about this quote. Though it was seven years after that painful first rejection from her own publisher, Pym was still writing, despite her despair. She continued to believe in the worth and value of her writing even when no one else did. She continued to write.

That’s why I’ve nominated her as our patron saint.  

Another nine years went by. Pym was diagnosed with breast cancer and went to live with her sister in a small village, and she continued writing, despite the fact that no one wanted to publish what she wrote.  

Bear with me: there is a gloriously happy ending to this tale. In 1977, sixteen years after Pym entered what she called “the wilderness,” two other British writers named her as the most under-rated novelist of 20th century England in an article in the London Times literary supplement.  

It helps to have friends in high places. That same year, Macmillan bought her novel A Quartet in Autumn for publication; it made the short list for the Booker Prize. A second novel followed in 1978, and then a US publisher “discovered” her, and all her works were made available   for the first time to American readers.

It is Pym’s setbacks, not her success, that make her a hero. I call her a literary saint because even in the darkest of times, she was able to show the rest of us the truth and wisdom of this:

Take your writing seriously— even when nobody else does.

Especially when nobody else does.

 So when you can’t remember why you’re bothering to write, think of Pym.