discipline

Spiral UP? Or spiral DOWN? Your choice!

Published on by Kristi Holl

For over a year, I’ve been dealing with three difficult circumstances that impacted everything, causing one downward spiral after another. Since I tend to handle things privately, I disappeared from social media. 

But this fall, I felt the urge to get back to thriving instead of simply surviving.

Easy to say, but hard to do!

Self-Examination

I had picked up some escapist survival habits that were more engrained than I first believed. I had great intentions at the beginning of the day; however, failure to follow through happened with regularity (like many times daily). One or two poor choices flipped me into that excuse of “I’ve ruined today, so I’ll start again tomorrow.”

I don’t think I’ve had a perfect day yet where I made good eating choices, writing choices, and relationship choices without fail. And my lightning quick brain finally realized perfection wasn’t EVER going to be possible. Not this side of heaven anyway. But I finally learned something critical that improved every area that needed healing:

Every poor choice is the beginning of a spiral. Like a circular staircase, you can either spiral up or down. You always have two options, and you get to choose.”

Spiral Down Fast

Each day contains at least one poor choice we make. (Often it is several.) A poor choice is one that doesn’t fit your goals. It could be a writing goal, a health goal, a time management goal, or a relationship goal.

A poor choice could be

  • scrolling social media during your writing time,
  • eating two sugary donuts,
  • binge watching TV till midnight, or
  • snapping at your child.

Your first poor choice is your critical choice moment. 

You can make a poor choice and SPIRAL DOWNWARD FAST. Imagine yourself at the top of this twisty slide. One push, and down you go, around and around until you hit bottom.

Practically speaking, what might that look like?

  • You can decide that the day is already ruined when you eat a donut for breakfast. So, you eat junk food and sugar bombs the rest of the day.
  • You feel guilty, so you add binge watching a favorite TV series until you are blotto.
  • You put away your manuscript again to tend to your headache, and
  • give the obstinate child the silent treatment for good measure.

Choice #2: Spiral Up (Slowly but Steadily)

On the other hand, you can make THE VERY SAME POOR CHOICE, then decide to SPIRAL UP SLOWLY, STEP BY TINY STEP, instead. 

You can stop the downward trajectory immediately by taking a small step UP.

  • After your donut, you might brush your teeth or plan a healthy lunch.
  • You might close all the live streaming tabs on your laptop.
  • You might turn to where you left off during your last writing session and re-read the page.
  • You might apologize to the child and hold her on your lap for a minute.
  • You might take a slow, five-minute walk to interrupt your negative thinking.

Continual Choices

Yes, the upward spiral is a slower path, but it’s a steady path of growth. The steps up don’t have to be big at all. And you can take lots of pauses to refresh with a stretch or walk around the yard or enjoy some planned treat with a favorite book.

The downward spiral that comes with several poor choices is a slippery, speedy easy path that comes with a hard landing. But even then, it’s not all over.

Pick yourself up at the bottom of the slide. Choose the upward spiral staircase right away, and just focus on the smallest step right in front of you. And after a pause, when you’re ready, take another step up. And eventually another. 

Every single poor choice throughout your week is just the beginning of a spiral. But whether you spiral up or down is entirely up to you. It really is. Pause. Relax. Breathe deeply. (And if you’re like me, pray for help.)

REMEMBER: the poor choice is the first step in both sequences. The direction (of your day, your week, and ultimately your life) is your CHOICE.

 

Compartmentalize to End Procrastination . . . But How?

Published on by Kristi Holl

When re-reading Getting It Done by Andrew J. DuBrin, PH.D., I came to a section on dealing with procrastination. One piece of advice is something I’d like your feedback on. I have struggled to compartmentalize as he suggested. Except for occasional months here or there, I haven’t acquired that skill.

The author said you can make progress with procrastination if you “compartmentalize spheres of life.” He says that if you have multiple demands on your time that seem overwhelming, “mentally wear the same blinders placed on horses so they can concentrate better on the race and not be distracted.”

Box It Up!

I would love to be able to do that on a regular basis! Are you able to compartmentalize? I agree with the author that procrastination is more tempting when multiple demands are swirling and competing in your mind.

I think that male writers have an advantage here. They seem able to put things in boxes, tape the lids shut, and then deal with one box at a time. (I know this for a fact because I can tell when I am being put in the “wife” or “Nana” box while trying to write!) I was thinking about this topic just last week when someone showed me this article.

Women, however, mix things up instead of compartmentalizing. Our concern for our child’s health or marriage problems or a sibling’s financial crisis “bleeds over” into our writing time. And we tend to feel guilty if we’re happily typing away while a member of our family is in trouble or needs us.

‘Fess Up: How Do YOU Compartmentalize?

So…please share your wisdom with me. Men, if you can explain how to put things in boxes or make blinders work, please advise. Ladies, if you’ve figured out how to push aside your other concerns while you write, please share. Is the key just starting small? (Compartmentalize for 2 minutes, then 5 minutes, then 10?)

I bet we could all use some tips! [Added later: you might want to read the tips people are leaving. There is a wealth of ideas there.]

100% Is a Cinch!

Published on by Kristi Holl

“There is a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.”

(Ken Blanchard, author of the best seller The One Minute Manager) 

Without a 100% commitment to anything, you spend so much time (and energy!) every day deciding whether or not to keep the commitment. If you’re truly interested in writing–but not 100% committed–you probably fight with yourself nearly every day over whether or not to stick to your writing disciplines.

I fought that for more than twenty years. Long enough! It was high time the writing and marketing (necessary these days if you want to have a writing career) became absolute non-negotiables.

No Matter What?

What if we lived the rest of our lives the way we live our writing life? Instead of the “should I write today, or shouldn’t I write?” daily hassle, we’d be fighting nearly everything! But we don’t. We make 100% decisions all the time. Examples:

  • I never pass a bank or gas station and fight with myself about whether to pull in and rob them. I don’t steal. Ever. And I don’t intend to. So I don’t have to waste time and energy thinking about it.
  • I don’t agonize over spending money I don’t have. I hate debt–always have. I don’t take on payments, and I don’t intend to. So I don’t have to waste time and energy thinking about it.
  • I don’t agonize over whether to brush my teeth after I eat breakfast. I don’t want my teeth to rot. Ever. And I don’t waste time and energy thinking about it.

Make That 100% Commitment

We all have things we’ve made 100% commitments to: exercise programs, drinking water, tucking our kids into bed every night, not swearing, getting to bed by eleven, praying…you name it. Isn’t it time we made our writing commitments 100% too?

And you know the kicker? Studies have proven that it’s actually far easier to keep a 100% commitment than a partial commitment.

Try it and see for yourself!

Talent, Passion, and Discipline

Published on by Kristi Holl

As a writer, don’t ever under-estimate the power of self-discipline. Talent, passion, and discipline are needed–but the greatest of these is discipline.

Best-selling author Elizabeth George speaks to this point on the first day she faces her students in her creative writing classes. Study this quote from her book, Write Away–and read through to the zinger at the end.

“You will be published if you possess three qualities–talent, passion, and discipline.

You will probably be published if you possess two of the three qualities in either combination–either talent and discipline, or passion and discipline.

You will likely be published if you possess neither talent nor passion, but still have discipline. Just go the bookstore and pick up a few ‘notable’ titles and you’ll see what I mean.

But if all you possess is talent or passion, if all you possess is talent and passion, you will not be published. The likelihood is you will never be published. And if by some miracle you are published, it will probably never happen again.”

Be Encouraged!

This is great news for all writers, I believe. We worry sometimes that we don’t have  enough talent, that we have nothing original to say, that our voices won’t attract today’s readers. But as Ms. George says above–and after writing and teaching for thirty years, I totally agree–discipline is what will make you or break you as a writer.

Why is this good news? Because self-discipline can be mastered, bit by bit, day by day, until it’s a habit. Talent is a gift over which we have no control, and passion comes and goes with our feelings and circumstances. But your necessary ingredient to success–discipline–can belong to anyone.

Do whatever you have to do to develop the writing habit. Let that be your focus, and see if the writing–and publishing–doesn’t take care of itself!

Chop! Chop! Writing in 20-Minute Slices

Published on by Kristi Holl

Thirty years ago I read an article that said writing was like eating a salami. You’d choke if you tried to swallow the whole thing at once. Slice by slice, though, it was easy.

Life has been hectic lately, with few large chunks of time to work. So I went back to creating 20-minute tasks for my “slices of salami.”

The Challenge of Chopping

Chop, chop! How do you break writing tasks into those 20 minute slices? At the beginning of the summer, I made a three-page single-spaced list of such tasks, covering several project areas (a novel revision, a possible nonfiction e-book, some work-for-hire educational writing, and marketing).

The beauty of the list to me is that I don’t have trouble getting started. I pick a task–not necessarily in the order listed–set my timer, and get going! Since getting started has always been my biggest hurdle, the list goes a long way toward getting me over that hump.

Examples of Short Writing Tasks

If your main project is fiction, and you only have 20-30 minutes to write, pre-thinking is critical before you sit down at the keyboard. Otherwise you’ll waste your time getting started and focusing. I became skilled at pre-thinking when I was first taking the ICL course because I had a preschooler, a toddler and a newborn. I wrote in 10-minute slices back then.

I made long lists of tasks for the short stories I wanted to write. The tasks covered such things as outlining steps, “creative steps” like thinking of character and setting names, mechanical steps (e.g. write opening paragraph), revision steps, and marketing steps.

The list of short fiction “slices” would include things like:

  • Think of three titles
  • Revise titles to be more suspenseful
  • Decide on main character’s name
  • Decide on ending
  • Write physical character description of mother
  • Look up street names and weather in XXX town

Nonfiction “slices” might include:

  • Fact check xxxxx
  • Organize sources into alphabetical bibliography list
  • Revise (or tighten) opening

Examples for marketing might be:

  • Find three agent blogs to read
  • Find three publishers’ blogs to read
  • Read one blog post and leave a comment
  • Set up a Twitter account
  • Get domain name at GoDaddy.com

I was going to list some of my own 20-minute tasks for you, but I realized they wouldn’t mean anything to anyone but me. (e.g. search/replace name change, check epiphanies re: p. 194 MAC, make “sense” lists for each scene in last chapter) But I think the examples above give you a better idea of breaking things down into small slices.

Estimating Time Needed

Realize that it’s difficult to estimate times correctly. Sometimes I gave myself twenty minutes to do a certain task, and it only actually took me five minutes. Other times, the task took me three 20-minute periods to finish.

For example, in the past, one of my 20-minute tasks was to set up my author page on Amazon.com. (I had needed to do this for more than fifteen years!) My friend did hers in 20 minutes, but even though we were adding the same amount of info, I took three 20-minute times to finish mine. It took me the first twenty minutes just to read and understand the directions, another twenty to write the bio, and another twenty to add the book jackets and video trailer. (Actually there was another twenty minutes spent later because some of the dust jackets wouldn’t load, which I gave up on.)

Fight Overwhelming To-Do Lists with Slices

Life is too busy and overwhelming at times. Yet we need to keep writing so we don’t lose the flow and continuity.

I hope these examples have given you ideas for breaking down your own writing projects into do-able slices. You won’t choke if you take one tiny slice at a time. Now…go eat that salami!

Drains in Disguise

Published on by Kristi Holl

I was wrong–again.

For twenty years, I’ve told students and wannabe writers that you have to put the writing first! Do it before other things take over your day.

Fight the impulse to clean your kitchen first, or straighten your office, or clean up the mess the kids made before leaving for school.

“But I can’t work in chaos,” writers protest.

You know what? Neither can I anymore–at least not well! And when I force myself to, the work is doubly tiring. Doubly stressful. Much less satisfying.

Energy Drains in Disguise

Something I read today made me realize my advice might be a tad off. Not wrong altogether, since if we don’t make writing some sort of priority, we won’t do it. However, to eliminate energy drains in your life, you need to look at the whole picture. Certainly all the things you do in a given day take your energy. Every action you take on your lengthy “to do” list uses energy.

What you may not realize is that actions you don’t take use energy as well. Your disorganized office, the piles of laundry on the bedroom floor, the stack of bills to pay, the two birthday gifts to buy, the clothing needing repair–all this drains your energy reserves as well. It happens whether you are looking at the unfinished business or just thinking about it.

It siphons off energy that could be used in a much more positive way. “These items on your mental ‘to do’ list, the ones you’ve been procrastinating about, distract you or make you feel guilty and drain the very energy you need to accomplish your goals.” (So says Cheryl Richardson in Take Time for Your Life.)

NOT an Excuse to Procrastinate

Taking care of the unfinished business that nags at your mind–and keeps you from feeling like you can settle down to write–may be necessary before you can tackle your writing assignment. Don’t go overboard though, or you’re just procrastinating. Washing the dirty dishes is one thing–taking time to replace the shelf paper in your pantry is something else.

Figure out the things that you MUST have done to feel at peace in your environment, and do those things ONLY. (It helps to do as many of them as you can the night before too.)

Eliminate the chaos in your environment, and you’ll eliminate a LOT of the chaos that blocks your writer’s mind. Now…off to clean my office.

Uncommon Perseverance

Published on by Kristi Holl

The last two weeks we’ve talked about the stages of success. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the one quality that is a “must have”: perseverance.

According to the dictionary, “perseverance” is steady persistence in a course of action, especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

This year I worked with a young writer who embodies this quality and has inspired me not to quit when things get difficult.

Uncommon Obstacles

It started last year when he wrote and asked me to critique his first YA novel of about 60,000 words, the first in a trilogy. I had an opening and told him to send it. He asked if I could print it off on my printer as he was a soldier deployed in Iraq and without a printer. He’d written the book there. (It was a very good and suspenseful story.)

Last month I heard from him again. The second book in the trilogy was finished. Could I look at it? And yes, he was deployed again and was sending the manuscript from Iraq.

Lessons Learned

I thought about the whining I had done over the years about being tired, the excuses I gave for being too busy to write every day, and the lack of support of a weekly writers’ group. And then…there’s a young soldier with a wife and two little ones back home who is deployed in a war zone–who grabs his spare minutes and writes two lengthy novels! I know he gets little sleep, I know he’s busy, and I’ll bet my bottom dollar he doesn’t have a weekly writing group!

But he writes.

Today I considered skipping my writing stint because my back is really hurting. Then I thought about the obstacles Kevin overcomes to write–and I sat down to write anyway. Time to develop some of his uncommon perseverance. (Enjoy today’s art, also courtesy of this young soldier. Love that frog!)

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NOTE:  For those of you in the San Antonio, TX, area, I wanted to give a little plug for our fall conference: Southwest Texas SCBWI Fall Conference It’s Saturday, September 17, 2011 from 8:30 AM – 4:30 PM (CT)

The SCBWI event is featuring:

  • Andrea Welch – Editor, Beach Lane Press (Simon & Schuster)
  • Elena Mechlin- Agent, Pippin Agency (HarperCollins)
  • Kristin Daly Rens – Editor, Balzer and Bray
  • Author Diane Gonzales Bertrand
  • Kim Murray, Online Media Specialist with Piccolo Media
  • Richard Johnson, InteractBooks

Check it out!