attitudes

Writing Strategy: Acting AS IF

Published on by Kristi Holl

(First re-read the last post: New Twist on the Thought-Feeling-Behavior Writing Cycle.)

After three very busy weeks (two new grandbabies, lots of travel, a conference, two work-for-hire deadlines), I was finally able to sit down for a lengthy time yesterday and write on my novel.

Or so I thought.

I sat down all right, but once I finally had an uninterrupted moment to think, a certain situation that has been bothering me for months came flooding back. I couldn’t concentrate on my novel, and I was up and down. I walked. I ate. I sorted laundry. I worried. I ate some more. Later in the day, I Skyped a friend. But I didn’t write until…

Ah, Yes, I Remember

I picked up a book by Kelly L. Stone that was still sitting on my desk. She’s the author of Living Write: the secret to inviting your craft into your daily life. I flipped through it and landed on the chapter called “Acting As If.” I knew this was a phrase from my old recovery group days basically meaning “fake it till you make it.”

I reviewed the thoughts-feelings-action cycle. Since my thoughts were unruly, and my feelings were haywire, I figured that “acting like a writer anyway” was my best option. I read her chapter on “Acting As If.”

Writing Strategy

Here are a couple snippets to think about:

  • People draw conclusions about themselves through observation of their own behavior just as they draw conclusions about other people based on observation of their behavior.
  • Simply act a certain way based on your ideal Writer Self-Image, and over time, you become what you are acting.

Attack that Cycle!

A licensed professional counselor, Stone had many practical suggestions about how to act “as if” you’re a confident writer, act “as if” you’re a self-motivated writer, act “as if” you’re a self-disciplined writer, act “as if” you’re a future-focused writer, and act “as if” you’re a task-oriented writer. [I definitely recommend her book.]

I used one suggestion in the “task-oriented” section, acted “as if,” and got to work. Even though it was later in the day, I had the evening free and ended up with one of the most productive writing days I’d had in a long time. (I’m re-reading Stone’s chapter first thing today though!)

Don’t give up. We’re all in this together, and I’m grateful for writers like Kelly Stone who share what works for them!

New Twist on the Thought-Feeling-Behavior Writing Cycle

Published on by Kristi Holl

“Enthusiasm, motivation, and dedication are necessary for your success as a writer,” says Kelly L. Stone, author of Living Write: the secret to inviting your craft into your daily life.

But…what if you don’t have all those emotional tools (the enthusiasm, motivation and dedication) at your disposal?

“Don’t worry,” says Kelly. “They can be learned as part of the thought-feeling-behavior cycle.”

Same Old Thing? Not!

I’ve heard before that thoughts cause your feelings which cause your actions, and you probably have too. However, Ms. Stone gives a very helpful twist to the “you can change how you feel and act by changing how you think” mantra. And this “plus” makes the idea instantly useful to anyone trying to improve her writing life.

How? By seeing this as a cycle, not a linear set of events. I’d always heard that you had to go in order–1, 2, 3. You change your thoughts first, then your feelings would change, and then your behavior would change. However, this author claims (and I agree after trying it out) that it’s not a straight line, but instead a cycle that runs like a loop.

What does this mean to writers? It means that if you change any one element of the cycle, you will by necessity change the other two parts. You don’t have to start with changing your thoughts if you don’t want to–or if it feels too hard. You can change your writing life by changing whatever is easiest for you.

Practical Terms

For example, maybe you’re a Nike-Just-Do-It! kind of writer. You can’t bring your thoughts or emotions into subjection, but you can grit your teeth and sit yourself down at the keyboard right on schedule. If that’s true–if controlling behavior is the easiest part of the cycle for you–then skip worrying about your thoughts and feelings and hit the behavior first.

Maybe it’s easier for you to deal with feelings. I know a perky, sanguine writer who tackles feelings first. Her depressed anxious feelings rebound to optimism just by taking a nap! However, maybe for a variety of publishing and non-publishing reasons, your feelings about writing are sour, and fixing those ricocheting feelings is a losing battle. Then tackle another part of the cycle that is easier for you. (Personally, no matter what I’m going through, I find controlling or changing feelings the hardest part.)

Of the three aspects of the cycle, thoughts are easiest for me to change. It means I have to tell myself the truth, but in a kind way. Over the years, for many problems that I faced, I learned the importance of positive affirmations based on truth. (e.g. Getting started is hard for all writers. Rejection is part of the writing game–writers live through it. My self-worth is NOT based on sales.) I saw that repeating these truths daily for weeks and months could totally reprogram my brain and change my attitude, my feelings, and the resultant actions.

No Right or Wrong Way

The point? Whatever part of the cycle is easiest for you on any given day, do that. You only need to change one element of the cycle in order to affect the other parts. One day you might find it easiest to self-talk your feelings into shape; other days it might just be easier to sit down and write and forget about your depression for a while. Whichever aspect you choose, it will affect your writing.

If you think more positively about your writing, your feelings will improve and you’ll find yourself wanting to sit down and write.

Or you can work on the feelings part: the author suggested saying, “I love to write!” whenever your feelings were negative. Those improved feelings will prompt you to write, and writing for an hour or two will change how you think about yourself.

Or work on the behaviors part–bribe yourself to sit down and write each morning for a set amount of time, and see how that reprograms your thoughts and feelings about yourself as a writer.

It All Adds Up

Changing one aspect of the cycle changes them all. You may have to experiment to find which part changes most easily for you. Instead of succumbing to a downward negative spiral, one change and you boost the cycle upward.

“You can see how thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are directly connected,” says Ms. Stone. “This is why learning to control your thought-feeling-behavior cycle is so important–because it’s cumulative and self-perpetuating.”

Which part of the cycle do you suspect would be the easiest part for you to change ? Leave a comment below!

Calming the Writer's Soul

Published on by Kristi Holl

I sat down to write four times this morning, but my mind simply wouldn’t stop jumping the tracks.

One second I’d be thinking, “This backstory paragraph slows down the opening and should be moved.” The next minute, with a catch in my throat, I was thinking about Laurie again.

Get a Grip!

My daughter is on her fourth deployment (Afghanistan this time). Being her fourth tour, you’d think I’d have a better system for mind control, but not today, for some reason.

I pray a lot, email her, try to write, and it lasts for just a few minutes. So, like all writers who can’t focus, I check email. I love Thomas Kinkade paintings, and someone had emailed me the above picture. I just sat and stared at it for a moment, feeling the peace steal over me.

Peace Like a River

While I don’t often have time to steal away and sit by a stream–something always so calming–I plan to “sit” by my Thomas Kinkade stream several times today. I made it the photo on my desktop, so all I have to do is minimize what I’m working on, and there it is!

Without leaving my computer, I can walk along that little footpath, sit on a rock by the stream, and watch the water flow by. What a great use of technology and our imaginations. When my worries have floated away, I can go back to work.

Writing is a mental activity, so emotional issues interrupt that activity. During stressful times, find things that work to calm you…and then pick up your pen again. [NOTE: if you have a simple idea like this one that works for you, please share it!]

Calling All Introverts!

Published on by Kristi Holl

I laughed out loud when I read the quote below–mostly because it describes me so well. How about you?

“You have your day scheduled out, given over to the expectations of others. You brace yourself for what’s ahead. Then you get a call. The day is cancelled; everyone who needed you is down with a three-day virus. Is there anything more delicious? You know what I’m talking about. We don’t like others to be sick, but we love others to cancel. We become giddy at the prospect of ‘found’ time–time without plans or expectations. Time to think.”

Introverts Unite!

This is from a book called Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength by Laurie Helgoe, Ph.D. She is great at defining introverts.

Contrary to what you might have heard, introverts are not geeky, shy wallflowers, or antisocial. We’re introverts (by definition)  because we “recharge our batteries” in solitude or in quiet one-on-one conversations, while extroverts can get recharged in noisy party-type settings with lots of people.

Introverts are not a minority–we’re just quieter than noisy extroverts. A recent large study showed that introverts comprise 57% of the population. That was a surprise to me. I always felt like I didn’t fit in with the masses. As it turns out, introverts are the masses!

Introvert Writers

I suspect that many writers are introverts. Otherwise, we might not enjoy spending so much time alone writing. And it would explain why our favorite thing to do is read and our favorite places are libraries and bookstores.

Much of the book is about celebrating being an introvert, and then using your introvert traits to thrive in an extrovert country. (Americans prize being extroverts, whereas the Japanese prize being introverts.)

How About You?

Are you an introvert? Will you admit it? (This sounds like Introverts Anonymous: “Hello. My name is Kristi, and I’m an introvert.”) If you think you are, what’s hard for you being an introvert in an extrovert world?