Domino Effect: Watching Good Habits Fall into Place

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: goals, habits, writing

I read a lot about habits. I used to focus on breaking bad habits because I had a lot of them. Then I had a few so-so years where things were mediocre. That was better, but not the life I wanted, especially in my health and career. Enter the studies on building good habits that stick. I wanted vibrant good health and a career where I could afford to write what I loved . . . period.

My favorite “habits” books (by writers James Clear, Neil Fiore, Michael Hyatt, and Stephen Guise) pointed out a concept that was a huge turning point for me. I often overwhelmed myself with lists of goals (physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, and career goals.) I tried to do them all because they ALL seemed important to me. That would last a week, tops. Usually less.

What’s the Answer?

Then I noticed a concept that Michael Hyatt called a “push goal” and James Clear called a “keystone habit.” It pinpointed the ONE habit that, if accomplished, made all the other habits so much easier to do! For some people, exercise is that habit. (If they do that first thing in the day, they are more disciplined all day long in other habits.) For others, the keystone habit is a time of quiet devotions first thing in the day, to gain clarity and peace and make the remaining day’s habits much more likely to be achieved. Yet others are like me now: my keystone habit or push goal is sufficient sleep!

A bad night’s sleep or very shortened hours usually means that my following day will include more junk food, more Netflix, less exercise, and less writing because of headaches and brain fog. A wonderful night’s sleep gives me a day just the opposite, ending with satisfaction that I am further along the way to all of my goals. This is referred to as the domino effect.

Your keystone or push goal habit often changes as you age or go through various life circumstances. When my children were toddlers and babies, my keystone habit was my quiet time in the morning, even if it started at 4:30 a.m. A few years later when I was working full-time, my keystone habit revolved around my evening/bedtime routines so that my systems were place for the next day. Right now, with age and an autoimmune disease, my push goal habit is a good night’s sleep. (That includes what it takes to get one, like less screen time at night and eliminating certain foods.) 

Take Time to Evaluate

Look at your own life and goals. Really think about this. Which one or two habits, if faithfully followed, give you overall better days than if you achieve any other goal? After you identify that goal or habit, push it to the top of your list. Make it small at first so you actually do it. (Walking 15 minutes is a better push goal than running for an hour, at least at first.)

Identify your one keystone habit. Do it daily. And then watch those dominoes fall!

Wounds from the Game of Writing: Earning Battle Scars

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: emotional healing, perseverance, writing anxiety, writing challenges

Wounds: we all get them.

During the 1988 Jamboree encampment of 32,000 Boy Scouts, one troop (38 Scouts) led the entire Jamboree in cuts treated at the medical tent.

The huge number of nicks from busy knives sounded negative until someone toured the camp and saw the unique artistic walking sticks each boy in that troop had made. They led the entire encampment in other kinds of games, too.

Wounds simply mean that you’re in the game. It’s true for Boy Scouts—and it’s true for writers as well.

What Wounds?

I know an excellent writer who has revised a book for years. But she won’t submit it, even though everyone who has read it feels the book is ready. What benefit does she get from that? She never has to face rejection. She never has to hear an editor say, “This is good, but it needs work.” She never has to read a bad review of her book, or do any speaking engagements to promote her work, or learn how to put together a website.

She will also never feel the exhilaration of holding her published book in her hands. She won’t get letters from readers who tell her how much her book means to them and has helped them. She won’t get a starred review or win an award or do a book signing. She won’t move on and write a second (and third and fourth) book.

Paying the Price

If you want to be a writer, you have to risk a few wounds. Figure out ways to bandage them and recover from them, but don’t be afraid of getting them. They’re simply a sign that you’re a writer. 

Make a list of the parts of the writing life that make you want to stay on the sidelines and out of the line of fire. It might be a fear of rejection, a fear of approaching editors or agents at a conference, fear of online harassment on social media, fear of walking into a writing group for the first time, fear of your mother’s reaction to your novel, fear of bad reviews, or something else. There are books out there for writers dealing with all of these things. Identify your issues, deal with them, and then get in the game!

And later, wear your battle scars proudly!

Six Days Until NaNoWriMo–Time to Gear Up!

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: NaNoWriMo, writing, writing challenges

NaNoWriMo (the shortened name for National Novel Writing Month) begins November 1st. I wasn’t planning to join this year, but I realized this week that (for several reasons), I had lost momentum on my novel since coming home from England.

So what better way to get back in the writing habit pronto than joining NaNoWriMo again? It’s worked for me in the past, and it’s free!

Instead of explaining what NaNoWriMo involves and how to prepare for it, I will point you to a previous post that should answer many questions. Exploring the NaNoWriMo website will answer the rest. If you need a shot in your writing arm, or a kick in the pants, there’s hardly a better way to get you writing a lot than NaNoWriMo.

Is NaNoWriMo For Me?

Here’s a good overview of the November event, including all the “extras” you get when you sign up (pep talks by famous writers, an archive of pep talks dating back to 2007, three free writing-focused classes with handouts to help you prepare for November, and much more!)

However, PLEASE NOTE: I am NOT running a challenge group this year. The challenge mentioned in the older article was just for that year. Even though I’m not running a challenge or accountability group this year, I may team up with one other person to hold me accountable. Sharing the struggle and the victory is always sweeter with a writing friend.

Fight Back: The Importance of Reading and Writing Fiction

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: psychology of writing, writing life

Not everyone understands why we love to read fiction. With a sniff and upturned nose, it has been called a “waste of time” by many. And when we first begin writing fiction, we may also have trouble justifying using precious free time “just to write stories.”

Reading is more acceptable to some if you read nonfiction. After all, you’re learning something. You’re stretching your mind. You aren’t wasting time on “mindless entertainment.”

However, if you write fiction, some people are not as understanding, especially if they don’t read it themselves. I once had someone close to me say that I only made up stories because I couldn’t handle the real world. That stunned me and hurt, but part of me wondered if there was a grain of truth there.

I both read fiction and wrote fiction because I wasn’t too happy at the time with my real world. I did read to escape (and I had since childhood). And it’s true that for many years, I used stories to right some wrongs and make life turn out the way I wanted it to (e.g. reconciled relationships, or nailing the bad guy, or solving a problem.) I know that “they say” not to write fiction with a message, but those middle-grade novels won the most awards and generated the most letters from children, so not everyone agrees.

Is Reading and Writing Fiction Valuable?

I couldn’t explain it at the time, but I knew instinctively that there were VERY GOOD REASONS for both reading fiction and writing it. I knew in my heart of hearts that I wasn’t wasting time. I knew that I had learned some of life’s most valuable lessons from good stories, lessons that stuck with me much longer than any self-help reading I had done. I sensed that I was doing something good that had value, both for myself (when reading) and for others (through writing fiction).

I wondered if others had the same questions and concerns. A quick search online found dozens of articles on the benefits of reading fiction. So if you question the deep importance of reading or writing the stories you love, check out a few of the articles listed below. You’ll be reassured. And you’ll be eager to open that novel at bedtime or tackle another chapter on your work-in-progress.

Reading and writing fiction is NOT a waste of time. Far from it! 

For Your Reading Pleasure 

If you still have doubts about the importance of reading fiction or writing fiction, ponder these ideas:

  1. The Surprising Power of Reading Fiction: 9 Ways it Make Us Happier and More Creative
  2. 5 Surprising Ways Reading Fiction Benefits Your Mental Health
  3. The Benefits of Reading Literary Fiction That You May Not Know
  4. 10 Reasons Christians Should Read Fiction
  5. Why Christians Should Read More Fiction
  6. Why Reading Literary Fiction is Good for You

The Fun Side of Research: Local Color

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: research, writing

Even though I had done months of reading and research before my stay in the Yorkshire village of Settle, I learned so much more by living there a month. 

How I loved all the small town events in the village: folk singing many nights in the pub, a weekly market day every Tuesday, the weekend organized hikes up into the moors to see caves and waterfalls, and talks at the library and museum by people with first-hand accounts of events. And while I didn’t see any front porches with swings, nearly everyone had a gorgeous flower garden out front or window boxes bursting with blooms. This usually meant plenty of gardeners to chat with when you went for a walk.

I will talk later about the people I met, the museum programs I went to, the help I received from two authors and a museum curator there, and the retired folks who told fascinating stories of WWII involvement and working on the railroad during the steam train era. That kind of research was invaluable. Just as colorful, though, were the little local traditions that varied from village to village, the things that made each village unique.

The Settle Flowerpot Festival

One fun tradition in this small village involved making flower pot people and animals for their annual flower pot competition. The event was over by the time we visited Settle, but a few of the homes and businesses still had them on display. So, just for fun, here are a few. Will I use this information in the book I’m working on? Maybe. It’s authentic local color, the kind of detail that hadn’t shown up in anything I’d read or seen online. 

These are just a sampling of the flowerpot people and animals I saw on my walks. Can you tell what these creatures are?

   

  

  

  

Simple fun. Certainly creative. The fun side of research.

 

I’m Overwhelmed! Where Do I Start?

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: organization, overwhelmed, procrastination

I got home from England late Sunday night after being gone a month. I don’t sleep on planes, plus I ended up delayed in London overnight because of fog. So by the time I got home, I was still operating on UK time and had had only ten hours sleep total in three nights.

The following morning, as I surveyed the month’s worth of mail (mine filled a large grocery bag), plus the suitcases, the boxes I’d mailed ahead, a calendar filled with events and appointments this week, and the cleaning that beckoned for attention (my husband had returned three weeks earlier to go back to work) . . .  well, overwhelmed was a good descriptor for my sluggish brain.

Back to the Real World

So I did what every good writer does at times like these. I checked email. While this has not been terribly helpful in the past, this time I discovered an unread blog post that cleared my mental fog. It pointed me in the right direction and set me on a productive course for the day. It was called “A Better Life Begins With Clarity,” written by the mini-habits authority, Stephen Guise.

Cut to the Chase

In the article, Guise asks one pertinent and powerful question that will help anyone who is overwhelmed. (I won’t tell you what it is, in the I hopes that you’ll click over and read his entire short article.) The question cut through my mental fog immediately! As he suggested, I asked myself the question throughout the day as I tackled one thing after another—and also when it was time to rest periodically. It broke the log jam of overwhelmed thoughts.

In coming posts, I will share some things I learned and did the three weeks of my research trip when I was alone in England. It turned out to be even better than my hopes and expectations, which were plenty high. But that’s for my next several posts. In the meantime, as the picture indicates above, I need to close some more “open tabs” today. [By the way, I couldn’t find an attribution for the image above, nor could I find if it was copyrighted. If any of you know, please pass along that information in the comments.]

Borrowing Habits

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: habits, Uncategorized, writing challenges, writing habits

Back in college, I had a friend who lamented, “If only I could run on my stomach!”

She loved to run, never missed a day, and had thighs of steel. She also loved to eat, never missed a snack, and had a stomach like the Pillsbury Dough Boy. If only she could apply her running skills to her eating problem!

Actually, she could have. And you can make better use of your own good habits, applying those skills to your writing. You can transfer some good habits from one area of your life and apply them to an area where you want to be more consistent—like your writing.

The “successful role model” in the Jack Canfield quote above could easily be YOU.

Who, Me?

“But I don’t have self-discipline in anything!” you might say. You may feel that way, but it’s probably not true. Don’t believe me? Think about something you’re good at. Next, write down five or six habits you practice regularly that make you successful in this area. (Can be anything: running races, keeping a clean house, raising children who are kind to each other, keeping your weight stable through the holidays…anything.)

I Don’t Think About It

Perhaps you said, “Well, I was a good student” or “I learned to play the piano,” but you’re not sure what habits made you successful. If that’s the case, pretend that someone approached you and said, “I’d love to be as self-disciplined as you are with your (fitness, music, housekeeping, whatever). Tell me how you do it!” Then make a list of what you do. Which of those habits can you transfer over to your writing life and make them work for you?

The habits that help you lose weight or be fit or run a business might include:

  • having a support system
  • keeping a written record (of food eaten, miles run, income/expenses)
  • setting very small, sustainable daily goals
  • journaling through successes and failures
  • monitoring self-talk to counter-act negative thoughts and beliefs

Borrow Those Habits!

The next time you can’t seem to make yourself write or blog or do market research (or whatever is on your “to do” list for the writing day), think about areas where you are successful. Borrow those habits–they’re habits you already have under your belt in one area–and simply apply them to your writing.

  • Does having a support group help you lose weight? Then maybe a support/critique group would help you be accountable for your writing.
  • Does keeping written records help you balance your budget? Then maybe keeping records of pages or words written and marketing progress would help your writing.
  • Did setting small daily goals help you get your closets and garage clean? Then would setting small daily goals help you get your book written?

By the same token, notice what you don’t do to be successful. For example, I have friends who swear by having an exercise partner or going to a gym to work out. (I dislike both of those things.) So while these writers also have critique partners and write in coffee shops with others, I don’t find either of those ideas helpful either. We all have our own styles, based on our personalities. I do much better as my own accountability partner, using kitchen timers and check marks on a calendar for everything from cleaning my house to writing my novels. And total quiet is such a benefit to me, while it makes some writers too antsy to sit still and work.

Build on Past Success

Good habits free up our time and attention so we can focus on more important things than overcoming procrastination. Chances are very good that you have had success in at least one or two other areas of your life. Take time to analyze those habits that work for your particular personality–and try applying them to your writing life. Success may be easier than you think.

Writing á la Pavlov

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: getting started, writing, writing challenges, writing life

In previous weeks I’ve shared why I went AWOL for months, the need to rest, reflect and realign, how to re-figure your writing output, and how to avoid burnout in the first place.

What if you’re ready to write again?

You may not have hours every day to write, or you may have tight deadlines. So you need to make the most of your time. And that means getting started quickly. 

Write on Cue

A jump-starting activity is something that makes your brain realize immediately that “now it’s time to write!” If Pavlov’s dogs could be trained to salivate at the ringing of a bell, I thought surely I could learn to write on command.

Rituals and Routines

I’ve always loved reading about other writers’ rituals, the things they do to “prime the pump” for writing. I never felt much need–nor wanted to use the writing time–to do much of that myself. The writing exercises would take me 30-60 minutes and Julia Cameron’s morning pages took me an hour. (I consider myself a pretty fast writer, but most of the things that “only take 10-15 minutes” take me considerably longer–including these blog posts.)

What I needed, I realized, was a short cue along the lines of the ringing bell for Pavlov’s dog. I needed something to trigger an automatic writing response–and it needed to be something I could do at home, on the road, or when staying with my grandkids.

Time-Tested Help

If your writing time is short–and you need to get started quickly–here are some rituals and routines that other writers have used:

  • Light a special lamp or candle
  • Put on a particular kind of music that works for you (Lyrics? Instrumental?)
  • Prayer, meditation and/or affirmations for writers
  • Hot tea or hot chocolate
  • Eat a banana or apple or something healthy
  • A short walk–ten minutes or so
  • Stack dishwasher, pick up house (Some writers do this for their jumpstart, but it doesn’t appeal to me!)

Again, I needed short things to do. The danger is always that the ritual takes over your whole writing time. If you have all day to write, that’s a different ball game. You can take a whole hour to get started, if you want to.

Make a List

It’s a good idea to have a number of rituals to choose from too. “Create as many practices as you can, because sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t,” says Vinita Hampton Wright in The Soul Tells a Story: Engaging Creativity with Spirituality in the Writing Life. “Their effectiveness will vary. When one thing doesn’t help so much, go to something else…adapting practices according to the season of the year.”

This makes sense to me. While in the winter, a good cup of hot chocolate is perfect, during hot Texas summers, it’s about the last thing you want. I think a written list posted near my writing space would be a good idea too. I might have a whole list of rituals to choose from, but so often when I try to think of one, they all escape me.

If you want to read more about the power of these little habits, see a book by Mason Curry called Daily Rituals: How Artists Work. In the book 161 artists, writers, and other creative types give insights into the specific rituals they use to get the creative juices flowing on command.

And doesn’t that sound appealing?

Honor the Writing Process

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: habits, writing, writing life

Every piece of new writing is a voyage into the unknown. There are things you can do that help the writing process–many things! There are just as many that dishonor the writing process.

[Reminder: While writing in England, I am re-posting favorite articles from the past. This one from four years ago still helps me today!]

Wiser published writers than I am often say, “You have to honor the process.” What does that mean exactly? I think it means you have to accept the complexity of writing, how it happens for you, and what you need in order to nurture the process. (Simple example: If you know you need seven hours of sleep in order to write well the next morning, you honor the process when you go to bed early enough to sleep those hours. You dishonor your writing process by staying up till all hours and arriving at the keyboard the next morning in a mental fog.)

Ways You Dishonor the Process

There are many ways we unknowingly and accidentally dishonor the writing process. We may:

  • get a great idea for a story, but wait until we have time later to write it down, and when “later” comes, we can’t remember it.
  • rush into writing a rough draft before we’ve given the idea time to gestate.
  • tolerate habits detrimental to our health.
  • allow such critical voices in our heads that everything we write sounds like rubbish, so we give up in discouragement.

We all probably dishonor our writing process in different ways, depending on personalities.

Ways You Honor the Process

If you wanted to honor the writing process, you might:

In Deep Writing, Eric Maisel made this observation:

“I hope that you’ll take seriously the notion that you can help or harm the writing process and that, in a corner of awareness, you already know which of the two you are doing… When you find the courage to explore your own truth about honoring and dishonoring the process, some writing successes are bound to happen.”

What about you? In what ways do you honor the writing process? Make one small change today that honors your writing. (And then, tomorrow, make another one!)

Not Enough Willpower to Reach Your Goals? Make Mini Habits!

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: habits, Uncategorized, writing habits

“Focus on the process and you’ll be able to change your circumstances.” (Stephen Guise, author of Mini Habits: Smaller Habits, Bigger Results)

[While writing in England, I am re-posting favorite articles from the past. This one from four years ago still helps me today!]

One lesson I learned on my sabbatical was that my goals and desires outstripped my willpower.

I had high hopes and high expectations for the three months of the media “fast,” but I rarely was able to stick to my very carefully crafted daily schedule. It wasn’t the interruptions or distractions either. I simply felt overwhelmed by the goals I had set, even though I KNEW I had plenty of time to do them.

Goal Intimidation

I hadn’t scheduled 12-hour writing days or anything. In fact, on paper, they looked quite easy for the days I was home alone all day:

  • 2 hours writing  
  • 2 hours studying writing techniques (books, online classes, etc.)
  • 1 hour reading and research

Piece of cake, right? Especially since this was work I really, really wanted to do!

Willpower Burnout

I’ve survived and pushed through and gritted my teeth and met deadlines and ignored headaches for decades…using willpower. But as I faced writing several mysteries for adults that I signed contracts for, my willpower took a hike. I have no idea where it went, but it’s gone into hiding. When the willpower left, the panic arrived.

And then I read the book pictured above. I have read a lot of books on focus, self-management, and the like. Most I don’t finish, to be honest. Many I never get past the first few chapters. I had finally decided that there was nothing new under the sun.

But reviews for Mini Habits were wonderful and by people struggling with the same issues I was. I bought it and started it, not with any real hope, to be honest. But I couldn’t put it down and finished it in a day.

Mini Habits

The author’s scientifically researched, experience based, easy-to-read and understand book says this:  

You can succeed without the guilt, intimidation, and repeated failure associated with such strategies as “getting motivated,” New Year’s Resolutions, or even “just doing it.” In fact, you need to stop using those strategies if they aren’t giving you great results…It’s only when you start playing by your brain’s rules and taking your human limitations seriously–as mini habits show you how to do–that you can achieve lasting change.

From Hopeless to Hopeful

I couldn’t wait to try it. I was honestly amazed that something this simple could be so effective and stress-free!

And what are my new (silly sounding) daily mini writing goals?

  • Write or revise 50 words  
  • Read and do one page of my current craft or study book 
  • 15 minutes of research or professional reading

Has it worked? YES! For me, feeling overwhelmed and getting started has always been the hardest part. Having mini goals in order to create habits is so EASY. And just as he predicted, most of the time you’ll go over your mini habit goal. [For example, I am writing this blog using my “write 50 words today” goal. Until now, I forgot to check the word count, but it’s up to 406 right here.]

However, the next time I sit down to write, I will NOT “adjust my goals up” and tell myself I must write 400 words minimum. No…my internal resistance to writing that much is almost immediate! A goal that size uses a lot more willpower. (Maybe not for you, but it does for me. We’re all different.)

My new writing goals for the day are so EASY to do, so non-threatening, that I don’t miss a day. The writing habit gets ingrained, my mind now believes that getting started is easy, and later in the day I often WANT to sit down and knock off another 50 words (which, more often than not, stretches past 1,000 words before I want to stop.)

If getting started or developing a daily writing habit with ease is your goal, I high recommend Mini Habits. Give it a try!