Health Update: All is Well!

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: health, writing

I appreciate SO VERY MUCH all the emails over the past few months inquiring about my health.

It was a long summer, but all is well now. In lieu of personal responses, I hope you’ll accept this post. Each question and concern and prayer meant the world to me.

So, in summary:   

My eyes… 

I had my third eye surgery in July, and it did the trick! The surgeries back in February and May weren’t as simple as we expected, so I couldn’t see for a while, but the corrective surgery in July fixed the issue. How grateful I am to live in a country and a time in history when these things can be corrected. 

My broken right hand …

My pinkie finger still isn’t in the right place, but it is moving closer to its correct position with regular rehab. I make fewer typing mistakes now! When walking, I probably look like a helicopter about to take off as I rotate my (formerly) broken right hand and (formerly) broken left wrist. The trick is to keep moving! 

My head, brain, and arteries…

The severe infection in my face and jaw in May was corrected, but it sent doctors on a hunt to see if there was a bigger problem than I thought. (I have had chronic pain in my face for 33 years since a trigeminal nerve was cut during a surgery.) Anyway, long story short, they worried that the pain might be coming from a brain tumor or blocked carotid artery. Four brain scans later, I have confirmed reports of NO tumors and CLEAR arteries everywhere! So full steam ahead now.   

Again, thank you for your notes and prayers. I really appreciated every single one!

Warning: Two Toxic Areas in Your Writing Life

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: balance, self-care, Uncategorized
Brain concept illustration

I am fascinated by brain books for the layman, and seeing how that information applies to writers. (See three book links at the end.) Information from the new brain research–if actually applied–could change your writing life.

One book, Who Switched Off Your Brain?, deals with what the author calls “the Dirty Dozen” areas in our lives where we create our own problems, often by well-meaning efforts. This toxic behavior can steal our dreams–including our writing dreams.

Two of the dirty dozen that hit me between the eyes were “toxic seriousness” and “toxic schedules.” 

AHA! #1: Toxic Seriousness

I’ve known for years that negative emotions like anger and unforgiveness can literally make you physically sick. But did you know that an absence of fun in your life can make you sick too, susceptible to every virus that comes along?

Laughter IS the best medicine!

For a lot of reasons, I grew up with the firmly entrenched idea that “life is a serious matter.” People who didn’t take life seriously annoyed me. I thought they simply didn’t understand the situation!

Well sometimes life is no laughing matter, but you still need to incorporate more fun in your life. [I finally understood why I felt so much better physically after spending time with my grandkids, despite being tired. I laugh a lot more on those days!]

Did you know this? Studies show that...

“a really good belly laugh can make cortisol [the stress hormone] drop by 39% and adrenaline by 70%, while the ‘feel-good hormone,’ endorphin, increases by 29%… Laughter boosts your immune system by increasing immunity levels and disease-fighting cells.”

Another medical study showed that humor gets both sides of your brain working together, which is so necessary to writers. We need to be both creative and editor-minded (left-brained and right-brained) in order to do our best writing.

So take time to bring fun into your life today–and every day. Look for the humor in situations–or even yourself. Watch a funny video. Read something that tickles your funny bone. Tell a joke!

AHA! #2: Toxic Schedules

My “toxic seriousness” went hand-in-hand with what the author called “toxic schedules.” One had a direct impact on the other. My overly serious attitude about life leads to an over-scheduled week that doesn’t work unless I invent a 48-hour day. And, of course, a packed schedule adds pressure and just reinforces an overly serious attitude.

Current brain research shows that there’s a lot more at risk than just being tired when you over-schedule yourself. Of particular interest to writers, without sufficient relaxation in your lifestyle,

“you will become a less effective thinker, defeating your ability to accomplish the mental tasks that stole our relaxation in the first place. In fact, for the brain to function like it should, it needs regroup/consolidation time. If it doesn’t get this, it will send out signals in the form of high-level stress hormones, some of which are epinephrine, norepinephrine and cortisol. If these chemicals constantly flow, they create a ‘white noise’ that increases anxiety and blocks clear thinking and the processing of information.”

To put it another way, relaxation is NOT a waste of your time. You’re doing your brain–and all of your writing processes–a big favor.

Live–and LEARN

So how did that information impact my life? I spend plenty of time with my grandkids (ages 6, 8, 14, and 17), guaranteed to produce the belly laughs I need. And I take off one day during the week ALONE to rejuvenate (yes, I’m an introvert). I do spend Sundays at church, visiting family, relaxing with hubby with a movie, and hiking. Sorry to say, but I find that tiring too. But if/when I get the day off alone (or even just several guilt-free hours), I sleep like a rock and face the work week rejuvenated.

I’d encourage you to make some guilt-free habits along the same lines to bring laughter into your life and margins of time into your days. Until you try it, you won’t believe the difference it can make in your writing life. If you have small children, work out a deal with someone you trust to trade half-days of child-free time. I wish I had done that when my kids were small.

Just curious…what kinds of things make you laugh? I’d like to incorporate more laughter into my life. Please give me ideas below!

For more information and links to three terrific “brain” books:

 

Compartmentalize to End Procrastination . . . But How?

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: compartmentalize, discipline, efficiency, focus, procrastination

When re-reading Getting It Done by Andrew J. DuBrin, PH.D., I came to a section on dealing with procrastination. One piece of advice is something I’d like your feedback on. I have struggled to compartmentalize as he suggested. Except for occasional months here or there, I haven’t acquired that skill.

The author said you can make progress with procrastination if you “compartmentalize spheres of life.” He says that if you have multiple demands on your time that seem overwhelming, “mentally wear the same blinders placed on horses so they can concentrate better on the race and not be distracted.”

Box It Up!

I would love to be able to do that on a regular basis! Are you able to compartmentalize? I agree with the author that procrastination is more tempting when multiple demands are swirling and competing in your mind.

I think that male writers have an advantage here. They seem able to put things in boxes, tape the lids shut, and then deal with one box at a time. (I know this for a fact because I can tell when I am being put in the “wife” or “Nana” box while trying to write!) I was thinking about this topic just last week when someone showed me this article.

Women, however, mix things up instead of compartmentalizing. Our concern for our child’s health or marriage problems or a sibling’s financial crisis “bleeds over” into our writing time. And we tend to feel guilty if we’re happily typing away while a member of our family is in trouble or needs us.

‘Fess Up: How Do YOU Compartmentalize?

So…please share your wisdom with me. Men, if you can explain how to put things in boxes or make blinders work, please advise. Ladies, if you’ve figured out how to push aside your other concerns while you write, please share. Is the key just starting small? (Compartmentalize for 2 minutes, then 5 minutes, then 10?)

I bet we could all use some tips! [Added later: you might want to read the tips people are leaving. There is a wealth of ideas there.]

Uncluttered Office Equals Focused Mind

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: distractions, focus, time management, writing, writing challenges, writing life

Are you ever overwhelmed by clutter (even good clutter)?

This will be primarily a photo sharing blog post—and you can skip to the last half of the post if you want to—but I want to share what prompted my office decluttering project.

I have a small 10-foot X 10-foot office which holds a treadmill/desk, a computer desk, a large table, and nine bookcases. 

Plenty of room for books, right?

You’d think so, but I also had books stacked everywhere, and no place to work or spread out research and papers. I have writing deadlines I must meet this summer, but I couldn’t settle down to work in my terribly cluttered office.

What To Do When Life Happens: Buy Books!

Since January when I broke my hand, followed by a couple of eye surgeries, things have piled up in my office. The rest of my house is junk free (other than closets and pantry), but I struggle with my office. Especially considering my bargain book-buying habit.

Lately, I’ve avoided my office, but there’s no other good place in my house to work. The chairs elsewhere hurt my back. There’s noise (even though I have a quiet husband). And my reference materials are stored in the office.

I thought my trouble was focusing as I’ve tried to get a grasp on my writing time since returning from vacation. But when reading I Was Busy, Now I’m Not by Joseph Peck, I was struck rather forcibly by this statement:

“There are two things to organize—your time and your space… Removing clutter from your physical environment helps you think more clearly and brings more peace. Getting organized is crucial to the matter of redeeming the time.”

Where Do I Start? Unclutter 101

I had tried to straighten up my office many times, but I simply had no room for everything, especially the books I had collected for the last 25 years. What to do? As when dealing with any issue, I figured there was help available “out there,” and so there was. I found the Becoming Minimalist website and signed up for a 12-week Uncluttered course. I thought that surely, with the help of videos and weekly email pep talks, I could bite the bullet and get my office functional again.

One weekend and fourteen fewer bags of books later, it looks terrific. (See the contrast below.) All the book shelves are still full, but the floors are clear, I can see the treadmill again, I re-discovered so many unread books, and I can find things! Five bags of books were donated to the Book Cellar downtown for re-sale, and nine bags of books went out in the trash. (I mark up all my nonfiction and scribble notes all over the margins, and no one wants them for re-sale.)

Saying Good-Bye to Friends

I grieved, truly, as I parted with my books. I glanced in many of them, noting the dates and messages in the margins which reminded me of what I was dealing with at the time. Those writing books and self-help books chronicled my various recoveries over the years, and those books were like my friends. Those authors and their support or advice were always at my fingertips. If only I could have kept them all!

Here are the before and after photos of various parts of my office. There are many British photos and mementos from my trips to England, and yes, my mini Christmas tree with the British ornaments stays up all year. I love my office now and can’t wait to go in there in the morning. The minute I sit down at my cleared-off desk, I actually feel focused. And I am still surrounded by a ton of books, which makes me really happy.

If you need to do this too, I hope you bite the bullet. You may find that it’s the only cure you need to give yourself instant focus.

BEFORE and AFTER Removing the Clutter

   

   

 

   

 

For other ways to focus, try some of these articles.

When Your Writer’s Personality is Rejected

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: encouragement, family, friends, pain, rejection, Uncategorized, writing challenges, writing life

The post below about a writer’s personality ran six years ago, and something happened this past week that reminded me of how much we need other writers. I am blessed to have two such people as close friends: one who is my age and in relatively the same stage in life, and one who is 15 years older, who has weathered tougher times than I have and still kept her marvelous sense of humor. I hope to be like her someday. However, the first 2/3 of my writing life wasn’t like that, and I felt truly alone in this venture. If that sounds like you, read on (including the comments which I saved.) When I say that “we’re all in this together,” I mean it.

*******

If you’ve studied personality types, you may have noticed how many writers have a good dose of the Melancholy Temperament.

Some of the signs:

  • You’re sensitive to your own feelings plus the vibes given off by others.
  • You notice things that go over the heads of others.
  • You love solitude—and need it to feel sane and calm.
  • You like to think, and think deeply.
  • You may be more of an observer at parties, avoiding the limelight if possible.

All those traits help your writing immensely. Other writers will love those traits in you.

Unwelcome Personality

Be warned, however. Many people in your life won’t like some of your creative personality. When that happens, it will feel like another form of rejection.

I was reminded of this when re-reading a terrific book called The Soul Tells a Story by Vinita Hampton Wright. Here’s what  the author has to say about this:

“My gifts were always welcomed and encouraged in my family, church, and school communities. What was not welcomed was the personality from which those gifts spring. I was moody, easily depressed and extremely introverted. I had no social skills, was too honest when I talked, and didn’t know anything about flirtation or other forms of politics.” She added that she had “an overriding sense that people didn’t accept me as I was. I would be told to stop having a long face, that I should smile more, that I should be more outgoing…that to be inward was to be self-centered.”

If you have some Melancholy Temperament, and you also grew up in a dysfunctional environment, your personality traits may be even more pronounced.

Finding a Kindred Personality

I could really identify with Ms. Wright’s words. All my life I’ve been told that I think too much. So my best friend (a non-writer) shocked me when we first met. She said, “I like that you read a lot and think deeply.” She does too—and we bonded for life! You need to have such kindred souls in your life–even one will do.

I’m not saying we never need to change. And I’m not suggesting that you announce to your family “I’m moody because I’m a writer, so get over it” or snarl “Go away and leave me ALONE because I’m an introvert” or tell people off because you are honest.

On the other hand, stop tying yourself into a pretzel to be what someone else thinks you should be.

Be Grateful for Your Writer’s Personality

I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to “undo” my writer’s personality, not realizing what it was (or that it was part of a gift). You may find that there are few people that you can be your unvarnished self with. (I am blessed with a best friend, a dear sister, and another writer who let me relax and say whatever is on my mind and never judge or reject me. If you have even ONE person in your life where you can do that, you are blessed.)

With everyone else, I tone down the tell-it-like-it-is honesty, and I smile whether I want to or not. I developed social tricks to get others to talk so I didn’t have to. I’ve dumped my “unacceptable” feelings into journals for nearly thirty years.

I might not be as brave as some of you. Or maybe I’m just old enough to be too tired to deal with people who don’t understand me and don’t want to try. It stirs up exhausting discussions that go nowhere. I’d rather save that energy for my writing.

Put Your Writer’s Personality to Good Use

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t stuff things till I implode. (I used to–bad for the blood pressure!) Instead, I pour those in-your-face honest feelings into my fiction and nonfiction. I let characters say things I don’t say anymore. I tend to create characters that feel like they’re out of the mainstream socially. And I love characters who are sensitive and probably think too much.

Ms. Wright says: “Creativity takes you places that are weird to others. Don’t be surprised when others reject you for being different, asking too many questions or expressing yourself in ways that are unfamiliar to them.”

You’re not alone if you get this type of reaction fairly often. Just be sure to hang out with people—like me—who will value your writer’s personality. They’re out there. Look for them, and don’t stop till you find one. I was in my late 30s before I found a truly kindred soul.

When you find someone who likes your writer’s personality, you may find out that they’re undercover writers as well. If so, you’re doubly blessed.

If you’ve ever felt this way, please leave a comment! You’re among friends here! [NOTE: I understand that a security issue has blocked comments. I have a “work order” into Sucuri to get it fixed, in case you try to post and can’t. Argh!]

Making Memories with Laura Ingalls Wilder, Pioneer Girl

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: Learning, research, writing

In a slight departure from the writing tips posts, I want to share some photos of the homesteads where Laura Ingalls Wilder lived. I just returned from touring sites with my youngest daughter and her two girls (ages 6 and 8).

My granddaughters read the Laura books this past year, and my own three girls were raised on them. They visited Independence KS and Walnut Grove before I caught up with them. These are photos from De Smet SD and Mansfield MO. 

The pictures below are mostly from De Smet, where we could take more photos of the hands-on experiences. (Rules prohibited photos inside the actual Ingalls homes and surveyor’s house.) There is also a photo “On the Shores of Silver Lake” in De Smet.

The last two photos are from Mansfield MO, at Laura and Almanzo’s home where they lived many years. (They built that huge farmhouse by hand themselves, one room at a time as they could afford it, with materials found on the farm.) Everything in the house was exactly the way Laura left it when she died in 1957. For us devoted Laura fans, it was incredible getting to see Pa’s fiddle and the two items saved when Laura and Almanzo’s first home burned down, among dozens of other personal effects.

Laura, the Writer

As a writer, I loved seeing Laura’s writing desk, left exactly as it was the day she died. (I loved that a letter from her publisher lay on her desk. It was called Harper & Brothers then. I’ve had a number of books published by HarperCollins, as it is now called.) I know it’s rather silly, but I also loved seeing her Blue Willow dishes in her kitchen. (I have collected them since I got a child’s Blue Willow tea set when I was young.) A kindred soul!

For all you Laura fans out there, here’s my mini tribute to a tough, sensitive, gritty, wonderful pioneer girl and writer. ENJOY!

At De Smet, South Dakota 

Mansfield, MO

Blasting Off: Reclaiming a Daily Writing Habit

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: habits, healing, overwhelmed, procrastination, writing, writing advice, writing habits

I launched my writing rocket 35 years ago. With a daily writing habit, it took off and kept my career orbiting, despite getting off-course sometimes and necessitating a re-calculation. In theory, a re-launch would never be required. 

But the last couple of years have wreaked havoc with my writing routine. Breaking my left wrist in four places, learning to type again, losing my mom, breaking my right hand in two places, two eye surgeries (one of which went awry), and a couple other major life “events” meant that I have spent the last few years learning how to start again . . . and again . . . and yet again. 

Why So EXHAUSTING?

Thank you to each one of you who wrote to ask if I were okay. I really appreciated that. I knew that I both needed and wanted to get back to blogging. First, I needed to face the fact that I’d replaced my iron-clad writing routine with a “maybe I will, I’m so tired, maybe I won’t write today” attitude. That needed fixing first. I had succumbed to Newton’s first law where objects at rest tended to stay at rest!

I tried to get back into my former writing routine (devotions early in the morning, followed by a time block of four hours for writing). Even with my mental flogging, I could only manage that routine for a few days. Then I cut back to two hours, then half an hour, and then gave up altogether for three or four days.

I had no energy for it! But why? I was happy when writing, but instead of energizing me again, it wore me out now! That really worried me.

Pull of Inertia Vs. Lift-Off

The answer came when I was listening to a podcast last week. Someone mentioned how much energy a rocket needed for lift-off. Did you know that 70% of the fuel on board a rocket is used up during take-off, trying to escape the pull of the earth’s gravity? Seventy percent! The rest, a measly 30%, is all that is needed to get to the moon and back (or wherever the rocket is headed) once the rocket is up to speed.

A light bulb went on when I heard that. Getting started with my writing routine again seemed to take so much energy each time. Apparently it wasn’t my imagination either. I always knew that getting started was the hardest part, but now it made sense why. It took more than half of my energy! I was in the habit now of sitting, not writing, or watching Britbox mysteries, not writing.

So it was no wonder that, after overcoming my inertia, I had little energy left for writing.

Blast Off? Who’s Kidding Who?

Did you ever notice how S-L-O-W those rockets lift off? They don’t blast off! They make lots of noise, raise lots of dust and smoke, shake and shimmy, and barely move an inch or two. Then more noise and dust, and they lift off six inches, then a foot. But it takes a lot of noise and effort and time to reach any kind of speed or escape velocity.

And that is exactly how we “lift off” again when our daily writing habit has been disturbed a few times. We shake and shimmy, make noise and smoke, burn more than half our energy, and lift off an inch at a time. But we DO lift off!

A Daily Writing Habit: Give It Time

If my theory was right, I knew what to do. I tried something new.  I granted myself the grace to admit how much energy it took to get started again. If actually sitting down and creating words out of thin air again was going to take 70% of my energy, then I wouldn’t expect my remaining 30% to produce four solid hours of writing.

No.

Instead, I expected to write one full hour with my remaining energy. That mini goal equaled a very successful day. I’ve followed that routine all week, and I’ve succeeded five days in a row so far. Actually, today I went beyond the hour because I still had some energy left. I doubled my daily word count, in fact, but was no more tired than yesterday after one hour.

THIS IS THE POWER OF HABITS, in my opinion. That is why I aim to write daily from now on. I never want to get back to the place where simply attaining “lift off” takes 70% of my energy. With a daily writing habit, you slip into it almost without effort. That leaves about 95% of your energy–NOT 30%–for your writing.

And that’s the kind of magical writing day that leaves you more energized than you began.

ARGH! I’ve Done It Again

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: healing, health, writing, writing challenges

As I announced before the holidays, I planned to take a break from social media for a month. I did that, and soon I will write about some of those results.

But lately I’ve received several emails asking if something was wrong and why I didn’t resume the blog in January. 

Well, it’s because I did it again.

History Repeats Itself

Less than two years ago I tripped and fell in the backyard, breaking my wrist in four places. Healing involved being in three different casts for three months, then learning how to type all over again due to a frozen wrist.

This time my accident was much less serious, but when I fell in early January, I broke my right hand (and I’m right-handed). The first picture below I got off the Internet. It shows which bone is broken, but mine broke in three pieces instead of two. 

At first, I couldn’t move my arm, wrist, hand, or fingers. Now I’m in a removable cast and can wiggle my fingers and shower without a plastic bag!

                                    

Online . . . Sort Of

For several weeks, I answered email and completed copy-editing projects typing with my left index finger. You can imagine how long it took. Occasionally I use my Dragon NaturallySpeaking software, but unless you are writing a rough draft, I haven’t found it terribly helpful, at least not during the book editing phase I am working on.

As you can see, I’m getting around just fine. Last week I was even able to accompany my youngest daughter’s family on a trip to Washington, DC.

I had never been there before, and it was so very inspiring. We toured about a dozen museums and government buildings, but my favorite was the Lincoln Memorial.

Any Tips?

Thank you for the kind comments I received in the email and on Facebook. If any of you are prone to falling or have very breakable bones, please send me any tips you have for avoiding falls. I have done the obvious things, like making the shower safe and putting nightlights in every room of the house, but I’m sure there are lots more things I could be doing so this doesn’t happen again.

I plan to be back to the blog very soon. Next week I get my hand x-rayed again to see if it is mending. If the bones are starting to stick together, I can avoid surgery for sure. I also have cataract surgery next week, which I am very excited about. Very soon I should be able to type again and actually see the keyboard without squinting! I can’t wait!

 

Digital Detox: My Christmas Gift to ME

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: Internet, social marketing, social media

This fall, I read many books on habit formation (in the hopes of building better writing and health/healing habits). Several have been terrific, helpful, and practical (see below). I have already blogged about a couple of them here and here.

While each book had a different focus, at least one chunk of each book was devoted to limiting (some would say severely limiting) screen time, including use of smartphones, and specifically social media and email.

It’s well accepted and scientifically proven now that screen time changes even babies’ brains, induces ADHD in children, and creates and deepens depression in teens. However, it does just as much damage to adults. It does more than waste time. It also causes or deepens depression, creates brain fog and forgetfulness, increases internal pressure to hurry, helps us procrastinate, and robs us of much needed time for other things.

If this describes you, and you want to know how to kick the screen habit, try these books:

I decided, for Christmas this year, to give myself a gift: detoxing from screen time, including social media. My “default” needs to be re-set. It is a gift that should outlast the holiday season.

Filling All That Free Time

What will I replace all that screen time with during the holidays? For the most part, reading. I have noticed that when I am sick or simply exhausted, nothing revives me like reading for pleasure. Even just fifteen minutes immersed in a good book can rejuvenate me.

Turns out, I’m not alone at all. There are books on reading for healing! Here are two of them that I like.

I’ll see you back on the blog early in January, 2019. I will be keeping notes in my journal about changes I experience during this time. I am eager to see how absence from screens and social media will change my experience of Christmas.

Until January, Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!

Minimalist Living and the Internet: a Productive Partnership

Published on by Kristi Holl Category: writing

Today I read a blog post in my Inbox about making great use of the Internet and smartphones without wasting time and trading your life for it. The web post by Barking Up the Wrong Tree author (Eric Barker) is HIGHLY worth your time.

Please head over there right now. You’ll find yourself nodding and saying, “Yes! Yes!” as you read.

After reading the post, I went immediately to pre-order the book being discussed: Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World by Cal Newport. His solutions are made in heaven for everyone, I think, but especially for those of us who write.

While you are waiting for Newport’s new book to be released, I hope you will get a copy of his previous bestseller (Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World) and read it too.

Best of Both Worlds

Writers: like Dorothy, we aren’t in Kansas anymore. Do you want to do the writing of your dreams, but still be part of the digital age? Then get this expert advice. I think, if we apply these principles, we can have the best of both worlds.

So, don’t waste another minute. Read the preview here.